An introduction / slut d's journal

Hi everyone! I’m slut d, and although I’ve been lurking around here for a few weeks now, this is my first post! My girlfriend/keyholder, Goddess B, and I have been together 3 years now, and have just begun to experiment with chastity in the last month or so. I think it’s fair to say we’ve been enjoying ourselves so far (particularly her!), but since we’re newbies in need of a little guidance we decided to purchase Lucy Fairbourne’s book for Goddess to read through. This afternoon she decided that I needed to start a chastity journal, and since I’d skimmed through some of those posted here, I thought this would be as good a place as any to keep mine.

A bit about our backgrounds:

My background in kink goes all the way back to puberty, when I had an unconventional first orgasm to say the least. Remember those pens that wiggled when you wrote, resulting in wavy penmanship? Well let’s just say I discovered I enjoyed the vibration, and one day secured the pen to myself and wrapped myself in a futon mattress (partially to muffle the noise, and partially to increase the pressure/vibration). Within a few minutes, I began to feel waves of pleasure rush over me, and soon thereafter I came as I struggled against the mattress. I certainly didn’t understand the kinkiness of what I’d done at the time, and after that night I began to masturbate in a more traditional manner. It wasn’t until years later that I stumbled upon a BDSM website and everything (to be cliché) just fell into place. My kinks have been evolving ever since.

Goddess B, I think it’s fair to say, was pretty vanilla when we met. She enjoyed sex, no doubt, but BDSM was foreign to her and she was somewhat intimidated to learn of some of my kinks. As our relationship has developed, she’s become comfortable with a lot of things, and it seems chastity play in particular has really clicked with her. She seems to love the fact that she can now get the romantic, doting boyfriend of our first months anytime she desires. And while I think I may annoy her at times with my pent-up horniness, she certainly loves all the massages, bubble baths, and other services she has me providing! I’m not sure whether she’ll choose to post here or not, but she’ll certainly be reading, and I’m sure she’d enjoy the input of some of the other Goddesses in the forum!

I think that’s all for now, but in the next few days I hope to share the details of our first experiences with chastity!

 

Today’s a relatively low-key day, so I thought I might post again and tell the story of our introduction to chastity.

I first proposed the idea of chastity to Goddess B about a year and a half ago. I was on vacation, visiting a friend out of state, while Goddess stayed home. We communicated daily via text and instant messaging, and as usually happens when we’re apart for an extended period of time, the conversations often turned sexual in nature. Eventually, I was asked why our sex drives seemed to peak when we were apart. While I didn’t have an immediate answer, the question stuck with me throughout the night and the following day.

As I thought about it, I began to feel guilty. Here I had this kind, intelligent, gorgeous woman at home that drove me crazy when we were apart, but that I had an inconsistent desire for when we were physically together. I knew the problem was on my end, and while I had often blamed my weak libido on stress, I knew that wasn’t the whole reason. I confessed to Goddess B that I had a habit of masturbating on average a couple times a week after she had gone to bed, which absolutely blindsided her. I explained the concept of chastity—that my cock would be locked away and under her control—but I think the suddenness of the conversation was too overwhelming for her. We didn’t discuss chastity again until I was back in town, and even then I think we both wanted to forget the conversation had happened.

I began masturbating much less frequently, and my libido returned to a relatively normal level. We still went through occasional lulls, but overall our sex life was improved. Goddess knew it was unlikely that I would stop masturbating entirely, so in attempt to encourage me (I think), she even suggested we watch some of the kink.com updates I liked together in bed. After some initial hesitation, she began to enjoy them, and now says they give her extra ideas and confidence when she dominates me in the bedroom. Yes!

Flash forward to about a month ago. Goddess was the one out of town this time, and again we revisited the fact that our sex drives peaked when we were apart. Playfully (and much more subtly), I brought up the idea of chastity again, suggesting it could be possible for us to capture some of the electricity in that way. I sent her some more information, including excerpts from a few femdom books, and this time she was sold. We agreed to a trial period, after which we would discuss whether we wanted to continue or not. I was scared, excited, and anxious all at once.

The next day, I was sent to a local kink-friendly boutique to pick up a CB-6000. I admitted to Goddess B that I was nervous about going in to purchase a CB, and much to my surprise, she told me to suck it up and do as I was told. From that moment, I could tell she was going to enjoy the power trip of chastity! I called the store in advance to ask if they had a CB-6000 in stock and asked them to put one aside. When I arrived, I headed straight to the checkout counter, provided my name, and handed over my credit card. I was a bundle of nerves, and I’m sure it showed to the clerk. I was in and out in less than two minutes, and promptly headed home.

