Discipline (Punish Vs Funish)

Discussion in 'Female led relationships' started by GoodBoyID, Jul 17, 2021.

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  1. GoodBoyID
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    Hey all,
    My girlfriend (and KH) and I are back to our chastity-flr dynamic after a short break from it due to stress in life...

    - My KH has a hard time thinking of ways to discipline me that are not supposed to be fun. aka literal punishments.
    It would be very helpful for us to achieve a great dynamic if some of you more experienced KH here to share your ideas for punishment.

    - In addition, my KH feels guilt when it comes to discipline me and it would be very helpful for both of us to read some reasons for her to set free from these feelings. The best thing for us is to find any kind of activity\experience that will make her feel very dominant and maybe free her mind from guilt.

    - One last thing that we would love to hear from you is ways we can empower her and establish her dominance daily, maybe some routines you have or any other idea you might think of.

    I am very excited to come back and know for sure you'll have the greatest tips for us!
    Thank you so much!

    P.S
    I really love establishing a connection with people here in the community, so please DM me if you feel like it.
    Also if any KH here feels like she would enjoy mentoring us (only via chat or mail-wise at least for now) we would appreciate it very very much!
     
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  2. WhiteKnight
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    WhiteKnight Member

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    If you want to 'empower' her, get her to set an orgasm tariff.
    So you have to give her a set number of orgasms before you have any chance of getting out (it's not automatic!) She, of course, is entitled to order you to please her, anytime she likes, anywhere she likes and any how she likes. We find this a great way of asserting her dominance and your submission.
    We don't really go in for punishment as such: it's a matter of something you really don't like and that's obviously a very personal thing.
    For many subs, and for obvious reasons, simply being ignored really is one of the worst things. So 'corner time' works well particularly if it's humiliating as in naked, on your knees, literally in a corner and pressing something to wall with your nose.
    Paddling can really hurt and as such is a very strong deterrent . . . and only to be used as an absolute last resort.
    Adding extra time to lock-up - or at least threatening to - also seems to work well as a motivational tool !
    And finally have you ever heard of, or considered, figging ?
    Interested to hear what you think.
     
  3. MsAsubbyhubby
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    On a podcast I was listening to. As punishment the wife would wear something her husband knew was hot. And forbid him from touching her. All day. An she would tease him all day.
     
  4. LockedTower
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    If you really want her to feel dominant, then don't do things that require or compel punishments or discipline. Serve her and her needs in ways she enjoys and desires without need for reciprocation. Give her time to find her way of expressing her dominance without pressure to perform. The only way she can feel dominant is if you are submissive first.

    For a daily reinforcement of your dynamic, perhaps make a routine where you kneel to your wife every evening before bed and ask her if you have pleased her that day. Let her tell you if you have or have not and what you could do to improve.
     
  5. Aral
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    #5 Aral, Jul 17, 2021
    Last edited: Jul 17, 2021
    Elise Sutton says - If a woman loves her husband, she whipped her husband. Punishment and discipline is a manifestation of love. That's how a every woman should see it.

    I also recommend her books.
     
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  6. Bound4life
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    That sounds good in theory and works well for some. It does not work for us as my wife does not feel comfortable telling me to please her sexually. She is not dominant and does the KH thing for me, she doesn't seem to get anything out of it. I think she does like that when I come on to her she gets to orgams and often doesn't feel guilty about not letting me. But I do think she lets me have sex with her more out of guilt than her wanting my penis. It is alway after she has had a full orgasm and seems to want me to finish quickly. But different things work for different people.
     
  7. asastype
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    asastype Service sub to Mistress AMA

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    I have a list of 40 or so discipline "punishments" that i administer myself as i accumulate punishment "cards" through missed jobs, poor behavior, or at Mistress' whim.

    These range from wearing a gag or posture collar for a few hours (during the day, not playtime) to taking a cold shower to using nipple clamps or clothespins for a set amount of time.

