Hi, I have some experience with chastity, especially with the fact that I'm on my 4th device (Mature Metal Jailbird). My wife only tolerates this chastity though and I fear that she is too vanilla to go much further. She knows I want her to carry the key and also to fuck me with a strap-on. Baby steps towards all of that though. I really can't unpack what i REALLY want her to do just yet.
If you read your post again you might think there's a huge shift. First, you talk about chastity and het being a keyholder. That means her being in total charge and everything revolving around her needs. Then in the next sentence it's about you wanting her to use a strap-on. Let's be honest, that is all about your gratification, not hers. And then you talk about "what I REALLY want her to do". So forgive me for thinking you're just selfish.
You know what. You are 100% right. I desperately want her to cuckold me and fuck me with a strap-on but that is what I want. She isn't my key holder, I self lock but she is mostly tolerant. In terms of what I give her is 8+ oral orgasms each month and allow her shopping days, time away from the kids, make her endless cups of tea, do as much as I can to worship her. Truth is though that I am not sure what she really wants. This must be hard for her to have me lock myself away, despite all the pleasure and worship she gets. Definitely something to think about...
Welcome to our community. It is always easier to know what you want, or think you need, than your partner. But keep communicating and giving, like what's in your second message, and you might find a way to make both of you happier. Good luck.
Thanks MissyB. I get really anxious when it comes to talking to her though about any of this stuff. But... it has to be done.
Thanks madams-sissysub. This forum is a bit of a reality check, one I didn't realize I'd need. Other forums are very supportive of the behind closed doors fantasies about fetish. This place acknowledges the fact that hiding things is selfish and potentially harmful to relationships.