I texted Goddess when I got home to let her know of the purchase, and she demanded I put it on immediately. After a quick scan of the directions, I attempted to put it on, but was of course prevented from doing so by a raging erection. I informed Goddess of my dilemma, and she agreed to allow me one last release before she returned—provided I swallowed all of my cum afterwards! I did as told, and even made a video of the spectacle in case Goddess required proof. After fiddling with the device for about 20 minutes, I found a suitable combination of rings and spacers and sent a picture message off to Goddess. She told me she was pleased to see my cock straining against the cage already, and that she couldn’t wait to be holding my key...

The next few days were a blur. I received flirtatious text and picture messages several times a day, and even the minimal amount of contact with Goddess was enough to keep my mind racing. I spent a fair amount of time making adjustments to the device over those days, and while I was allowed to remove the device for showering and sleeping, I spent the rest of my days with it on. Needless to say, I couldn't WAIT for Goddess' return.


To be continued with Goddess’ arrival home and my first release…

 

Goddess' flight was scheduled to land sometime in the afternoon, and I was to be waiting outside the terminal with an iced chai tea latte in hand when she arrived. After waiting for what seemed like an eternity, I saw her walking up the terminal, and we shared a loving, knowing glance. We embraced, and she pressed her body against mine to feel the hard plastic cage between my legs. We got her baggage and headed to the parking structure, both eager to get home. Before we began the drive, though, I pulled down my shorts and boxers to give her a look at our newest toy. She gave me a smirk and giggled, tapping gently on the cage I was now filling to capacity. I handed over a wrapped package, which she opened to find a necklace with the keys to the lock.

When we got home, she was eager to exploit my desparation. She collapsed on the couch, kicked her sandals off, and dangled her feet over the edge of the couch, implying that it was time for me to get to work. Obediently, I got on my knees and began massaging her beautiful feet. It was strange to me, as I have never considered myself to have a foot fetish, but after 3-4 days of being locked up and teased, even the scent of her feet had me dripping precum from the end of my cage. The next hour or so continued in the same fashion, as I provided any service requested of me (fetching drinks and snacks, full body massage, nail painting, etc.).

Eventually, Goddess led me into the bedroom and stripped down before me. She pulled me in close to her, and rubbed the tip of my cage against her warm, wet pussy. She knew I was loving it- perhaps a bit too much- so she sent me into the closet to fetch the G-force (a curved, black dildo with a handle). At this point, my balls were aching, but she showed no mercy. She pulled me by the hair and forced my head between her legs. The force was unnecessary; I was more than willing to oblige.

I'm not sure whether it was the time spent away from her or her own pent-up horniness, but she was more fragrant on that night than I could ever recall her being. Inhaling deeply between licks, I went wild, licking frantically from her clit to her rosebud and everywhere in between. After a healthy dose of oral, she grabbed the Hitachi from underneath the bed and brushed me aside. As she held the Hitachi against her clit, I was charged with using the G-force on her. She had a sadistic look in her eyes all the while, as if to say, "Yes, honey, you're being replaced by a big, black cock. Deal with it, and just hope it's not permanent." Within minutes, she clenched her muscles and let a massive orgasm rush over her.

After a short recovery period, Goddess headed into the closet, and emerged donning the strap-on harness and dildo. She took a moment to place a pillow underneath my hips before sliding the entire length of the dildo inside me. As she began thrusting, she placed a hand around my neck, lightly restricting my breathing. We've had many experiences with strap-on play before, but being locked in chastity added a new dimension. Ordinarily, she strokes me to orgasm while fucking me, but this time she gave no indication that I would be freed. She went on for about 15 minutes, hitting my prostate with every thrust, making me wonder if I would have any cum left even if she did allow me an orgasm. She didn't.

Goddess left the room for awhile, and I was told to wait on the bed patiently for her to return. A bit sore from the pounding and becoming increasingly frustrated, I was content to relax under the covers. During that time, I attempted to divert my thoughts, mentally preparing myself in case she denied me orgasm. Goddess returned in about 10 minutes, informing me that I would be allowed to cum provided I followed her conditions. Condition #1 was that I would not cum until she had enjoyed another orgasm (naturally!). Condition #2 was that the action would occur in her favorite spooning-style position.

