A few years out of the saddle but only days left until I’m back in

So after 4 years or so (we moved house and I crazily binned all our ‘stuff’ in fear of family helpers finding it) my wife has decided that I need to be caged again. I have about 10 days of freedom left before getting a new much smaller cage - I had the curve previously and that was way too big. Getting the Rikers lock soon. But that is by the by. Has anyone else been through this where there has been years of freedom before being told you HAVE to be locked up again? I am finding the anticipation absolutely startling and am nervous and excited at the same time! So weird!! Is that just me or is it normal??? Thanks for your thoughts!! (My wife isn’t helping (or is she! by stating I already have 3 extra days added but we haven’t even got it on me yet, nor have we any release date set - she told me I will find that out once I am locked - which is making my physically tremble in nervous anticipation - I think she has decided to be a lot firmer this time than previously because of our history (but that’s another story).. all comments appreciated!

 

Hmmm.... As I said, wifey seems to be a lot harder now than she was previously... so I have a feeling you may be absolutely correct. I will keep you posted with updates on this journey!

 

You are not wrong!!!! My wife is definitely still aggrieved from my years of not great behavior.. and to be honest, I can understand that... I think from my own perspective, I did hurt her quite badly (not physically) but just by not being as good a husband as i should have been. I look at this as a chance of redemption as I know she still hasn’t forgiven or forgotten how I was.. but I do want her to get her own head clear as to how things should be for us in the future - if this is the way to some sort of redemption then so be it - I know I was rubbish as a husband but I changed my ways 2 years ago and have been trying harder than ever.... but as you say, women take a lot longer over these things so I am pretty sure I am going to be in for a rough time of things - and to be honest, deserved!

 

Ok... so things are moving pretty fast now... the night before last I volunteered a foot massage for my wife which I haven’t done for her in ages... she jumped at that and was more than happy for me to do! Needless to say she loved it. During my drive home, I had worked out pretty much what I needed to tell her. Quite simply I know what a rubbish husband I had been for the first 4 years of our marriage. We have had counseling but they were pretty much hapless where we were concerned. My wife still hurts badly from how I was - simply, I was an alcoholic and drank daily - I did not give her much of a life at all and to this day it still hurts her with how bad a husband I was. Which brings us to the present day - I have been completely dry for 2 years now and I appreciate my wife beyond words for not kicking my sorry ass out years ago. I owe her big time. The counciling was crap but she said a few weeks ago she still thinks she needs therapy to be able to put everything in its place.. the hurt and pain etc. Hence, I can only do what I can do... tell her I can understand her hurt and pain that I cause by not being there as a normal thinking person. I feel extremely tormented by the guilt of my behavior and I can only offer myself on a plate to her. She still gets extremely angry at times about things and I was the time who used to retaliate in the war of words, which helps no one. Now I know that to at least redeem myself if only a fraction compared to the years of drinking and generallly pissing my wife off, I have to offer her something.... and THIS is why I feel she can hurt me in the most effective way possible and I hope more than anything, she gets to feel good about doing it - I know 2 wrongs don’t make a right, but she certainly didn’t ask for me to upset her or treat her like crap. This time, I give her carte blanch to be as mean to me as she wants. I have told her yesterday - she knows how much I enjoy sexual pleasure - in order to help her own road to mental recovery, I give my total being to her - I told her I need to be kept frustrated sexually - I need to be humiliated - if she considers my bits to be on the small size, hen tell me so... in no uncertain terms... you want me to do something for you, then tell me “I WANT you to be frustrated, I do not WANT you to come.. you will ONLY get to come when I say so”.... and she did....

 

As a new man who has guilt, I am finding that honesty is the best policy - even to people here... I’m not some lurker wrapped up in his own fantasy, what I write is the honest truth and I am hoping (maybe completely incorrectly - Life didn’t give me a manual) that my relationship with my wife will now flourish and she enjoys the control (that she wanted) that I am handing to her. She said to me last night that she is looking forward to me being locked up but she wonders when the whining will start - having been in The Curve years ago I WAS whiney - I was also drunk a lot - and my wife did NOT find that attractive in the least. I told her that I am now a different man to the one she knew then and I know that any whining will simply piss her off and she just won’t find the lifestyle enjoyable... so, yeah... I WILL end up frustrated and desperate at times for release (I rarely went longer than 2 days before doing something about it!!)... so yes, my life will change... I hope for the better.... anyway... I hope this is the right place to tell my story... I just want people to know since I am not a ‘therapy person’... at least I can empty my brain here and know, you can read my story, or not if you’re not interested... but this place helps!! I could write all this down and send it to myself in an email... it’s not quite the same!! Thanks

 

Well... as I stated... I got my counting of days completely wrong.. my actual lockup date will be April 4th. That is the day my Rikers Lock will arrive. As far as the journey is going at the moment, I am still placing subtle ideas into my wife’s head. As I said elsewhere, she isn’t vanilla but is new to the role of dominant KH but is seriously going well. While she is not without her own ideas, there are certain areas within FLM that she has no clue about. I was massaging her feet last night and whilst doing so, I quietly mentioned that it might be nice before I go into the cage to have a good hard celebratory fuck... and she ummmed and aahhed about this... so I mentioned that some people also use things like numbing cream when they are worried that hubby simply will be too horny and cum within 10 seconds... “really??.. well yeah, I can see how that would work... but you would have to wear a condom too, yeah??”... so THIS was positive! I also mentioned about hollow dildos which can be worn by men and then the woman has NO floppy problems to worry about AND the man feels nothing... thus, if you’re missing cock and it’s not hubbys release date... you at least have another option.... she did indeed make positive sounds.... things are indeed getting interesting!!!

 

Ps.... she gently kneed me in the balls earlier today..... God that felt good (yeah, really!!! ) and I made the mistake of asking her to do it again.... thats an extra day added on... for asking!

 

Just for the record.... wife is playing the honour card on me.. no cum for me in the last week and the drive to work is getting harder... literally... I just think of the knee to my balls she did or the ‘extra days’ she keeps adding for the most trivial of reasons or telling me to massage her but she really doesn’t want me to cum after that... and up he pops... at least I DO have the sense to keep my mind on the road no matter how stiff or leaky he’s getting... by the way... I am up to 2 weeks added days now and the cage isn’t due on until 4th April... am starting to get a little worried that she might not even let me cum BEFORE then... :-0 (and the leak!! You would not believe!!!)