Acceptance

Discussion in 'Journals and blogs' started by Disciplined Boyfriend, Oct 27, 2021.

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  1. Disciplined Boyfriend
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    On our chastity journey we've arrived at a point where we're just so comfortable with everything. Lady C will probably keep me locked forever now, apart from the "treats" she likes to give me. She sees no reason to not keep me in a cage and gets quite annoyed when it has to come off for these hospital appointments or when I have work that requires travel or has a security scanner. We've talked about this recently and its so much of our lifestyle that its just another topic of conversation around the dinner table.

    The (chastity) journey is something like this - actually I should probably have put this in blogs and journals:
    • First night we met, both of us were seriously drunk and wanted to fuck each other's brains out - but in a nice way. Lady C introduced some kink to the action.
    • Next years were all BDSM, both of us switching, but gradually Lady C wanting to domme more, and submit less, until it was all Femdom, but play
    • One night when chatting we talked about chastity play and her reaction was "we need to get one of these"
    • First night on (CB6K) was a real laugh, two of us trying to look at the instructions and figure out the various pieces of plastic and find a "fit". It was on for an hour and during that hour she refused to let me out lots of times and even threatening to throw away the key
    • After that it was on for a few hours, Lady C always worried that it would hurt me
    • First time overnight just happened, we had been playing Femdom with me caged and got to the point where she was tired, "but I'm still locked", "you're fine". "Don't you want to feel a hard cock?", "you do, goodnight".
    • First time outside, was caged as she was working that weekend and as I walked into the Supermarket, like so many others, thought that everyone was staring at my crotch, but the security thing went off instead. OMG, my reaction was that the cage or the padlock had set it off. Nope it was another shopper with some clothing that still had the tag on it.
    • First time at the pub, the CB6K is quite bulky and Lady C was sure someone would spot it, offered me the key so that I could go take it off it I were needing to use the toilet
    • Average lock period in these days were anything from an hour (foreplay) to three days. Three days was considered a punishment, but we both knew that the CB6K had to go. Steel was the way forward. I did some research and we considered a couple of cages from various places before she decided that the MM Watchful Mistress was the one, the thing that she really liked about it is the security screw - no padlock to rattle against the steel or jag her in the back when in bed and no real bulkiness in the trouser department. Put away a spare £20 every couple of weeks and eventually had enough for the purchase
    • Next couple of years the cage fuelled the Femdom and domestic discipline we were doing, we even had a chastity contract, with lots of clauses that would give me denial as well as freedom, then one night we talked about where we were going and we ripped up the chastity contract and replaced it with my expectations. These were a series of expectations like i expect to be locked absolutely anytime, I expect that I will get releases, and that the maximum time will be xxxx etc.
    • Then we did Locktober, first time I had been locked for more than 1 week. Unfortunately we have two anniversaries in October - the night we met and the day we married. We also had a week's holiday booked in Paris, so the cage came off for the flights, and off on the anniversary night for play. We had a wonderful time on on city centre hotel bed with the curtains and windows open whilst she padded my ass loudly and gave a constant commentary on how small and cute the cage was and how she was going to keep it there forever. She did let me out and gave me a lovely 30 minute teasing wank, stopping every now and again to ask me how bad it would be if she were to stop and cage it again. She relented though and finished me off.
    • Not long after that I was quite ill for a couple of years and pretty much not able to do anything more that watch banal crap on the TV, which was a real annoyance. The illness made it difficult to breath, and talking was a chore. We put a hold on kink for about two years, and then one morning during lockdown in the UK, I think the actual date was 24th May 2020 I woke up and felt great. We chatted that day (we were both working from home) and she knew I was feeling good it was that noticeable. I told her I was up for kink again, and the next I knew she was calling me upstairs where the cage was waiting - not what I had in mind I said. The cage is going on she told me, and then I'm going to strap your ass.
    • She intended to keep me caged for 3 days, and maybe let me out after 2 if I behaved good. That week she was going to be back at the workplace, for the next 10 days so I suggested that the cage remained locked as long as she was working away from home. After the 10 days passed we had "that conversation". I told her I wanted us to get more serious with chastity, what do you think? "But what if I want to use it?", "you can, anytime you want", "just say no when I want". So we decided that the end of the year was a decent goal for semi-permanent locking. One thing that was not going to work was the Sunday morning sex. I would give her an orgasm and her automatic reaction was to give me one, either uncage me or use the vibrator through the cage. We spoke about it and I said it was almost too predicable that I could guarantee an orgasm by giving her one - that's not denial. She agreed, but it was pure instinct to return the pleasure. Instead we thought that a spanking instead of orgasm would be intimate enough for her, yet denial for me.