Normally, I struggle to get turned on for "vanilla" sex without any elements of kink, but in this instance I was rock hard and ecstatic that I would be allowed to cum at all. She removed her necklace (what a beautiful sight!) and opened the lock on the chastity device, freeing me at last. As I entered her for the first time in almost a week, I nearly came prematurely. The warmth and wetness of her pussy drove me crazy, and it took all of my concentration to avoid disappointing her. I worked up a slow (cautious) rhythm and she grabbed the Hitachi once again. Holding it against her clit, I could feel the strong vibrations even inside her, which nearly drove me over the edge again. Minutes later, I felt her tense up, and knew she was close. Finally, her muscles contracted around my cock, practically forcing me out of her, and she began screaming in ecstasy. Within seconds of her orgasm, I let loose one of my own, and how sweet it was. Spurt after spurt of cum filled her up, and I hoped and prayed it would never end. It was a toe-curling, body-shaking, knock-you-out kind of orgasm; without a doubt the strongest orgasm I've ever had, and certainly the most memorable. We collapsed together, and didn't move an inch for a good 20 minutes.

After days of frustration, I'd never been happier, and I think she felt the same. After that experience, we both knew our relationship would never be the same.

 

Thanks! We've only been able to play off and on for the last month or so, but we're determined to get back into it now that our lives have settled down a bit. I'm eager to get back into the submissive mindset and she's eager to be worshiped and pampered! We had a great night last night, and I'm locked up now, so I hope to post a little more often.

 

Well that was quick!

After two days locked up, Goddess surprised me yesterday and allowed me a release. I was shocked to say the least.

After giving her a healthy dose of oral, I fully expected to be required to finger her to orgasm while she used her Hitachi. Instead, she unlocked me and told me I would be allowed to enter her (and cum!) provided I could cum at the exact moment she did. I'm ashamed to say that after only a few minutes I came without her. I tried to fight the orgasm the whole way, and as a result it was much weaker and less satisfying than usual. Normally I have fairly good self-control, but when I've been locked up I just become uber-sensitive. It's kind of humiliating, actually. We didn't discuss a punishment on the spot (other than that I would be locked back up until later in the week) but I could tell she was disappointed.

Earlier in the day, she made a comment to the effect of, "You know, you just seem to enjoy all of our punishments." She's right; most pain is a turn on (as is strap-on/anal play) and excessive teasing and denial just turns me into an annoying ass-kisser. So I'll attempt to jot some "real" punishment ideas down here (which I'll no doubt regret in the near future):

- Being forced to consume my own cum (the thought turns me on immensely, but the desire disappears the second I actually cum)
- Immediate lockup after orgasm (I go through a lull after orgasm in which I revert to non-submissive tendencies)
- Ruined orgasms (Any Goddess'/Mistress' here willing to teach her some techniques?)
- Heavy cock/ball punishment (Maybe I'll pick up some IcyHot for her to use...)

Anyone care to weigh in?

 

A thread on ruined orgasms for Goddess...

http://www.chastitymansion.com/forum/index.php?/topic/3596-ruined-orgasms/

 

Goddess B returned last night after a couple days out of town, and decided to dole out punishment for my failure on Sunday. I had done some searching around the web while she was gone, and had found two "Barefoot Princess" videos which involved ruined orgasms; one in which she continued to stroke the slave's cock long after orgasm, and one in which she stopped his spurt with a tight grip, ultimately reducing his orgasm to a slow, pathetic dribble. I showed these to Goddess, and she seemed quite intrigued.

I tried to butter her up, preparing dinner (honey chicken stirfry, yum!) and spending most of the evening at her feet, massaging and worshiping them. I even picked up her favorite ice cream from a local joint. While these thoughts were appreciated, they didn't get me off the hook for Sunday.

She began by cuffing my wrists to the bed posts, and spreading my legs open with a spreader bar. Goddess then proceeded to give my balls a series of slaps unlike anything she's ever done before. In the past she's shown concern about physically hurting me, but I think it's safe to say those days are gone; she's becoming quite the sadist. Craving pleasure, she pulled out her Hitachi and had me rim her to orgasm, certainly one of my favorite ways to make her cum.

As she recovered from her orgasm, she released me from my cage and applied a small amount of IcyHot to my balls. Looking me dead in the eyes, she sternly said, "You're going to tell me exactly when you're going to cum, and I'm going to ruin your orgasm." Wow. Words just can't describe what hearing that for the first time is like. She began stroking me, and placed one of her feet under my chin to prevent me from watching the action/squirming around. Before long I was getting close. I told her at the exact moment I was about to cum, and she immediately death-gripped my cock, stopping the orgasm in its tracks. I leaked a tiny amount, and told her that I hadn't cum. By this time, my balls were getting quite "Icy", but the "Hot" had not set in. She brought me to the edge again, and this time her grip must not have been as tight; I came with an absurd amount of force, spraying cum on my own face, her foot, and the wall behind the bed. Needless to say, that was not what Goddess had planned.

