A question for the key holders out there.

The short answer is that like any other relationship, some keyholders are enthusiastic and caring. Meanwhile others mail it in. The same is true on the locked side of the equation.

 

I see what you did there lol

 

Keep in mind that a lot of the FLR descriptions, guides, blogs, stories, etc. on the internet are written by men, men pretending to be women, women with a male audience, or women painting a rosy (and unsustainable) picture of the lifestyle. Many of the FLRs you read about are either 1. Completely fictitious, 2. Exaggerating the one-sidedness of the power exchange or the strictness of the rules, 3. Exaggerating how long they keep the lifestyle going (e.g., weekends-only vs 24/7/365), or 4. Unhappy, abusive, or not 'safe, sane, & consensual'.

Truth is, there aren't going to be very many happy FLR couples in which the husband truly does everything while his wife sits around every day being spoiled and pampered like a Roman emperor.

 

From a woman's perspective, it's not as cut-and-dry and I agree with @HisFreakySide - complete power ownership is a work of fiction. There should be some degree of give and take - that's the case for any good relationship. And communication is key - perhaps one side has the expectations that the other side doesn't know about or doesn't understand.

 

I put tons of significance on this lifestyle. There have been times where he has escaped the bondage or avoided wearing the device.
I don't think that as a Domme that I should have to stand there and watch him put his device on. he should honor my trust and not disappoint me in his actions. I guess this is kind of a test. If he fails it, then it is natural consequences.
Some subs obviously can't handle that type of freedom, or are just bratty and enjoy and crave the consequences.
Lately, things in our household have changed. Not only due to the virus, but I have been more demanding on how he is to present himself to me at home. he isn't to have clothes on, wear a locked in a chain dog collar. Just because I know he is uncomfortable. I have been amping it up at night because he truly craves the BDSM. This lifestyle affects his dreams in many ways which then turns me on hearing about it as we lay in bed the next morning.
he loves to touch me while I'm on top of him in bed; knowing that his hands are bound and he doesn't have access to touching me.
It's the small things that he does that are actually big things to me. While I'm working and in virtual meetings, he brings me my coffee and breakfast or is doing dishes. he opens my car doors and drops me off at the door of buildings if it is raining.
In return, he is continuously teased even if it's constant fondling, me wearing sexy clothes or clothes he loves out in public. I tease him by turning on porn that I know he likes to watch, I talk about fantasies and things I could do to him which intrigues him even more and keeps him wondering if and when I will follow through. When I'm tired, I just bound him down and roll over in bed, tell Alexa to turn off the lights, and go to sleep. It really bothers him when he is bound that he hears me breathing deeply and go into my subtle snoring because 1) he doesn't want to wake me and 2) he knows I'm completely out of it at that time and he is helpless.
I absolutely think it's a 2 way street. Trust, communication, and effort 24/7. I think it's alright to incorporate in vanilla sex. I absolutely get that urge every once in a while to just have that passionate good old f*** session that pulls from the most inner feelings letting me know that we have the total package of our relationship outside of this lifestyle.