Expressing Emotions, Extracting Dark Revelations

Discussion in 'Female led relationships' started by RexVa, Jan 25, 2018.

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  1. RexVa
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    RexVa Active member

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    We often say males don't express their emotions as much as we would like them to. I've found that with them in long-term chastity, however, emotions come out more easily--especially during teasing or after discipline sessions--and I am able to extract concessions, expressions of deep-seated emotions, and even hidden revelations and desires, sometimes accompanied with crying outbursts. And I'm not talking precisely about wimpy males easily prone to sobbing, but rather strong, quite virile males in chastity whose submission enables them to uncover emotional qualities that I seek, value, and often put to good use afterwards.

    I wondering if anyone else can share if you experienced something similar, and learned more from emotions uncovered through chastity, and submission... What that was, how it came out, what did it lead to...
     
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  2. Breathe
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    Breathe Be true to yourself

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    Excellent topic. I believe the results you just described encompass many reasons why I took to D/s, and now chastity, so quickly.

    I've seen similar responses from My husband/pet during intense edging/T&D sessions and during power play. It doesn't happen every time, but certain actions have allowed Me to peer inside him while he sinks to those subspaces. Tones of voice. Commands. Coaxing his confessions that I already know to be true - then perhaps finding those I didn't even know about. I used to think it was twisted that (a big) part of Me enjoyed watching his tears and hearing his pleas of genuine desperation in those moments... but when I realized I was watching the layers truly fall away, it quickly became addictive. I've learned valuable information about him, Myself, and our marriage.

    Knowing your submissive (and Dominant, for that matter) so truly on such deep levels provides more powerful intimacy than I've ever experienced, elsewhere. I'm excited to see where it leads to next...
     
  3. RexVa
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    RexVa Active member

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    Indeed--in my experience, some of those involved breaking their prior resistance (new tasks, deeper levels of obedience and acceptance of my domination, including more regular peggings and added layers of control, financial and emotional). Plus, I find that I get intense, focused and very gratifying attention when I demand oral servicing following such emotional releases, as I allow them to embrace me while kneeling and return from subspace and back to submission.

    I imagine others may encounter similar situations.
     
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  4. mcfeely
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    mcfeely Active member

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    question and a comment. When you get these people broken are you using the information for "good or evil".? Love or control? Also be careful with who you play. We had a session and it unfortunatly triggered something in my head. I have had extensive E&E training, went into a "safe space"as we were trained to form and gave her zero feedback, coming out of that space I almost hurt her, getting my wits at the last moment. needless to say we were both quite suprised and a bit scared so we can't go down that road again. My wife knows and loves me and has been with me through some of the tougher parts of my life but even then there are dark doors you have to be careful about opening.
     
  5. Nicoftime
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    Nicoftime The suspense is terrible...I hope it lasts

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    I remember my first breakdown and emotional flood that escaped in front of her.

    I had told her about my hidden feminine nature, and my physical ties to it. That I had lived as a secure male in public my whole life, but by myself didn’t really think of myself that way. She was aware that when I’m alone I usually let my hair down so to speak and dress in normal female clothing. Not lingerie or some hooker outfit, just normal clothes.

    One day she told me she put something on the bed for me to wear, I got out of the shower and when I looked to see what it was, it was a nighty. I did not know what to do. I had never dressed that way in front of someone and I was scared and felt like it was really wrong. I had been avoiding someone seeing me like this forever.

    I put it on and walked upstairs to the living room where she was sitting on the couch watching tv. I sat next to her, feeling absolutely ridiculous, awful,shameful, and like I needed to just run out of there. She put her arm around me and pulled me to her, and my head was resting on her chest. She said “well you look nice” and stroked my back and shoulder.

    I do not know how much she saw, but tears streamed down my face. I had never felt such acceptance and genuine love in my entire life. Just that little act of being there for me, letting me be me around another human being, opened a floodgate of emotions and the tears fell. I didn’t sob, I’m not that kind of cryer, but I’m sure she heard my sniffle and knew I was wiping my eyes.

    It wasn’t about sex, or submission, it was about being completely vulnerable and not being hurt. There is no way I would have been able to do that without being locked for awhile, wanting to please her, and allowing myself to be that vulnerable.
     
  6. Breathe
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    Breathe Be true to yourself

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    I'm quite sure it's different for everyone, but I have an answer/comment for your question/comment. :)

    'Broken' seems like a harsh word, although I am sure it applies in many scenarios. Rather, for us, I enjoy 'exposing' him to the truth. Maybe it's all semantics in the end, but making those 'secret' desires rise to the surface has been an integral part of our D/s. In those moments, transparency is much more seamless and inviting... and it's where true progress resides.

    As such, I'd say these practices are based on love for him, control of him, and My love of controlling him... In that order.

    Without certain types of exposure, he'd still be ignoring or hiding a large part of his sexuality. While plenty of power exchange relationships can (and do) invite nefarious acts or possibilities when subspace is discovered, not all relationships operate this way.

    A Dom/me can certainly love a sub and control them, while keeping the sub's best interests (i.e. health, happiness, security) at the forefront of Her/His mind.

    'Evil' acts aren't necessary to take or maintain control... Even if it might feel that way during play. ;)
     
  7. RexVa
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    RexVa Active member

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    Precisely.
     
  8. Changeable
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    Changeable Member

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    Truly beautiful comments. So glad I finally saw these.
     
  9. cagedjon
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    cagedjon Active member

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    That is truly moving. What a beautiful experience. What ab expression of love. Almost brought a tear to the eye of an old cynic like me.
     
  10. Consensus
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    Oh. My. Goodness.

    That is beautiful.

    Inspirational. You are so lucky, and you know it. Necro-ing comment, i know, but such as this deserves another airing, i feel.

    PS i am jealous, in case that wasn't obvious.
     
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