An uphill struggle

Sorry, if that sounded blunt, but only when you know why she’s closed those doors will you ever have the understanding to open them again.
Not to put sex on the table, but to take it away as an issue that doesn’t cause resentment.

 

I agree with IB-Chaste here. But it also sounds like you are doing the right things. It's difficult to know what people are thinking/feeling. Even if you are their spouse, sometimes that info is blocked. She doesn't seem interested in the cage though. You mentioned she said, "This isn't another cage, is it". That would be the kind of comment I'd make if I was dismissing what someone was doing. and if she is dismissing it, it won't bring you intimacy. It doesn't matter how much you want it to or hope that it will. I just don't think she wants to take control. Perhaps you don't want to take control either, but I do suggest meeting her where she's at. It is so much easier than trying to get someone over to where you're at. Perhaps after that, she might warm up to some of your wishes, but right now, I don't think that's going to happen. And taking your own path, isn't going to get you guys closer.

I know it's not this simple. This is just a what-if. Go with traditional. Buy her flowers for Valentines day. A nice card, don't mention anything about chastity, cages, or even sex for that matter. Just her and you as a couple. If you are a good cook, cook something fabulous. Otherwise, take her out to a nice dinner. Does she like to dance. If so, take her dancing. Don't come on strong. Don't push for sex. If she says, "you just doing this because you want some" say, absolutely not. You're doing this simply to acknowledge her and how you feel for her. Be totally mr. nice guy. Open doors. Smile, look her in the eyes. A lot. At the end of the night, tuck her into bed. Kiss her on the cheek and tell her you love her. Nothing more. If you do this, over and over and over. No pressure, no expectations, almost every woman will melt a little. Deep down, (sorry to over generalize), but almost all women want this. To them, that is intimacy. For you, learn to love to give it. You may find you prefer it over everything else, even sex. I know, I don't know your wife or you or how any of this would work. But I'm pretty sure it would work better than asking her to take control.

 

I know we have talked before but I just want you to know that I feel you in everything you are saying here.

 

Thanks for sharing the updates!

 

well you cud ask Her polite and say please do You still want me and love me please.

 

I'm the author of Devotional Sex, and have just joined this forum today.

My website is free to view, and contains no advertising. So I assure you that I can't afford to pay anyone to visit my website.

@knightly may well be a Devotional Sex Forum member. But as he doesn't use that name on my forum I don't know who he is.

Where Devotional Sex is relevant to this forum is for couples where he is keen on chastity but his partner doesn't like the cage and the chastity dynamic. Devotional Sex may be something which she does like and though it will give him a different dynamic from chastity, he may find that DevS which she enjoys works much better for him than trying to get her to do chastity.