Caged Wolf? How an Alpha became the Omega...

Got the plan today, surgery on 18th, 2 weeks of doing nothing, 4-6 more of 4-6 pound limit. guessing it's going to be around 1 June before anything happens again with Mistress Wolf.

So unhappy and disappointed in myself. i know i didn't hurt myself on purpose, but still, not a very good steward of Mistress Wolf's property.

 

I'm trying to keep things in perspective, it's difficult, but I'm doing okay I guess. to be honest, i'm not even stressing about the sexual part. it is what it is. Right now i could still be of use to Mistress Wolf, but She has the crud (spring cold) right now, so is not interested.

Knowing how much i will not be able to do once i have the surgery makes it daunting... even things like doing laundry, making the bed, or loading/unloading the dishwasher will be off limits for a while. That means either Mistress or Little One will have to do my chores for me.

The worse part is knowing that i have to follow the limits the doctors give if i am to heal... but Mistress Wolf will be there supervising and keeping me in line!

 

Mistress Wolf is still getting over Her cold, as is Little One. Both are feeling better but still coughing a lot. i am working hard (well, as hard as possible) trying to get some things done and taken care of before next Monday. Work is rough, and by the time I get home I'm pretty wiped out. As of yesterday no energy drinks, no pain meds except Tylenol, no vitamin's, supplements, etc. almost like a detox. I'm missing my morning Advocare Spark....

Need to strip the beds and wash linen today, normally a 1st of the month thing, but... i just keep tryig to thing of the things that i have been putting off that i can finish this week.

Mistress Wolf is there for me, i know i am not going into this alone.It will not be easy on any of us, but we will get through and be stronger and healthier for it. When we come out the other side things will get back to normal, and life will go on.

 

Thanks all, Yes, Glad Mistress Wolf is watching over things and being supportive. It's been a rough month, after a rough year. Was hoping things would settle down a little, but i guess there is something i need to learn still.

Also thinking that with the "time off" while I heal, it might be prime time to focus on finding a new job that is less demanding of my health. . Already have one app sent.

 

Lunch with Mistress Wolf today, asked if there was anything else i could do for her, hinted at bedroom fun. She replied "Very tempted, but what if I cough or sneeze on you in the middle of things?"

Love @Mistress Wolf, the fact She is thinking of my health, to keep me from getting sick before surgery Monday, she is willing to go without pleasure. i will have to work very hard to make this time up to Her!

 

Spent the day yesterday helping a friend with his project, then home for a quick shower and off to the Spring Fair... Lots of walking, did okay for the most part, sore by the time we headed home. Woke up at 4 this am with stomach pain, have been in the bathroom several times, feeling better, but now cold and can't get warmed up. Lots to do today, going to have to push it as far as I can to get things done before I can't do anything.

Still hoping to be allowed to pleasure Mistress Wolf before surgery tomorrow, but if not then I am okay with that, if it is what She feels is best. i know this has been a difficult month and a half for Her between being sick and my health issues...

 

Yes, Surgery Monday morning... trying to get as much done as i can without really hurting myself, but definitely going beyond where I should...
Helped my buddy on his project again for a couple of hours, rode the motorcycle to his house and home again, 2 loads of laundry done, folded and put away, one in the dryer, one more in the washer. Sat with Mistress Wolf for a while after dinner (hamburgers on the BBQ), then mowed about 1/3 of the yard to keep it presentable for a while at least (have an acre inside the fence), and raked up the twigs and pine cones in the driveway.

Was kind of hoping for some playtime tonight, but Mistress Wolf is watching one of Her shows, and i need to get a shower then wipe down with the first antiseptic prep before bed. Odds are not in my favor and going away fast. Will be several weeks before i am allowed to do anything after surgery, so maybe by mid-May, if i'm good.

In the morning i need to do the final antiseptic prep wipe, get dressed, wake Little One and Mistress Wolf and be out the door before 7 to drop Little One at school before driving to the hospital, have to be there by 7:30... Just hope i sleep better tonight than last, but if not i'll get some rest when they knock me out... lol

Probably won't have time to check in in the morning, but will post something as soon as i am able to get to the computer.

 

Thanks all, was a little rough yesterday after surgery, but feeling better today. It is going to be a longish recovery as they did mesh implant repair. i am able to get up and down, moving around pretty well, but was up at 4 am this morning as I couldn't sleep anymore after sleeping most of the day yesterday.

