90 days as a Mistress: a recap of what I learned, saw, and experienced

Consider the following to be a ‘postmortem recap’ Miss Bella’s excursion into being a keyholder/Mistress for those that may find a bit of interest hidden within my words.

Hi all!


This is my attempt to voice my experiences , share thoughts and opinions and shine light as to what the ‘other side of the cage’ is really like or what it can consist of including the good and bad.

For those that don’t know me or are unfamiliar with my particular brand of crazy. I’m not a typical Mistress both because I do not possess a vagina , and because I have had 0.00 experience previously in any sort of power dynamic relationship , BDSM and , well, being a Mistress in any capacity outside of roleplaying one almost a decade ago. I’m virtually exclusively dominant in all of my interactions because it is effortlessly just who I am. I routinely put sissies and submissive men in their own flavor of subspace without even trying. It would be when I did try that I’d find that I was perhaps a bit too effective.

I have a personality quirk that is mostly attributed to blind confidence in my abilities in certain areas. The more I continued to read about being a Mistress and being a KH — my thoughts immediately went to “I could totally do that better than most !”

Was that actually accurate? Yes and no.

Due to inherent obligations, values and agreement with my wife (who is ruthlessly vanilla) I have been constrained to being an online-only Mistress.

“So, Miss Bella, how did it go?”

Well, depends on your perspective but I surely learned a bunch, got to meet and know many wonderful , lovely people and share in their innermost thoughts and fantasies. That’s certainly a positive takeaway despite the frustrating and the bad.

“What did you learn about your sexuality/kinks/preferences, Miss Bella?”

I like a lot of kinky stuff that only appeals to me when the other person is REALLY into it. What do I mean ? They would ask up front what my interests or turn ons or kinks are…

And the reality is that I don’t have many specific kinks. What turns me on are two decidedly unsexy things that when put into practice elevate everything greatly. EAGERNESS and AUTHENTICITY.

What!? Well, as a domme, the only time I’m TRULY interested in you and your worm is when you show me truly, without games or bullshit, that you are an active, willing and VERY EAGER participant . If I have to explain and practically talk you into doing something that you’ve never done — I have already lost interest. If you ask me if you can do ______, well I’m sure you can but that isn’t what this is about. Most do not wish to exchange ideas or thoughts — they simply want to wait until I’m done speaking so they can tell me theirs. I am extraordinarily patient , forgiving , understanding and I love showing kindness — but I don’t feel anything when someone tries to top themselves from the bottom. I’m just numb, and I’m apathetic to it. If that’s sexy to you , well, good thing you don’t have very high standards!

The truth is … outside of pooping in someone’s mouth or making them bleed ‘for fun’— I’m probably willing to entertain the thought and entertain myself with you to a certain degree with whatever wild and whacky shit that drives you wild.

Also, to illustrate my pure and total lack of experience in the realm of D/s relationships and dynamics , when I first started this — I legitimately had to google what ‘subspace’ was — and my first reaction is even more funny. Before I did realize what that was— me being a huge nerd and all— I thought ‘subspace frequencies’….. “are we being hailed? “ “ mr worf, ready phaser banks, be on the ready …” ……is this a Star Trek meme that I’ve been neglected of knowing about?

Oof’ing myself there but I don’t write any of this to make me sound superior to anyone because I simply am not. I am a genuinely humble person who makes an effort to vocalise how much I appreciate the vast amount of fortunate gifts I am able to enjoy — including support system, friends and family, gainful employment and all of the rest of things that are truly valuable in my life. In my opinion , superiority is for egos that can’t cope with reality . There is good and bad with everything in life , just like with people. The extremes of two sides are never quite as bad or as good as you think they are and the truth usually lands somewhere near the middle.


Here’s perhaps a ‘top5’ takeaways that I feel comfortable are correct according to my personal experience over the brief but impactful time I spent as a Mistress:

1. CM is an incredible and uniquely valuable resource, with a great community full of wildly different and mostly wonderful people . That said , it is not a very good place to find submissives that aren’t total garbage . That’s no one’s fault — it’s just a fact.
2. You get what you put into it , at best — you get far less at worst. Generally , 4 out of 5 people who approach have spent less time reading the personal ad or my profile than they did writing their message— that usually consists of 1-3 sentences and completely focused on themselves . At first I responded to literally everyone only because I was curious about what I could produce out of them after a few interactions . The answer to many is “not much!”
3. In some sense, it’s a position where it is a true role reversal full of subverted expectations. Unless you are a ruthless , bitterly cold person (that’s particularly hard for me) , it’s difficult not to — at the end of my time with who I’ve worked with — to be or feel like I have been the dominated one implicitly. Subs have all the power in that they can just disengage and walk away . Sure , I can too, but a domme is only as effective as a willing and open submissive. Meanwhile, attempting to make yourself appear worthwhile doing this is a must.

