Chastity can have its twist and turns. Sometimes it feels natural, sometimes it feels a little pressured. Like our own interest can wane and ebb, so can that of our keyholders. Even if we constantly inflate the benefits to our other half’s, there is a sacrifice to be made on both sides. There are many reasons to this, but focussing on my own current situation, problems have been transpiring since I went through piercing. It has made the situation difficult. Not only has it removed my freedom, but it has also restricted hers to do exactly what she wants. It just needs to heal before we consider removing and replacing at will, perhaps caging so soon after was a mistake. That however, is now who I am. If I could tick a box on a form I would identify as chaste male, for so many reasons I just want to be in my cage. That doesn’t mean that it’s always plain sailing. There appears to be two solutions to this. The First, we find a way to heal fully and allow a more relaxed caged life, the only situation I can foresee on this one is remaining in the cage for a long period of time… The other option is just to remove the piercing and accept that this has been a failure. There is a third option. Healing outside of the cage. Why wouldn’t we just do that? Because it really hurts. Every night I roll and snag it. It’s painful and disrupts my sleep far more than any cage ever has. I’m just like that, I don’t lay still. I can’t sleep on my back. I fidget, roll, squirm and shuffle all night long. Healing through this would take drastically longer. So my wife went with option 2… That doesn’t sound right? Let’s get rid of the cage? She loves our way of life. Doesn’t she? She does, but unknown to me (and maybe this has been a sign that I too have become neglectful) she had started her period. She was already stressed with other life factors and with this on top had caused an emotional crash! You take your partner in sickness and health, for better for worse… this is my wife at her worse. I should know better than to even discuss anything as there will only be a negative response. We argued. She was unhappy. Not with the cage per se. Everything is a problem to her right now; money, work, the decorating, the flat tyre on her car, the amount of food in the house… everything! Ordinarily, I am exempt from her list of grievances but on this occasion she has major issues with me. Mostly, because I had seemed distant, unaffectionate and uncaring. Did I say this was my wife at her worse? I should explain myself. Last week one of my colleagues took his own life, as his line manager this has added a whole load of emotional stress as I battle my way through a process of which I have little understanding. I didn’t know him well and so it would be unfair to say I am grieving, but the situation and my history has had a massive impact on my own well-being. I am distant, unaffectionate and am struggling to really care much for the issues she is facing. They seem trivial at this time. I find her need for attention somewhat selfish. So we’re at our worst. The cage was already off, I had bathed and felt little inclination to replace it at the time. My wife is currently not may favourite person and she has decided she no longer wants it as part of our lives… So that’s it right? I don’t want to wear the cage, my wife wants nothing to do with it. Why would we find any reason to continue? It’s very simple; She had forgotten. We all do it. Situations become normality over longer periods of time, be them good, bad, stressful or ecstatic. Even chastity becomes the status quo. Eventually we habituate to our existence and our previous experiences become distant memories. You need a breather to appreciate just how good you have it. Just like a holiday, you’re always a little glad when you get back home… One of my wife’s frustrations is how much I do for her. (Honestly!?!). It’s not bad, but to return that in sexual favours makes the whole scene feel a little dirty. As she puts it, she prostitutes herself for the housework. That’s a logical point and something I’m keen to address, this sexual standing has spilled out way too far into our lives. Gone is any notion of an FLR and a return to a more balanced approach to our lives. This however, appeared to be a good reminder of what she had going on. A conversation that it was her turn to clean up after the dog was enough that she began to doubt the sensibility of option 2. A few cuddles and the natural reaction of my body to disrupt her thoughts that this could just be non-erotic intimacy was unwelcome. By the time we discussed her birth control (something she preferred she didn’t need) her mind had wandered back to making chastity a feature of our lives. “How long does it say it takes to heal?” She asked as she sat nonchalantly putting on her makeup before work. “3 to 4 months” I fibbed, I could see quite clearly that the internets first hit said ‘3-6 months, but possibly up to a year’ but I feel 3 months will reduce the difficulty we are experiencing right now. “Well, we’ll do 4 months. You’re not coming out at all. If we take it off after and it’s even slightly uncomfortable you’re going back in for another month.” She said, before realising the length she had just proposed. “You can go that long inside if you stay clean, right?” “It’s not that I can’t stay in that long, I don’t want to go four months in total lockdown.” I blurted out. “No, you can remove it briefly for cleaning if you don’t get hard.” She said. “I’m serious, we’re not going backwards again. This needs sorting.” 4 months without an erection?? What have I got myself into? Shit!
When I got mine I had no cage time for three months to let it fully heal. Wearing the cage might work if you don't remove it at all. You should really just not remove the piercing at all during the healing/stretching period. You said it yourself, you're chaste. Accepting the security of the piercing isn't easy but just commit to it. It's what you wanted lol.
Having just done almost 4 months myself I can tell you it does drive you crazy sometimes but you’ll get used to it. I missed the erections but it became somewhat normal after a time to not have them. You can do it!
God only knows why more people don’t use the tether system rather than put holes in your dicks. Can’t pull out without ripping the tip of my penis off. I can remove it in about 1 minute. it hasn’t been removed in 9 months no problems (with the titanium version), no need too remove it ever really. can pee standing up. putting a cap on it for sex restricts cum flow. only down side is partner doesn’t really like the look of a bit of metal sticking out the tip, but a pa would be no better, when I ask her if she would like me to remove it for sex the answer is always no.
IMO if you committed to getting a piercing for chastity then you should follow through with it properly. Give it time to heal and don’t f***k with it until it’s strong enough to handle a chastity pin. Just leave the original piercing jewelry in there without using a cage until it’s healed up. The pain will subside over time, you just have to be patient. The reward is worth the pain and effort. I didn’t catch what piercing you decided to get, I had a frenum at first but I ended up not liking it so I abandoned it, it pinched a lot, especially in the beginning healing time. Later, I got a PA and I remember the worst pain was the feeling of the jewelry portion rubbing in the urethra. Eventually I became desensitized to it. Just hang in there, I think you’ll enjoy the benefits once it’s healed and you both get to use it for chastity.
Wow, I'm no expert in getting a PA. I did read up on it when I was considering it. What I read is it takes 10 days to heal. 3-4months sounds insane. I'd definitely heal outside the cage. Regardless of whether you could or not heal inside the cage, it just seems to me you'll always heal better outside the cage. I'd double check if what you're experiencing is normal.
It takes time to adjust. The urethra isn't as malleable as other commonly pierced tissues and it's really easy to blow-out.
Thank you for your feedback. Just to clear things up I don’t have a frenum or PA. Here’s my piercing journey: https://www.chastitymansion.com/for.../self-piercing-stupidity-or-brilliance.51774/ It also lets you in on my mindset: I am a complete tit when it comes to piercings and chastity. As I do not know anyone who has this piercing in use for securing a cage I’m somewhat of a Guinea pig when it comes to this. I’ve done my research based on nipple piercing healing times! I have first hand experiences of those… I imagine a long period of non removal should be fine. I do know that it took my nipple almost a year to heal fully (but again, I didn’t treat that well either)…
It's brutal! I'm with you! It gets harder. Especially if you are let out once in awhile. The erection and orgasm are so mind blowing, the weeks that follow get even more difficult.
I viewed his healing period as the equivalent of the "initial lockup" period suggested on The Secret to a Happy Marriage site. No releases until after that and that's when she decides on what her preferred release cadence is. Even if it's only every 1-2 months after that, it seems like forever and it's never easy. It only gets harder.