She released me from the restraints and allowed me to go to the bathroom to clean up. As I kneeled in the tub with warm water running over my balls, she placed her foot on the edge of the tub and ordered me to lick the cum off her foot. For the first time, I did so without any hesitation, licking anywhere Goddess pointed. I feel like her direction played a big role in my lack of hesitation; I wasn't left to decide where to lick or when to stop, I was simply following her orders. I'm not sure if it was the forced cum eating or the circumstances of the orgasm, but afterwards I was still very eager to submit to her.

I love you, Goddess, and I fear the day when you master the ruined orgasm!

 

Goddess and I went for a nice workout this morning, after which she allowed me to pleasure her. To start, she smothered me with her sweaty ass (yum!) while using the Hitachi and taking a few swats at my balls. When that wasn't doing it for her, she decided to allow me inside her, provided I didn't have any more "accidents." After promising to pull out if I got anywhere close to orgasm, I had the honor of slowly thrusting until she reached orgasm. It felt fantastic and I was really hoping she'd let me cum (I even promised I'd lick her clean), but she denied me without hesitation. Argh.

Frustration is even making its way into my dreams; I dreamt last night that Goddess shared the details of our arrangement with one of her friends, and had me strip down to prove it. After a bunch of curious questions and poking and prodding, I was put to work serving them drinks while they got ready to go out without me. Double argh.

On a non-frustrated note, I think I'm starting to get used to sleeping with the CB6000. I do wake up with erections once or twice a night, but my balls haven't been as sore as they did to begin with. Wearing the CB in public is becoming easier too, after a week straight. I'm still self-conscious about what I perceive to be a bigger bulge in my pants, but I'm sure it's not noticeable to the rest of the world. How ironic would it be if the bulge did start to draw attention, though?

 

Thanks, Mike! I'm not sure I'll ever forget about the hunk of plastic between my thighs, but I could definitely see myself getting used to public wear!

 

Thanks for the compliment and insight pp, I will certainly keep you updated! Goddess says this whole experience is even more enjoyable for her because she can read about it and recall things, so I won't stop posting anytime soon.

 

Spent the night at Goddess' feet again, worshiping, massaging, and fetching drinks & snacks while she watched TV. She was kind enough to give me a treat to help pass the time; a thong to sniff at. Did some dishes as well; I'm really enjoying being her little maid/servant. She acknowledged that she didn't expect me to do everything in terms of chores, and we worked a compromise whereby I'll write things I'd like her to do on a whiteboard in the kitchen. That way, I don't have to break out of my submissive role and resentment doesn't build up either. It was the best we could come up with at the moment, but if anyone would like to share what works for them, please do.

She also sprung some protocol on me that really caught me off guard; from now on, I will be expected to bow anytime I bring something to her. Building on the protocol theme, I suggested that when I'm near her I should be physically below her unless she demands otherwise; that is, if she's standing, I'm kneeling, if she's sitting, I'm on the ground. Finally, she demanded that I stop begging to cum. Her logic? I come off as ungrateful and needy, the fact that I beg has no influence on her, and she already knows that I'd like to cum anyways. In essence, they're wasted words and they annoy her. She didn't decide on a punishment for asking, but suggested that it would likely mean additional lock up time before I would be considered 'eligible' for an orgasm. I'm eager to see what else she comes up with and to be molded to her liking.

Before bed, she told me I would be rewarded for being such a good boy tonight. The reward? I'm allowed to sleep without the cage tonight. Not quite what I was hoping for.

 

I'm not sure who brought it up, but at some point yesterday Goddess and I got on the topic of having me eat/drink out of a doggie dish to amuse her. I had dinner commitments, but sure enough, when I got home late last night she'd been to a local pet store and had picked up little pink doggie dishes. She poured me some water and broke a piece of bread into bite sized pieces, and then told me to dig in (using no hands, obviously). Really degrading (so naturally I found it to be a huge turn on).

Later on, she decided to allow me to cum since I'd been very obedient all week. I had to think of 3 ways to cum on the spot, and came up with inside her, on her ass, or in my new doggie dish. I'm sure you can guess which she chose (check my gallery for the pictures). She was originally planning to stroke me to orgasm, but decided it would be more fun to take pictures instead, so she took pics and giggled while I stroked myself to orgasm. I had to clean the dish up afterwards, and Goddess made sure I got the bowl fairly clean. I was certainly more reluctant this time than last; there was a LOT of cum in that dish.