This is important for anything worthwhile to occur or progress to be made with someone. When interactions are taking place I’m clearly absolutely in control— but by the time I’ve gotten invested in their care— suddenly it’s not enough and they ghost me .

Good rapport, shaky rapport — it’s doesn’t even matter — expect a lot of implicit rejections just because of the nature of the internet. Real life always comes first but the lack of respect for me in the end makes me wholly unmotivated to care about anyone who approaches me.

4. Be a mistress if you want an amusing collection of sad dick pics. Really , really sad . Some are decent but most look like a little fleshy mushroom encased in the middle of an overgrown swamp. Seriously, why the fuck does anyone LIKE body hair ? It’s gross and you’re gross for liking it . If you think I’m shaming you , good , get a razor and go make yourself look less like a hippie gorilla.

5. The near universal defeatist attitude in regards to orgasms and being very penile-focused is understandable but such a cop-out from so much more enjoyment and self-discovery that you could be having and experiencing.

Also below are a few observations that I’m sure have everything to do with the fact that I do NOT have penis envy with a big ol’ strap on. I don’t need a strap-on to intimidate and it’s my most effective tool in my toolbelt. I just want to bring to light because I think some of them are funny

1. Traditional sexuality labels are hilariously outdated . And no , I don’t mean all of the ridiculous ‘woke-adjacent’ word salad terms some others like to be throwing around as if they mean anything either—- it’s just a label that you’ve tagged yourself with or you prefer others to tag you with — nothing more or less.

2. Relating to point 1, If I had a dollar for every submissive non-sissy male that would — if not immediately, within just 1-2 messages — tell me all about how they would gladly be on their knees gagging themselves on my cock and eating my ass like it’s the deli counter at the grocery store— well, isn’t that just hilarious. While I don’t find myself considering them gay for doing so— in the pantheon of sexual acts, gagging on cock isn’t what I’d call a very straight activity for a cock owner to be doing. It doesn’t matter if it is or isn’t — they were verbalising their respect of my position and I enjoy them humoring me in this way — it’s just the hilarity of putting yourself in a very small box and then leaving that box to do what you actually want to do — so why label yourself at all?

Does your self-loathing at the thought of liking to play with and please cock really overrule being an adult with a healthy sexually adventurous appetite?

3. The amount of built-up fantasy that most approach you with is so obvious that they are just so desperate for me to share in what they’ve already decided. It doesn’t work like that , babe , and if you want my attention , start listening to me and shut the fuck up. I’m likely one of the only people who will ever actively ask for a picture of your dick unironically.

Embrace the interaction and stop worrying about what you’ve built up in your head. As a submissive , you do NOT know best and that’s why you’ve been seeking help.

4. The fear of those illiterate little boys who haven’t taken the time to actually read words that their desired KH/Mistress has clearly stated all over this site and in her profile — that she has a REAL cock—- is priceless and oh so delicious giggle-fuel. The “uh-oh-ummm-omg, I’m um….sorry that I uhh…” makes me tickled thinking about it — even more so when they attempt to rationalise their ignorant behavior by attempting to insult or disparage me.

Some of my favorite quotes would have to be :

“I don’t like DUDES… no offense”….
“I only like vagina” … (lol fair enough)
”I only want an actual woman to hold my key.”

Those are just a few small examples of real interactions I’ve had , but the irony is that they’re so desperate to be controlled by someone possessing something they cannot have. Meanwhile, they really wish their wife would care about their dick and they load up some transgender porn and just generally act in ways that are patently ridiculous. They would rather fetishize me and purposefully disrespect me than be a real person and have a decent , reasonable conversation . And they wonder why no GG (genetic girl) will care about or spend time thinking about managing their cock. They are truly a ‘dickforbrains’ to me for this reason.

5. It’s immediately obvious who is an actually serious submissive v. who is trying to concoct something that they think would interest me. Words are simply you showing me your poker hand before we even place any bets.
6. If a submissive explains how they will ‘be right back’ it’s 50/50 that they are figuring out their ‘escape route . ‘


Putting someone into ‘subspace’ when you think and write a certain way can be surprisingly effortless . Like, by just being myself and very lightly teasing, have buried some in that floaty ethereal place . As someone who has no experience, will, or desire to submit or be submissive — this seems both odd and attractiveness.


