Growing resentment

Sounds awful. Don't count me in the crowd that would ever advocate "its all about her." Throw that out the window. You need to think about yourself and so does your wife.

 

I agree that the "its all about her" philosophy is flawed and we see evidence of that all the time here. In an FLR, it should be: The relationship > Her needs = His needs > Her wants > His wants

The three biggest failures on that I see on this site are:
1) the guy trying to push his wants as his wife's needs
2) the guy just generally trying to push his fetishes
3) the woman ignoring her husband's needs

#3 can be difficult to diagnose in some instances because sometimes a man's wants can transform into a need. Take the situation in the OP. Is his need for some level of sexual intimacy with his wife a want or a need? On the short term, it is arguably a want, but over the long term, I argue that it becomes a need.

Neither chastity nor an FLR should be used as an excuse to sexually abandon a husband. (and are often brought up by sexually abandoned husbands in an attempt to rebuild something) That doesn't mean the wife ever needs to touch the husband sexually, but she needs to actively make him feel connected to her and that requires at least occasional sexual interaction.

 

The key word in the FLR (or any other) is the R. Relationships are surely 2 sided and not just about 1 person! Just my take on things.

 

I think I may find myself in the same position, that's why i prefer not to give her total control, but a more "timed" play, with access to keys in every circumstances (even if she would be disappointed at best for me using them without permission).

 

From reading all that has been written my take on your situation is that it is a list cause. As my late father often said, “You can’t push a chain.”
Perhaps you should consider giving up on chstity play with your wife or, if you must have this element in your life, give up on your wife.

 

I second this. You guys needs to talk. Definitely ask her what she wants to get out of it and what you can do more. Good luck.

 

Though, four weeks isn't actually very long.

 

I stated earlier in this thread that I’m kinda in the same boat as you and I’ve been reading along and paying attention to the advice you’re getting because it pertains to me as well.
My main reason for chastity is to focus on her better. Now those can use the words serve or submit but for now I’ll stick with focus. I’ve always been pretty good at tending to her needs but I felt I wanted to do more and after reading about chastity thought I’d give it a try. Staying away from self gratification leaves lots more time to focus on her. I’m quicker to do what chores she asks and do them with more enthusiasm. I may never have as deep of a chastity lifestyle as some here but I’ll take what I get and go from there.
The point is I don’t think you have to choose one or the other. There’s plenty of room for compromise as long as the channels of communication stay open.

 

I've been there, and I've felt what you're feeling before.

In my experience, the problem is that you have expectations. You either need to put those aside and channel them into something else, or this probably won't work.

Life can be stressful and my wife can go a couple of weeks without really wanting anything sexual when work and familly life is taking its toll. Just be available and be affectionate. If you want to be physical try offering her massages and cuddling her. You can try romancing her, but don't try and guilt or coerce her into anything more. If she wants it, she'll let you know..

Forget about what you want, it's about what SHE wants, and what SHE needs.

This part of what people mean by "be careful what you wish for"

 

Did she unlock you for that or did she have you work on her with your cage on?