On a random note, I'm not sure how some of you go weeks or months without an orgasm. At this point, I don't think I desire anything long term like that; I'm perfectly content being locked up most of the time and allowed to cum only at Goddess' will. That said, it wouldn't surprise me if she started testing my limits a bit more. :unsure:

 

Been a few days. Sunday was pretty incredible; I was allowed inside Goddess twice and was allowed to cum both times (after she'd reached orgasm, of course)! For the first time, Goddess made me clean her up afterwards, and after my second orgasm she was particularly forceful. She held my head between her legs, instructing me to lick her from asshole to clit, and didn't allow me to stop until she was fully satisfied that my cum was cleaned up. She knew it was difficult for me to do, and I'm pretty sure she loved making me do it.

Needless to say I haven't been super horny (or locked up) since, and Goddess has been feeling sick, so perhaps that's not a bad thing. Of course, part of the reason I haven't been locked up is that we've needed to do laundry and I haven't had clean boxer briefs to wear out in public. On the subject, does anyone know where to get pink boxer briefs? I know the brand Diesel makes them, but they're $$$.

Anyways, hopefully I'll be locked back up as the week progresses. Next week is looking awfully busy...

 

Wow, it's been awhile.

I guess you could say life has gotten in the way over the past few months, as we've both been extremely busy and stressed out.

That said, I'm happy to say we've resumed our activities in the past week or so. It happened kind of on a whim; Goddess came into bed after I was basically asleep, and in my dream-like state, I got close to her and started trying to turn her on. After going down on her and bringing her to orgasm with the help of her Hitachi, I mentioned how much I missed being locked up and under her control. She didn't need to be sold on the idea; she denied me orgasm on the spot, and the next day I was locked up for the duration of the weekend.

Better yet, she came up with a new system for deciding when to allow me to cum. It's a reward/punishment system of sorts, where I can earn points for things that she wants to encourage, or lose points for undesired behaviors. For example:
-A massage is worth up to 5 points, depending on length and enthusiasm
-Working out: up to 2 points
-Making her cum: up to 3 points
-Obedience: up to 2 points
-Cumming without permission: -200 points
-Complaining: -1 to -7
-Begging: -1 to -5
And so on down the list...

In discussing the system, I had mentioned that I'd enjoy it if she were a little stricter with me, which I'm now (kind of) regretting. She decided that I would need to earn 100 points to be eligible for an orgasm. (What that means, I guess I'll find out.) We're on the 5th day currently, and so far I've amassed about 50 points, after losing 10 for shooting a bit of pre-cum during one of our tease sessions. In our experimentation so far, I think the longest she's had me locked up is about 5 days, and I'm only halfway to the 100 point total! In the meantime, she's been cumming so much the past few days that she's actually having trouble achieving orgasms.

Anyways, I think one of her biggest gripes with chastity is that it makes me so incredible sensitive that my cock is basically useless for penetration. Well, was useless; tonight we tried out Lanacane coupled with two condoms, and let me tell you, I'm in trouble now. I felt just enough to be stimulated and stay hard, but nowhere near enough to reach orgasm. Even if I had been able, the penalty for cumming without permission could mean anywhere from 3 weeks to a month of denial for me. I can't even imagine how much of a wreck I'd be after that long...

That's all for now, but I hope to post more often in the days (weeks? months? years?) to come!

 

The day after my last post, Goddess decided to give me a release. She had me handcuffed to the headboard, my legs spread apart with a spreader bar, and was sitting on my face while teasing me with the Hitachi (one of my favorite ways to cum, I love Goddess' ass!). About a minute in, she announced that I was allowed to cum, provided I could do it in the time window that she allotted . I was told that when she gave me the word, I was allowed 7 seconds to reach orgasm. I had no trouble doing so, and let loose a massive amount of cum across my stomach. It wasn't an entirely pleasurable experience, though; Goddess had the Hitachi in a different spot than usual (a bit lower on my shaft), and when I started to cum she took the Hitachi off before I was done cumming. The result was a sort of semi-ruined orgasm, but I was seeing stars nonetheless.

I've been locked up since, and have had trouble racking up points due in part to Goddess' busy schedule (I believe I'm around 58 now). Last night we were able to spend some quality time together thankfully. Goddess has been reading one of Elise Sutton's books, which seems to be making her even more confident in her abilities. In addition, she recommended I start a "slut journal" where I could share my thoughts/desires/fantasies without putting her on the spot and calling for a response. I made my first entry this morning (subjects: cumming in my own mouth, post-orgasm strap-on play, verbal threats of cuckolding), and it felt kind of liberating. I know she would never judge me, but I feel even more comfortable being open in writing. Then she can read it and take it for what it is, implement what she likes and ignore what she doesn't. Perfect!

Can't wait to see what the day brings...