I covered this in greater detail on my blog, but I have been reading another blog and their dynamic intrigues me. She forces him to do things. Yes I know you can’t force anyone to do this stuff, but the reality is that she expects certain things and doesn’t except any less. I have been thinking of this kind of consenting non consent for a bit. Mostly because I’ve been reading about it, but the other is how easy it would be for her to really take things to another level and make me do things. http://www.ladyalexauk.com/archive-index/ Now I don’t buy in to much of it, being not allowed on the same couch, creating financial dependency, curtsying, and in general treated as less. I did however find her ideas of male feminization, humiliation, and made to follow orders very erotic. I don’t even know I would even want this, I do know that being told to do something, even stuff I am not comfortable with is something that turns me on. Maybe it’s being that exposed, maybe it’s Not being able to choose is liberating. I wonder what my life would be like sometimes if she decided to take this further...making me be feminine at home all the time, making me do all sorts of things , with her armed with pictures or warnings of their exposure. She puts out some very good points about her version of a flr, but to take it that far would be very difficult to stay with long term. Part of me longs for this strict no nonsense servitude, and part thinks I would end up getting pissy about it in a month lol. So could you take being forced into service and made to comply knowing it really is for the betterment of you both? Or would that kind of power eventually drive you away, in spite of your happiness.
I could see it working temporarily if both are in the mood. However, as humans we often like our own space, interests, and have mood swings, I can’t see it going too well in the land of reality.
Hi @Nicoftime that is a good question, so are you still been in control of everything that happens or are you truly in an FLR marriage. So is the FLR real???. love reading your posts.
It’s a mutual partnership at the moment, although I defer on a lot of issues, and sexually she is in charge. I had been reading that blog and although I doubt I could live in such a fashion, i am curious on how I would react to total role reversal and submissiveness.
I think we're probably all at different points on a continuum that goes from total male domination (clearly far from any FLR) to total female domination. "Total" must of course be taken with a grain of salt: even men who crave the role of worthless slave allowed no initiative whatsoever are still volunteers. For many of us it's an interesting conundrum to be submissive and still try to influence our partner to be more dominant. The risk of seeming annoying and demanding is always there and must be avoided. On the other hand one is always told how vital it is to communicate. When my wife and I are home alone she finds it easier to boss me around. This weekend we are at a friend's house in the country with other people and she behaves more "normally." It's fine to be discreet, but still. Earlier she apologized for having left me to do some kitchen task. I said she needn't ever worry about that--I submit! She can do whatever she wants and I'll do her bidding. She nodded thoughtfully. Later, after we all had lunch and were still sitting around the table, our host said casually that we should clear the table and do the dishes. My wife looked at me and said, "Hup hup!" Her tone was no-nonsense and she wasn't smiling. I jumped up and started clearing the table. The others laughed. Eventually a couple of others started in too, but not my wife, who went off to read a book. A small victory! At home she will sometimes interrupt what I'm doing to tell me to do something else right now. At the beginning of our FLR I would find this irritating and say "Just a minute," but now I immediately respond and if I didn't she wouldn't put up with it. So bit by bit we creep toward the dominant end of the spectrum. Things are always changing a little.
I really have my doubts we could actually get that far. One, my kh is the sweetest person, and I know she would never do harm (she could threaten but I know deep down I am safe), two, I think it would be a lot of work for both of us to be that strict and to make the time to follow through all the time. Plus she doesn’t like telling me to do things as much as me anticipating her needs or surprising her.
Once again fascinating reading, and just wanted to share my thoughts and experiences about this. When I began a flr with my madam Feminization was a big thing for both of us, madam loved to dress me up and have me be her maid and girly toy. Some days madam would have me fully dressed all day long to serve her, other just on the evenings. But it didn’t fully satisfy madam, what she wanted to do was fully break a male ego and mind, and for a male to comply with and do everything she commanded him to, And for everyone to see that he did. So we left the fem alone and decided on a male servitude path instead, and have been ever since. When we started madam made it clear that it would be 24/7 and there would be no exceptions. It was a few months after starting this madam found out about chastity and decided I was to be locked 24/7 as well in my devotion to her. It wasn’t always plain sailing and we did have fights, but any lack of commitment on my part it failue to comply was met with madams stone like will and compleate wall of stubbornness, All activity would stop and there would be no bdsm no games nothing, and over time it worked, Madam broke me down so I would comply compleatly, We now have the flr/ bdsm life we always wanted.
I would love to attempt this kind of relationship with my wife but I think the problem with that level of servitude is it would take a very skilled and determined mistress. If this was something that a couple were to pursue it would make sense to try intensifying activities in small doses at a time and seeing what your partner can handle. It would take a lot of devotion and effort on the mistress's part in order to keep her sub in the right headspace. It makes sense to me to actually use vacation time (if you're working) and live this lifestyle for a week or two 24/7. Test the waters and if it's even possible to really live like that. Only problem that creates is once your mistress knows your capable and can comply she may not want that type of service to last only a week or two. I've found that after I've tried to quit chastity a couple of times that this lifestyle has really instilled itself in my wife's personality and is now a part of her. I've created certain relationship expectations and have admitted dark secrets to her that I can't back away from. My wife expects more from me now regardless of if I'm caged or not. She knows at heart I am a submissive and because of that she knows how to get what she wants from me. Like you said, some of it goes too far like the not allowed on the couch thing etc... I could see using sitting on the couch as a privilege or only when you're invited, I could also see keeping photos for supposed blackmail just to spice things up. Those ideas could be used as good tools every once in a while as an attention getter but I think would be hard on both partners to enforce 24/7.
Micromanagement is a specific thing that really turns some people on and is a big turn off for others. As you said, it takes a lot of time and energy, so if you aren't getting a dominant/erotic charge out of it, it begins to feel like extra work. Like having unruly kids who can't do anything without supervision. I like the suggestion of adding in new activities in small doses. That gives you an opportunity to try something out and see if it works for *both* of you. There are certainly things that I thought would be exciting that ended up just being a bit of a yawn.
I wouldn't want to go as far in subservience as her "wife" has been made to go. I don't mind being subservient to her as much as the exaggerated elements like curtsying, or the public exposure. I still want my own life and existence and interests, after all. I don't literally "live to serve", and my wife would find it exhausting within hours if I even tried to be that devoted to her. She doesn't want to be a ruler giving out orders, she just wants a peaceful home where she can be pampered and be in charge without having to apologize for being in charge. I would like more of the feminine elements of that home life, though. Obviously some things aren't practical, but I'd like my wife to make shaving and staying silky and feminine in my hygiene part of the rules, and I do love being spoken to in the feminine sense (being called "girl" or "she"). I'd love being spoken to like that constantly at home, maybe even renamed. Dresses and skirts only at home wouldn't be much of a change from now, but if I'm not going out in public too much hassle: basically getting dressed up to stay at home. My nightgowns only at home and panties 24/7 are already as far as we can go on the clothing front. There's not much further I'd dare to go in reality though; even pierced ears are a bit scary, I'd rather have small breasts (they can be taped down or kept down if they're only A or B cups, but ear piercings are noticeable even when out).