Couple of kinksters- we are in a long distance relationship and she has a low sex drive we decided trying to give femdom a try. It gives me something to do during the days and helps build anticipation to visits. Im a switch and she’s a sub. I like the idea of being dominated and she likes the idea of not having to do housework and get whatever she wants. Where we struggle, I’m not good very good being submissive and she’s not much into being dominant. We have chastity devices, paddles, restraints, cuffs, outfits, feminization outfits, a dog crate, butt plugs, strapon, hood, gags, etc. (Our limits, no other people, no pee/scat, blood, that kinda stuff) we’re pretty open We’ve tried it a few times here and there but have had minimal success. We want to improve but don’t really know how. Any advice, suggestions would be appreciated
Maybe instead of having you do things that MIGHT be slightly awkward (like having her put you in a dog cage or feminizing you) or inflict pain you (spanking with a paddle)... she might be more into something more tame that gives you a reaction (like tickling you while tied). Maybe things like letting her stay on her phone while you amuse her? Whether that would be giving her a back massage, pleasing her orally, etc... I personally believe a lot of the things you mentioned are things you would like her to do to you... So if you are interesting in her paddling you and she isn't... a good place to start would be casually grabbing or smacking your ass random times around the house. There is a good chance you are going to be happy with anything, it's just a matter of finding things that she likes that amuse her. You can always start by pampering her with an arousing little pat for you as a reward.
The real hurdle may be her submissive nature. If you can find any dominant traits in her and encourage those, you'll have more success, but you need to be aware of forcing the issue. If she is really adverse to taking control, a FLR won't really work, even if she hates housework. Talk about what she wants as well as your own needs. The other thing is if you really want this, you have to embrace your submissive side. Making her force it on you, won't likely work. IF you want it, you have to surrender to her and allow her to grown into more of a superior role. Good luck and enjoy.
Well the majority of the stuff we bought is from when I dominate her. However we have just went ahead and bought some other things mentioned. We switch back and forth all the time. So we both have a good understanding from both sides. Another thing, we really have no interest in making a lifestyle. For us its more a scene thing and occasionally maybe drag it out across an entire weekend
My wife previously was totally submissive with anything sexual. After I started behaving more submissively, she became more dominant. Not in every aspect for either of us, but for example, she now quite spontaneously grabs or slaps my testicles or bottom, something she would never have done before. She can't grow into the femdom, if you don't become more malesub.
I'd concentrate on the non-sexual stuff first, to build her confidence. Making sure you do chores, do what you're told, pamper her etc. That way she gets something out of it and she will gradually relax into thing. Good luck
My wife and I are in a similar situation I think. She's not into dominating much either. So we've fallen into a dynamic where I'm still somewhat more dominant - I push for sexy time, asking for when I feel like eating her a lot. As opposed to being "told" to do so. *She* enjoys being pampered and not having to make those decisions. The one she has to make - and has come to enjoy holding the power of - deciding when I get to be released to cum. Sometimes it's a reward for a good performance. Or because she suddenly *wants* intercourse after I get her going. It seems a little more unusual of a dynamic but its working...