    • We did just that, I would whine for release and she would just laugh and tell me she was testing my resolve. She actually said that she expected me to beg a lot more and thought my resolve was way above her expectations, so therefore there was no way that I could be wanting out. What a girl.
    • 31 December came and went and just after midnight she told me she was way too drunk to remove the cage, so it came off the following morning on 1st January. When I mentioned that I'd like to continue, she said "no". I can keep it in there, but I can also keep you out, I want it out today. The next day we reviewed our previous year and the statistics were locked for 177 days in 2020, which considering we didn't start until May, was reasonable.
    • After the review we talked more and it got to the point when i asked her what her intentions were for 2021, her answer was "keep you locked for about 70% of 2021". Unfortunately I had to head off to work at site then next day for a week and wasn't caged, when I got back it was about another week before she decided that the cage was going back on.... and not coming off for a long while.
    • And that's pretty much how it's been for this year so far. Out for Valentine's day for a treat, out for five days in June for work travel, out long enough for a shower and orgasm a couple of times and a few ruins. All in all, locked up 278 days this year, unlocked for 23 days, locked 92.67% of the time and a total of 7 orgasms - 0.7 orgasms per month, good or otherwise.
    • Longest the cage was on continuously was 101 days. When she discovered that 100 days was approaching she announced that I would get a treat. So day 100 arrived and the treat she gave me was a spanking. "You were so expecting to get out and orgasm weren't you", she explained, so to see your face when I put away the keys and took a strap out of my bag was brilliant. Day 101 she did let me out and did allow me an orgasm, but for that I was positioned with on my back with my legs over my shoulders so that every drop of cum landed either in my mouth or on my face. Was it worth it? Yes
    • Fast forward to the current time and a few days ago we were celebrating our anniversary, the things we have done, our achievements, the high points, the things that we love about our relationship, things we have done on our anniversary, how many spankings I've had, 92% locked this calendar year, almost 100% locked this year of marriage and a general chat about the chastity and kink journey from these early days worried that it might hurt after an hour to now when she's more than happy to keep my permanently locked with treats being limited to probably birthdays and anniversaries. That should make choosing a present for me a lot easier, "do you want some toiletries gift set or a wank?"
    • So we have arrived at that point in our life that we've called acceptance. She's accepted that chastity works for her, she can demand attention or orgasms whenever she wants and can give me them when _SHE_ wants as well. For my part, I'm mostly denied and happy. Happy that we've taken this journey together, not just chastity, but everything we do. My anniversary present from her was a spanking. Told me to fetch her nasty strap and bring it back in my teeth, kneeling whilst she cleared the dinner table. "Now tell me how much you want it", that really annoying question that she asks until I tell her its to be hard and long. "Aren't you going to close the curtains?", "no". These aren't small windows, but full length curtains that cover the patio doors and anyone walking down the path behind the back fence would be able to see everything. Again, how she's progressed, at one time, every door and window would be closed with loud music or the TV to drown any obvious someone getting their ass strapped noises
    • Where do we go from here? Carry on as we have we said, maybe get different cages, even a full belt experience, but they'll still be orgasms good and bad, spankings and chastity and probably getting braver what should the cage be removed for situations. For a long while she's comfortable to keep me locked for regular medical examinations, and we've even discussed the emergency key and its a hot topic on here a lot, but our mentality is that any medical emergency we would not remove the cage, but seek medical attention first as health care is way more important that mild embarressment. We're not going out of our way to force our lifestyle on others, but we're not going to hide it as much and if openly challenged or asked we would confirm. One thing that's still on my bucket list is to find that beach, outside party or other such even where nudity and chastity were acceptable, but that's probably a long way away.
    So that's what chastity journey has been, and its probably been a long while since I've felt this good both physically and mentally and now the brain fog has lifted I'm more capable of writing such long posts. A couple of things we don't do: we don't do cross dressing, there's absolutely no part of use want to do sissy, I'm not her slave, and its never called a clit. I am, mostly, her equal, but its a FLR she keeps reminding me, and a lot of small mundane decisions are hers, the important financial ones we take equally.