    Mistress also won't entertain allowing me a climax if i have more than 9 of these "cards", so i 'm motivated to keep my behavior up and knock these off when needed (which is usually). I can provide the full list of you'd like to see it.

    asa
     
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  8. LesterBallard
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    The best punishments may not be fetishised ones but routine. Extra chores. Half rations. This emphasises the flr aspect of the dynamic rather than the sexual.
     
  9. GoodBoyID
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    Very cool ideas she doesn't feel comfortable with inserting a peeled ginger root into my anus tough :) lucky me I guess.

    I agree that first of all, I have to be submissive. Nevertheless, sometimes, I will slip out of my role or disappoint her and for this moment it is important that she'll have the tool to straighten me up.

    I 100% agree, we love if you'll share any book your KH liked :)

    Ohh man please do share this list with me :)
     
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  10. GoodBoyID
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    Extra chores will probably be her favorite form of punishment after she'll read all of your great comments!
     
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  11. LockedPom
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    LockedPom Active member

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    It's somewhat debatable that Elise Sutton's writings are from a female.
     
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  12. Ms Maree
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    Ms Maree Domme,KH to Rodeo Cowboy & Chastie_MM
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    Would you both benefit from a punishment book? Only you as a couple will know. In it record misdemeanours and have her set the implements and amounts…..from hand spanking etc.
     
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  13. Aral
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    No it's not. Rasa von Werder said she met her also in person. Elise Sutton is a real woman.
     
  14. LockedPom
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    Yes she exists, but there has been much online discussion that her website has probably been managed by a guy for many years after she "retired".
     
  15. benseeking
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    Hi

    I am afraid that you and a lot of people here won't like to hear what I am about to say. But I am going to say it for your KH and your sakes (and for other's here). Whether you realise it or not, you are being very selfish. It's all about you and what you want. You are topping from the bottom. You are the one seeking control and to be in charge get her to do what you want.

    Clearly your KH doesn't want what you want. She actually feels guilty. She clearly wants to have fun. She is only playing along for your sake. You need to have a serious heart to heart and allow her the space to express what she wants instead of being so ***** selfish.

    I am sorry to be so hard on you. Most men are just like you. They just don't get it. It's not about us and what we want, it's all about what she wants whether we like it or not.
     
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  16. Pretty Monnica
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    Pretty Monnica 24/7365 chastized sissy in an FLR.

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    We go back and forth on this, and it can be a struggle for the Dominant. Because all of this, FLR, Chastity, D&S, BDSM, is done from a place of fun and not one of anything too serious.

    I don't know that I would change it. Call it what you might, but it's all fun to us, and I am good within that.
     
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  17. GoodBoyID
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    #17 GoodBoyID, Jul 20, 2021
    Last edited: Jul 20, 2021
    I am sorry to do it sharp like that . You are wrong.

    We have very good communication. We are only at the begining of our FLR and we try staff. I actually think that some of what you wrote can be true in general for some people but not in our case.

    You don't know us and you jumped to conclusion very fast. It is very common for a guy to introduce FLR and chastity to his partner and guilt in that case is also very common. My girlfriend love this dynamic and we are only looking (together!) for new ways for her to take control step by step.

    It is indeed very common to see topping from bottom I agree. At the begining, mybe but also since Introduced the dynamic to her and she wanted some guiding. Now it is totaly different we are expolring online together to see what suits us the most.

    Last thing to remember next time you write things like this, is that pepole make mistakes and do not appriciate condescending answers.

    P.S
    Pardon my english it s not native to me.
     
  18. Straponlover79
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    My wife is 95%vanilla but likes the dynamica for the last couple of months.
    At first she feld guilty if she does not gave me PIV or a full orgasm

    now she sees what orgasm control does with me qnd with hold me from a full orgasm.

    A couple of weeks ago she gave me a full orgasm and she feld that i lost a certain connection with her...
    That was 4 weeks ago....

    Now i only want to serve her be nice to her, give her back and foot rubs get coffe do house chores and off course hoing down on her with my mounth hand Fingers.
    Not a single orgasm since then and mabyni get a ruïnes one this or next week but a full Blown orgasm that can take a while i guess.