I broke a guy once. Maybe twice actually. Really was so complimentary of me , my appearance, my words, and my writings among other things . However, when I turned the crosshairs of my words towards him, making him MY little slut— an ego break was then in progress until they clearly realized that they were immensely turned on by things that they clearly did not previously consider and were made extremely uncomfortable by the notion .

Will I Mistress again?

Probably. Heck, I’m still keyholding , Mistressing and playing with some subs still — but as far as taking on new ones , and/or wasting my time catering to people that generally do not respect me or my time sounds like the ultimate act in futility . I’m clearly mentally over that wasteful mental treadmill.

I shine bright, I wish to share that brightness with those that are worthy of experiencing it , and I hope maybe you’ve learned a little something about me , what it’s like being an online Mistress or my own personal experiences while lurking around this place far too much.

Not that I’ll be going anywhere because I enjoy speaking with, joking around with , and learning from a great many of you that may or may not ever read this.

If you’ve been my submissive previously and couldn’t communicate your disinterest in continuing , well, get your shit together and communicate . I would dare anyone to give me an example where I didn’t encourage open, honest, direct communication both good and bad.

To those who’ve been on the sidelines observing or admiring and fantasizing about me holding your key at some point and teaching you what I can — don’t give up hope just yet — there’s plenty more of me to share in the future and I can promise you I will in many ways be worth the wait .


Questions/comments? I could have shared so much more but that’s why I can also have follow-up posts for whatever that may include .

 

I debated including more of a chronology of going from posting my ‘ad’ and then receiving no less than 30 DMs in the first 24 hours.

I was naive enough to have posted that without realistically believing anyone would ever respond.

lol…..oops!

I’m so glad you enjoyed it…. I had a good time both doing what all I described but also writing this earlier today

 

::you hear a low moaning static sound coming from your headset before it subsides::

I will throw everyone a boner here who may have thought — where is Miss Bella’s snark, witty repartee , all of the fun stuff I like reading when she posts.

well, chaste baby birds , fret not! you are in luck because Momma Miss Bella is here to feed you the sassy, sarcastic addendum that was far too long to be included in the original post .

also when I say it was a massive timesink waste of time, you’ll soon know why. It’s of my own making clearly, but sometimes I just can’t help myself — just like most of you coincidentally.

As a follow-up to the posts above, I want to add a few off the wall tidbits that I neglected to include in my first post.

If you haven’t gathered by now, I’m a wordy bitch and I get on tangents that leave me not completing or connecting previous thoughts . I promise it’s not because I’m always a dumbass but it is because a lot of what I write here and there on CM I only lightly proofread. There’s no editing or rewriting and sometimes I fuck up. Most of you understand what I’m saying despite that fact so no harm no foul right?

So, at the peak of my time somewhere around the holiday period (within a few weeks of my post on 12/16) how much time and effort had I volunteered ? to both the gracious and the unworthy sacks full of sperm that don’t ever deserve names IRL ?

A buttload. Not a total gangbang collective communal creampie’s worth , but a leaky sticky hot cummy metric buttload nonetheless.

“For fuck’s sake, tell us and stop talking about cum, Miss Bella, we all know by now you are a cumslut”

Fair enough , so …how much I wrote or typed . I do keep a word counter and character counter handy btw.

On my busiest day of doing this, I wrote more than 17000 words (!!!) between the hours of 8am and midnight.

That is more than 1000 words an hour. All ad hoc. It’s my own fault for ever doing it myself. During the week after new years I typed more than 55,000 words that week.

That’s 110pages single spaced , in a week.

What in the actual fuck. To compound this even further in the red, Probably 1/4 to 1/3 of that was never even RESPONDED to.

Mind you, I have a family —- a wife , 2 beautiful daughters and a full time job that I work 40-50 hours a week from home for…. So my early days of doing this was literal and figurative balls to the wall with most of my free waking time strictly responding to people and being myself, doing what I do .

That is obviously untenable. I was typing 500-2000 word responses and immediately plowing through the next message and the next and the next .

I have both every idea and no idea why I did this but by my nature , I love to write in a very stream of consciousness style. And when it’s cumming fast and furious you have to ride that lightning , right CM?

Hmm, guess you kids aren’t ready for that one yet but your KH’s are gonna love it.