Wanted to give a huge thank you and love you to @Mistress Wolf, she was by my side until they wheeled me off to the OR, then again as soon as I rolled into recovery. Having Her there by my side was so comforting, but made me feel so bad for having to be there in the first place. i need to learn to be a better steward of Her property...

Think one of the hardest parts of the whole thing was having my collar removed Sunday night and not having the reassurance of being able to touch it to remind myself of what is important. Was so glad when Mistress Wolf re-collared me yesterday evening.

 

At about a week post-op now... getting around better, able to do a little, have been helping with laundry and kitchen/dishes, but Mistress Wolf has also told me "Go lie down for a bit" several times when She sees that i am getting tired or uncomfortable. She is watching me like a hawk (or a Mistress) to make sure i don't do something i shouldn't yet, and is holding me accountable but also asking more often how i am doing/feeling.

on a more humorous note, i can honestly say i am hung like a small Zebra right now... had a little internal bleeding/bruising, and the skin on my shaft and a portion of the sac turned purple, but anywhere there was a fold or crease in the skin it didn't bruise, so now i have very obvious Zebra stripes.. Told Mistress Wolf, and had to show Her... She had a good snicker

Life is good, have friends checking on me, bored out of my mind already, but understand i need to heal... Life will go on.

 

Went in today for a short followup at one week post surgery, and everything is going very well. Was warned again about "overdoing it", but also told it was okay to resume intimate relations with Mistress Wolf, as long as i am not the "thrusting" partner... Hopeful that something may happen soon....

Was told i did not need to go back for the 2 week check either!

 

Talked with Mistress Wolf last night, started by apologizing for being annoying yesterday afternoon, was continually hinting about "nakee fun time". i was hoping after a month and a half She would be interested, but i was wrong as nothing happened. When i apologized Her reply was "I'd like to, but I don't want to hurt you..".

i really do understand, and am proud to have a Mistress who truly cares, but there are things i can do for Her pleasure that would not put me in a position to get hurt... i am at a point that i don't care whether i am allowed to enter Her, or whether i am allowed any O at all. i just want to be intimate again, to touch, to feel Her enjoyment, to kiss Her body and taste Her again.

i feel so bad right now for the situations i have put Her through this past 2 months, 3 medical issues could have been avoided had i taken better care of Her property, or even just being more careful at work would have avoided 2 of them. i am frustrated by my own over-zealousness, my need to push and just get things done, and am paying for it now in my inability to do much of anything. i just want to be healthy and to be there for Her.

i am healing, but it will be at least a month before i am released back to unrestricted work/life, so i stay home, do laundry, pick up the kitchen. i mowed the yard Tuesday (on the riding mower except for a little touch-up) and even vacuumed the house for the first time since surgery yesterday, but certain movement causes a twinge of pain, and lifting anything over 5 pounds is definitely still out of bounds.

Frustrating, frustrated..... then woke up this morning at 2:30 with a severe migraine, tried to sleep it off, but it got bad enough i had to take an Excedrin Migraine, which has a huge dose of caffeine, so by 3:30 i was wide awake even before the pill took effect. Feeling better now (at 5:40), but it is going to be a long day....

 

I know, but thank you @Jasmic68 . It just seems like everything has been against me the last couple of months.... It is a learning situation too, though. Having to step back and follow the rules (very tight, restrictive rules) has been a good reminder of my position.

 

@ weeks today since my surgery, a week since the DR cleared me to return to intimacy with restrictions. Still doing without.... Thought thigs might go that way last night, but no. got fondled, touched a couple of times.

Mistress Wolf is stressed right now, i know. Between my health, Her college work, and then finding out last week that the current class is the last requirement for Her to graduate, it has put additional pressure on Her to pass. i have full confidence in Her ability to do so, but it is going to be a lot of work and remain stressful until She is done.

We did have a great weekend, went away for a while, attended some races with good friends, stayed overnight in that area then had a great breakfast with them before heading home yesterday. We all needed a break, the weather was perfect, etc. The friends were 2 couples from the Social Club we were members of, all of us have stepped away from the Club due to some recent changes that altered the whole environment there. We are talking with one of the other couples about a date night in the near future, too!

 

Sorry that should have been 2 weeks since surgery... not @..