I was a total novice to a FLR when it was first mentioned to me by my sub. I only knew of the type of dominant women you see in porn, and that's not me. However, after reading as much as I could find and talking to other dominant women I soon figured out that this lifestyle seemed perfect for me. The control is what I've always needed in my life. He is locked in chastity unless I want him which is less now because I have found many other ways of gaining pleasure. I do like to reward him to though so unlock him then for an O. The feeling of control during teasing him when he's wearing the cage is immense. I punish him when required and this too brings me that control feeling. Something I thought I would never be able to do to the man I love but wow does it work! Living like this satisfies every want and need.
Great that you see advantages in that lifestyle. I'm curious about the FLR just not sure how far I would be interested in going.
We did not know how far we wanted it to develop either, but we allowed it to grow in whichever directions felt right. It is still evolving as we find out more about our shared and individual needs.
Think the best way to approach it would be to do the part you like from the lifestyle and exclude the rest. Sometimes when you read about these topics there are areas that aren't very appealing to myself like cuckold since I like the closeness in the relationship even if I get turned on by the fact she is in control and when she reminds me. In my opinion, I think each couple should tailor it to their own needs so let's say if in FLR it says the women need to control finances if it is not an important way to do such things. But maybe in more subtle way as she decides what to buy or what he needs to wear and so on.
I completely agree John, and that is what we have done, and continue to do. Each FLR couple finds there own mix and balance within the relationship.
Indeed just think all the "rules" scares many away from it. Most important is the chastity then it's easy to be in control. Since we men can think straight when we get excited.
Another great thread, And agree with all said, it is to each there own with how you progress. I myself was in a committed 24/7 Bdsm relationship with my madam after around 18 months of us being together, and it went from there, it was madams idea to start chastity, and here decision to make it 24/7. madam is in control of of all aspects of our relationship. She controls the money but I handle the finances, ( pay the bills ect ) as madam has better things to be doing. We have one eBay and amazon account across our phones and laptops, all in my name, and madam orders what she wants when she wants. I have to ask permission before buying myself things. My cards live in madams purse until last we go out, then they are returned, this is simply so I can handle the transactions so madam doesn’t have to be bothered. The only thing I don’t have to ask permission for is refuelling the car, I have an app for our local garage set to a preset amount, so I can just scan it at the till, and not have to bother my owner with the mundane things she has no interest in. Madam also chooses what I wear and when. All I want is to please madam and make her happy.
I love that you looked into it and asked other dominant women in the lifestyle then worked closely with your sub in finding the perfect balance. As you stated most doms you see in porn and there are quite a few out there in real life that act that way. I happy that it has enhanced your relationship and not ruined it. All the best too you.
Communication is what it's all about. We both understand that She is in control, but we often discuss each other's likes and dislikes and have easily adjusted to take full advantage of each other's part of the FLR. We both love it!
Porn distorts the reality of a D/s or FLR, I have found this book helpful for developing a deeper level of submission, it lets the couple choose together what initial areas to give up control on and leaves open deepening the areas of submission, if your not sure how far to go and wish some control initialy in the relationship, you can start gently and increase to other areas of your life over time. The various sections will give a lot of ideas for the couple to discuss. https://www.amazon.co.uk/Dominant-W...=1499194464&sr=1-26&keywords=Mistress+Jessica What you will find that follows this introduction is a set of rules and information that you can adhere to in your Dominant / submissive relationship or not. If you purchased the actual book rather then the E-book, you will find each page has the rule listed and a check box for “Yes” and “No” so that you may start off slowly implementing new rules when either an infraction of that particular rule is encountered and needs to be dealt with by agreeing to adhere to the new rule, or say when the submissive has to many minor infractions and because of that a new rule needs be added to the submissive list of rules they will need to adhere to. Kind of like you do something bad then you have a new rule in your life. It can be quite a lot of fun, just sitting down and reading a rule and each time a new rule is added the submissive life can change dramatically because of it. How you implement the rules or not, is entirely up to you, these are just guidelines, things that we have found have been fun and work well in our relationship, feel free to alter or change a rule to fit your own situations.We have even included a number of pages for you to add your own specific rules that you may have that is not included in our own rules. What you have in the end is pretty much an owner’s manual for your submissive husband, what better fun can there be for a submissive husband to know that in his house is a book of rules that he must follow else he may be punished by his Dominant wife. I personally like to leave the book lying around the house just so my submissive husband can see it and know that it is there.