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Getting started again

Discussion in 'The Foyer' started by GoddessCliodhna, Aug 1, 2017.

  1. hello all,
    I have loved chastity for many years where I have played and dabbled, toyed and teased. Recently I began conversations with a new slave and I am looking to make it a long term keyholder relationship. I am interested to know from other long term key holders and lock up wearers information about length of time, training to get to long term, secudevices and anything else one would like to share.
     
  2. Long term can vary depending on how you define long term. But my advice would be that long term requires incentive. Long term lock up is not easy and any ordinary man would give up without some incentive to keep going. Training for long term denial will be almost as much for you as it is for the one being locked. You'll have to get inside their head and figure out what things motivate them that you can use to keep them going.
     
    Joan.t likes this.
  3. Thank you Shepherdsflock. Motivation and incentives are definitely good starting points. Some have been covered but I would love to hear more about them from another's pov
     
  4. Hello and welcome to CM.
    Hopefully you'll find it informative and entertaining and find all the answers to your questions.
    Amanda x
     
  5. Like above said it really depends on what you consider long term and your history. My KH has been off and on for a year, this past month it has become much more "long term. If you consider your regular routine with the exception of being locked up between "play time" it may be ok with your partner, however if you are going to just lock it and leave it well it may be harder for him. Communication has been the key for us.
     
  6. Thank you mascara ^snake, I am finding lots of entertaining information.
     
  7. Cb1984,
    Long term I guess for me is 6 months to a year locked. Could just be a dream for both of us but that has been where our discussion has traveled. The longest I have ever kept a cage locked has been a month. Beautiful, but it was definitely worked up to where "play time" was every other day for a week for two weeks then 2 times a week for two weeks, 1 a week for two weeks and then a "play" session once every two weeks with play time getting shorter each time. It took about 6 months for poor thing to last a whole month in chastity. I am in discussion with a slave who is more adept at chastity so I believe it will take less time to get there.
     
    slave_m likes this.
  8. Hello Goddess Cliodhna and welcome! Sounds like you are hoping to embark on a journey that I think many dream of, but few achieve. Your slave will be lucky to join you on this journey for certain. I'm not sure there are any "rules" per se on the best way to achieve what you want. I think it is about two people working together toward a common goal. I had found in the past not being released within expected timeframes a very effective way to get used to longer locked periods. I would be told it might be a week, two weeks, a month, then when the magic moment arrived she would say she'd changed her mind. Frustrating as hell, but it worked in terms of achieving the mindset for extended lockups. 6 months or a year? Gulp! I was climbing walls and wanting to kill neighbour's pets at 3 months! But I guess that was just another milestone toward longer too..... That was the longest I achieved. Beyond that puts me back in the dreamers category :) Enjoy the journey!!
     
  9. Thank you latexbound.
    Knowing more about the length of time and what it does mentally helps to find ways to endure....what incentives make it easier to stretch the mind and push past the achieved to gain more time.
    Three months locked is a good amount of time. You have a good keyholder.
     
  10. "Had" a good keyholder! hehe
    I think the incentives for me were always about attention, knowing she wanted me. Periods where one is locked and feeling isolated are very difficult to endure, but if the keyholder is there when she/he is needed, even if it is to just confirm there will be no release "just yet", that helps a lot. Then I felt that I was locked by someone who didn't just want me locked but wanted me. Made a big difference, I think
     
  11. Good to know. "Lock-n-leave" in my opinion is poor keyholding. For me, the intention of locking a chastity and carrying the key is to gain more attentiveness from the wearer, for the man to recognize who is in charge and what he needs to do to gain precious time unlocked.
     
  12. Mistress Jules
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    Mistress Jules Professional Dominatrix and Owner of Lockit
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    Welcome to the Mansion. I can see you have a good idea about male chastity already, I am sure the members here will be more than happy to help with any questions you have regarding getting your new slave into longer term chastity. Have fun on your journey.
     
    slave_m likes this.
  13. I only found long term comfort in a custom made Jailbird from Mature Metal. Not only comfort but hygienic. I think it took me 3 weeks just to wear it during the day. About 3 months later I started wearing it to bed most nights and eventually wore it 24/7. I had to start off wearing it a few hours a day and increasing the time every few days. Like most guys I went for the large ring because it was comfortable until it started to rub me raw and allow me to pop out of it. Even with the Jailbird I had to send it back twice. Once to adjust the ring and the second time to adjust the gap size. I find it very interesting when I read someone say that they just wore it 24/7 from day over any length of time. The odds of getting the right fit on day one are very high but fantasy is not about odds so you will have to control your slave.

    My situation is different because I am nobody's slave. We do chastity in a loving 45 year marriage. Therefore I feel that my enjoyment and wellbeing must be part of our chastity play as well as my wife's. If it isn't fun for both of us we just do not do it. I worry about 24/7 quick access to an emergency key. Many guys get caught up in the fantasy and will do anything to be dominated. They are blinded to what can happen to them. I have learned the hard and painful way how important it is to play safe and sane. Most of all how important it is for my KH/Mistress to make sure that I do not open myself to harm due to my sexual arousal and fantasy.

    In the long run, if you do it your way rather than what the guy wants, it will last. On the other hand, many guys who want to be slaves, want to be slaves the way they want to and if not, they end up leaving as soon as the initial excitement wears off. I tried it twice and what always happens is that one day I wake up and just do not feel like licking anyone's boots. :) Good luck to you and hope it works out.
     
  14. Thank you. As of right now we seem to be very much on the same wavelength. I look forward to this journey
     
  15. I got some experiance with long term chastity. But I never used chastity devices. I think the key to long term chastity is the motivation. The sub really needs to have a big fetish for chastity. And the longer he is chaste, the stronger his chastity fetish gets. So its pretty easy to train a sub to long term chastity, when he already starts with a strong fetish.
    I started with 2 weeks. Then 1 month. From there, a mistress made me jump to 6 month. After you went 6 month without orgasm, your fetish gets really strong. And since that time, my chastity times have always been in months, not days or weeks anymore.
    My longest has been 16 month without orgasm. But it wasnt that hard, because the woman who kept me chaste was very strict. She more strict the woman is, the more it motivates the sub, because he dont want to disappoint her.
    I think if you got a sub with a good chastity fetish, you can go straight to 6 month or 1 year of chastity. No training needed. Just the first 1-2 month will be hard, but his motivation will rise. Just show no mercy, and he will be even more motivated.
     
  16. Thank you dereknor. I do appreciate your response to this thread. I do believe that this slave has a very strong chastity fetish and has experienced it before.
     
  17. For us, it is more about keeping communication very open. The physical chastity/lockup is not as difficult (or fun) as being mentally submissive to Her. When I know how disappointed She would be in my failures, it keeps me very focused on pleasing Her. I know, also how She thinks about me and our situation a lot and that serves to keep me just a little in the dark. The cage helps that a bit, but is not as strong as my thoughts can be. We talk about what we each are thinking pretty often and that "mental submission" keeps the FLR working pretty well.
     
  18. Thank you DonnaSue.
    Yes, I as well believe it has a lot to do with the mental aspects. We connect daily and discuss our thoughts and I let him know what pleases me and what disappoints me. It is good to read that it can go beyond the cage and be a deeper connection than physical. I have oft wondered if the mental interactions had as much as the physical. I know for Me as a keyholder the mental is very much a part of the interaction. Thank you again for your response.
     
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