We are new to chastity, only about 5 months. I am a retired Marine and was the primary breadwinner for most of our lives together. I suppose i still am since most of the retirement income is from me. Still, when Kitten agreed to the chastity lifestyle I told her that I felt she should handle most of the household decisions, essentially making ours an FLR. For reasons I don't need to go into I have to maintain the finances so she can't be in total control. I am having a problem accepting a submissive posture in the rest of our relationship. Not for a lack of desire, just too many years as an Alpha male and old habits die hard. She has read a lot on chastity and FLR and agrees that my behavior has several times been deserving of discipline, including corporal punishment. The problem is she is hesitant to do it. She says she won't spank me because I want it to much and she thinks I like it. The one time she took a paddle to me she spent longer apologizing than the redness lasted. After seeing her reaction that one time, I think it is more a fear of hurting me. Twice she has had me locked onto a spanking bench at a club and walked away to leave me in the 'hands' of another woman. (Both times she was close by and watching out for my safety.) That was erotic but by no means what I am talking about. We have a contract and in the punishment clauses it specifies that she won't use belts, canes or crops because of the possibility of long term damage. I know that using a paddle, hair brush or a spatula poses the threat of some minor bruising but I would classify that as temporary pain not much worse that having a warm red ass. even though it might hurt a little longer. How do I convince her that inflicting temporary pain for the right reason is not the same as causing harm or injury?
Before we began our FLR and chastity, I had considerable BDSM experience and have delighted in CP at the hand of many a powerful Mistress for years. Mistress had no such experience and we had many conversations about Her reluctance to paddle or whip or otherwise punish me. During one such conversation, it came out that She has an old friend who is a Pro Dominatrix. She ended up discussing my situation with Her friend and that evolved to my being sent to the Pro for a CP session. I was excited to get to go, but soon learned that what they had discussed was by no means "Funishment". Mistress Ann, the Pro, videotaped the session and sent it to Mistress, who soon learned what CP was all about. I have now been back to MIstress Ann on 2 Occasions and the last time, Mistress went there with me and got to learn, at my expense and humiliation, how to administer CP effectively. She has since purchased some implements and begun to use CP as part of Her control over me. We discuss this a lot lately!
As has been said many times, "Be careful what you wish for!". When we first started Kitten had me keep a diary of my thoughts and feelings about being caged. It has since evolved into a journal where we write down our thoughts and responses to each other. Thanksgiving night I started an entry on this subject that didn't get finished until Friday afternoon. She hadn't read it until last night. Just before 11"00 PM last night I was watching TV in the living room when she came out, handed the book to me, and went back into the bedroom. Her half page response to me ended with, "Come to the bedroom & lock the door behind you. Yes - right now". When I got there I stripped off my shorts and got into bed on top of the covers. We talked for a while about my attitude and misbehavior as well as her reluctance to punish me for them. Thinking that was the end of it I started to get under the covers to go to sleep. I was stopped with, "What do you think you are doing? We have something to take care of." With that she pulled her spatula from under the covers on her side and I simply asked how she wanted me. She shifted so she was near the center of the bed and indicated I was to lay across her legs. We have an adjustable bed and the head was up in a sitting position. After having me move further down near her knees so I was at a comfortable arms length for her and the spatula she started through my recent behavior problems, punctuating each one with firm but not excessive slaps to my ass cheeks. When I thought she was finished I tried to get up only to be pushed back into position. She assaulted my ass with a flurry of hits of the spatula moving them around to make sure a large area was covered and turned red. Only when she put her spatula down and pulled my arm did I consider moving again. She hugged me and said that she was sorry she had to do that but that if my attitude and behavior didn't change for the better it would not be the last time. She kissed me and then offered to rub lotion on my ass. I thanked her for what she had just done to help me be better and told her I didn't want the lotion because going to sleep with the sting still there would leave a more lasting impression. Today she checked me and said there were still some faint heart shaped marks from the hole in the spatula. I don't know if this was enough to get her past the fear of hurting me or not, but it was a move in the right direction and I don't think she will be as hesitant to discipline me again.
I know how you feel @KittensProperty to have your lovely Wife discipline you and redden your backside to help make you a better person is Pure Love. MissShelly has been spanking me for over 25 years but it’s only in the last few that she’s taken control and disciplines me when she wants to. I wouldn’t want it any other way. I wear the marks on my backside with pride and tremendous respect for my Lovely Wife and Mistress. Your Kitten is a very special Lady treat her well and enjoy the marks of love she gives you.
I know this sounds weird, but write her a thank you note for the punishment. Better yet get a thank you card and some flowers and put your note in the card. Tell her you're grateful for her efforts to help you be a better husband. Thank her for stepping outside her comfort zone to help you on the journey. Assure her she has nothing to apologize for and if you're a real sadist close with I barely felt anything anyway. Just joking on the last one, but serious on the rest.