::mumbles:: shit , that Back to the Future tie in reference was pure gold but I gotta know my audience better , pull it together Isabella!

::ahem::


What I mean is that again — roughly 3 out of 5 approaches will consist of someone with

No profile picture
<5 total posts (if any )
Bio consisting of nothing more than cb6000 or cb3000 or whatever the cheapest easiest cage to find is
Won’t say much other than , and I’m taking some liberties so I am not specifically identifying anyone , as there have been many that sound copy/pasted because I’m absolutely positive at least 20+ other Mistresses and KH received that same message

You can see with this the disheartening part, I might as well have been jerking myself off — or giving myself a ‘grippie’ as I call it now — right into their hollow , soulless little eyes. Making the star between my legs and in between my ears go fucking supernova and I’d be lucky to get a “Wow!” while we both at least would have something to show for it. And with any luck , the nectar I would have blessed them with would have given them pink eye .

Fuckin’ time wasters — not worthy of anything more than them having a flaccid caged dick and the deafening sound of silence filling the dead air between their ears. Caging them is strictly a symbolic act of removing them from the gene pool . ….

Not to mention probably while they cry tears of affirmation as they would be thumbing through “Masculinist weekly—‘how to be a pathetic worm and blame everyone else except yourself” and realizing they were going to eventually die alone of their own making because of their stark refusal to offer anything of value to anyone other than their love and sex life’s desperately bleak prognosis report anyway.

At the end of the day I tried to care and they were unbreakable in their stoic determination to never have a shred of personality or even an attempt to build rapport with someone whom they want to control their genitalia. ITS A WILD WORLD OUT THERE , FOLKS!

This is me laying it on thicc and venting, btw. Could you tell?

I’m not sure which part gave it away. I’ll let you tell me in the comments. Don’t forget to like and subscribe and ring th…. Sorry, dead meme. Short circuit — it’s late , please forgive your dear Leader, dear reader.

So …..when I say I feel they ‘didn’t deserve what I gave most of them’ , you bet your sweet little caged mini-cock they didn’t.

Essentially I was participating in some sort of sexy “game-jam” where I was apparently intent on seeing how much I could possibly write because I was determined to outlast and outpace all comers — or in this particular context , all soon to be not-comers.

Yes I’m a crazy try-hard sometimes but this just felt like a really intense , personal, sexy job interview and I dialed things back considerably as the flood of new recruits slowly drained to a trickle. So much so that I finally just stopped responding to things I could not justify giving a shit about.

While perhaps some were hidden gems, I didn’t quite care to find out …

if you were one of those that I ignored — your game is weak and I didn’t have the energy or time to tell you that I couldn’t be bothered . That’s not typically my style , but that’s what it was. So let’s try better next time , yeah? Good talk .


Ok now for the memes and the fun part .



Below you will find both a REAL example of a slightly redacted “approach”(lol) and then I take some liberties to rewrite their message in a generic template for all subs with equally absent personality or communication skills could copy to perhaps at least entertain me . It would surely be an IMPROVEMENT and I don’t really think it would be up for debate once you read it.

(BTW, I fully expect this in my inbox from IB, I see you IB , I appreciate you IB —you wonderfully goofy small dicked tribal Amazonian slave of a man )




It’s Almost like they typed it with one hand . Hmmmm

I did not correct spelling /grammar so this is the real deal getting ready to raw dog your eyes!

Behold!

“Hey I seen your rad in the personal section. Your hot and I am single and do not have a keyhole. I would love yo get to know you if you interested in it. Hit me up”


wow, ok. So much to take in , digest . Process. Somehow try to top it? Hmm. Well I’m gonna top it in every way but that’s besides the point….Hmmm

Im rad in the personal section — right on horny dude . You’re damned right I’m rad. Thanks — so sweet!
And wait — I’m also still wondering why I don’t have a keyhole?

Did his lock not come with a keyhole?

Is he playing 4d chess and I need to google this shit again ?

I would love Yo Get?
Is ‘Yo Get’ one of those tantric masturbation gurus?
Why would Yo Get to know me if me interested in it? It’s like raw urban open mic poetry night right into my inbox . Brilliant.
Also,
Is this a TCBY reference? Is he asking me out to a date to a TCBY for a cum-substitution-licking good time? Am I turned on right now ? Why are my panties wet? Aaaaah he got me!! I don’t know how but he got me!

I’m gonna lie awake at night and ponder these questions . Fuck!