    If there were a secret to a good chastity relationship I think you need to have a good non-chastity relationship first and then talk, discuss what you want, and that's what you both want and continue to talk about the experience. Not to the point where its the only topic of conversation, and I think for us males the first couple of weeks with a cage on its a big deal for us, and I was guilty of that too, however the biggest threat she ever made was to never to it again, "now shutup".
     
  2. Thomas Gangman
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    Thomas Gangman Active member

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    Great read, to the point and lays all the information on the table. Thanks for sharing.
     
  3. Disciplined Boyfriend
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    Oh, there's still lots of dirty secrets , but these are for another day. Thanks for the kind words
     
  4. Jah Rubbings
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    Jah Rubbings Jah Rubbings

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    Great Post. Thanks.
     
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  5. Bronco
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    This was fun to read and can’t wate far more dirty little secrets . Thanks far telling us your jerny
     
  6. Disciplined Boyfriend
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    Feel free to ask! My memory is so bad that I can't remember everything, though
     
  7. MissyB
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    What a wonderful journey. Thanks for sharing. I agree that a non-chastity relationship first makes it all possible.
     
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  8. Disciplined Boyfriend
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    Thanks for your comments :) Start with a good partner then strive to make it better
     
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  9. Bronco
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    That is so true !
     
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  10. LesterBallard
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    LesterBallard Active member

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  11. Disciplined Boyfriend
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    Thankyou
     
  12. Jah Rubbings
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    Jah Rubbings Jah Rubbings

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    Stoner?
     
  13. Disciplined Boyfriend
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    Probably pickled by the whisky and beers
     
  14. Mojoman
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    Mojoman Active member

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    What a lovely post/thread started by @Disciplined Boyfriend and a very simple, but thought provoking title......."Acceptance". Don't we all want "acceptance" in some way? Acceptance of who we are? Acceptance of our sexuality?

    In western society, we expect to be accepted for who we are and we expect acceptance of our sexuality. I "accept" that certain religious beliefs place restrictions on what is acceptable and what is not, but there are many other less accepting societies in the world.

    However, what is not a given is acceptance of your kink. I think this is reasonable, as most kinks are unexplainable to anyone that doesn't share them and, if you do share a kink with another person, there's no need to explain as they already understand. I like to think that I accept the kinks of others, even if I don't share them. The thing we have in common is that we're kinky.

    The only person we need to "accept" our kinks, is the partner that we choose to share them with. So isn't it lovely to read about a couple (Lady C & DB) who have found acceptance in their relationship.

    Good on you DB and long may it continue.
     
  15. Disciplined Boyfriend
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    Thanks @Mojoman
     
  16. Bronco
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    Well sead.
     
  17. DutchGuy
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    DutchGuy Member

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    What a good story of a wonderful journey.
     
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  18. Disciplined Boyfriend
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    Thanks for the kind words
     
  19. NikkiAnton
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    A great story. Thank you for sharing it!
     
  20. madams-sissysub
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    Great writings, thanks for posting.
     
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  21. Disciplined Boyfriend
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    Thanks @madams-sissysub :)
     
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