    I want to give you the tip: go to the vannilla forum here on CM there is a topic of nice reeds i think you can Find some things (websites and blogs) there that clarify alot for youre KH.

    And set you and youre KH much beter in the right direction
     
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  19. Straponlover79
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    This thread is what i wrote about

    https://www.chastitymansion.com/forums/index.php?threads/great-vanilla-read.41549/#post-468692
     
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  20. Aral
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    Aral New member

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    Oh, stupid men... Maybe some man is helping with the technical work, but the texs are from her. She just has very good texts. And if any woman writes good texts, also here are men what say - She is not a woman, because her texts are so good... And when she is verifies as a real woman, these men - "Wow, she is a woman..." :) Stupid men. :)
     
  21. 49MwmWifeDates
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    Very interesting topic here for discussion. Would be curious to get the list of 40 or so punishments
     
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  22. Bill249017
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    I love that idea. And I think you are right about showing submissive behaviour to your wife/partner to encourage them to become more dominant. I have started to bring my wife tea in bed in the mornings, myself naked and her clothes to show my submissive nature. I have also started to give her foot rubs, and seek her guidance more than I used to. A long journey, but one I have started in the hood she will become more comfortable ordered me about.
     
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  23. Bill249017
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    Agreed. I recognise the same changes you talk about. We have been going for only 3 weeks, but already we can both see the changes in my behaviour when I am denied orgasms. I am strangely liking thus- and amazingly deriving so much pleasure from giving her sexual pleasure and orgasms with my cock caged harmlessly out of the way; my sexual satisfaction is coming from loving her and her pussy even more, rather than squirting my cum inside her. Do others find that too? It is a revelation to me!
     
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  24. Straponlover79
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    We starten because i was masturbati g 1 or 2 a day and i have the desore of locking penis maybe for 25 years (from my mid teens).

    I was off in oure relation (we are married 5 years and toentertijd voor almost 13), cranky to helpfull and a lot of static in.my head for whatni Needed to do.

    Starten self locking back in 2012 but due to wrong cages and rings it never worden for me.
    With covid i starten to wander in the pornhubs came across lock the cock and vame to the conclusion i did it wrong
    Starten measuring and orderd on aliexpress a metal cage that fits the measurements in 2020.
    Again starten with self lockingnon days i did not stand up.or go to bed wigh the wife but she noticed some thing changed .
    After a periode of on and off self locking i had ghe confidence to make the talk and handed over the Keys.

    She is 95%vanilla but open minded. She did fuck me some times with a strapon and give me handjobs (that where much beter than Cumming from piv).

    The 5% kinky now sets in and is growing and sometimee i become a little scary of what i created.

    I get punhisments fo soing balkon my household chores.
    From give here a backmassage to deniel.

    I have bin deniald now for almost 4 weeks (the longest time ever since i knew i can masturbate).
    She even not let me eat her delightfull pussy .

    Last weekend she restraind me to the bed and give me tease and deniel session of.almost 4 hours (on and off) to think of my bad behavior in the house.

    She shoved a remote p-spot massager up.my ass and the magicwand on my penis.
    That night ihad blueballs......

    I made a list of what i want to experience and sometimes she do somethingnof that list....
    And sometimes she has somthing of her own...

    So give it some time and do what pleases her and Just wait what happens.

    And if she ignores you Just tell how ypu feel qnd let her de decided what to do.
     
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  25. Bill249017
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    Bill249017 Member

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    Wow! Sounds really good. I think she’s less than 95% vanilla if she has tried strap on with you, tied you up and teased you for 4 hours. I would live all those things, but need my wife to buy in.
    Like you I was masturbating too much, and I started to get interested in a Cage to try and stop that bad behaviour. Now been caged for over 16 days without orgasm- the longest I can recall! Looking forward to my wife wife getting interested in trying some of the things you have explored.
     
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