Jokes aside , you see the imbalance that is was in place. Sometimes you’d have some that would get REALLY crazy and add a whole extra sentence or two , as if that would be enough for me to truly care. The only thing it makes me want to do is lock them in a cage and solder the lock in, and then epoxy their entire cage cock and balls all together so they could figure out escaping as their first and only task.

So as a special treat , here’s a template for what they SHOULD have written if they wanted me to ever respect them or take them seriously.



Hi mistress

My name is Imagrande and frankly, things have gone off the rails on this end pretty quickly . I’ve edged myself 45 times in the last hour reading just the title of your post that I haven’t read yet(totally going to after another 10 reps!) when I’m coming to the realization that I’m needing to be caged . My cock has been my boss all my life and I’ve decided that it needs to not be it’s own boss if im ever going to be less pathetic, gross, and a functional person in society.

It’s time to stop my cock from living the dream of believing that im capable of being a responsible adult and be in charge of my own pleasure . I have a thin wet noodle upstairs and downstairs and oh god , I can’t help myself. I almost came. Saw your pussy cage pic. I’d look so gay in that pussy cage that it makes me want to eat your scrum like it’s Auntie Mae’s chicken and waffles. If you couldn’t tell — That’s where you cum in.

Much to your surprise , I live alone , single never married and never felt a warm mouth or hand or crotch anywhere near my own. I’ve wanted to lock my PP away cause it’s so undesirable that even I don’t want to play with it anymore — and I’m too weak minded to not just play with it and cry tears of regret afterwards for being so helpless. My therapist says I cry too much and I tell her that it’s just my cock crying. I don’t know that she really understands me but do you understand how hard it is to edge 45 times in 1 hour? …. Girls with vaginas just don’t understand that , do they??

Mistress I will edge for you — I will edge for you on the edge of reality itself — say the word and I will gladly do the deed without a minute or hand to spare.

I like water sports (#jetskis) , CBT(Treat my balls like a pack of edible THC gushers, please Mistress!!!) , SPH( cock so small I actually have only a real functional vagina, I’m sensitive about it obviously ), and so many more. I can also be your pee pee toilet for you and all of your other sissies. No male subs tho — I don’t want masculine urine! Too bitter! So , When you go tinkle, I go tinkle too. It’s a give and take — trust me on that. You’ll grow to love it, I’m sure. Did I mention that I’m single?

I also like to imagine that I’m a useful submissive to you , so whenever you want to hear how I will allow you to address me , I will consult my self-written masculinist field guide to submission and then if I don’t suspect you are indoctrinating me into your transfeminist counter narrative ideology, I may still disparage your eyes , brain and time.

For your consideration.

~Imagrande Dickforbrains


Ok so there you have it.

A true point / counterpoint as well as some other juicy tidbits.

I re-read my original post and figured this needed a bit more sizzle to keep the caged masses in line around these parts .

You are all so welcome!

 

Haha thanks --- in the pantheon of my most proud spontaneous and not pre-meditated 'references', that BTTF one landed better than expected.

I also was originally motivated to do this type of 'recap' because it's clear to me after having experienced it that most have absolutely NO clue how overwhelming it can be, how quickly and easily you can be inundated with more things (cocks, subs, what have you ) that you know what to do with, and the process of weighing time investment vs. engagement.

I didn't have any clear goal, clearly -- foolishly too-- had absolutely no idea what I was volunteering myself for....so while this all may sound like I'm complaining, it's really a compilation of various facets that I find noteworthy, entertaining, memorable, and/or funny.

Overall, I've immensely enjoyed what time I've spent in this role.....and I feel that if I were to 'open the gates back up again', there would be a vastly more organized, prepared Mistress with a razor-sharp tongue anticipating slicing and dicing my through all soon-to-be-not-comers.

And if you (or anyone) has a question about anything OR anything I've shared or hinted at, within reason, I certainly don't mind sharing at all.

Thanks for your kindness, as always Tango

 

haha both? why not both?

The part I posted most recently was far less objective and more laying into all of the ridiculousness I created AND in return, the ridiculousness I've been faced with more or less for those 90 days.

Fun fact, AFTER I posted in my 'Ad' thread that I was flipping my sign from Open to ‘Not sorry I am closed’ ….within a few hours, I had Imagrande Dickforbrains (of various usernames) messaging me telling me they were "really interested in what I had to offer"

As I said, if a sub who approaches ACTUALLY READS THINGS, it's like they just discovered cold fusion in their mom’s basement and they took a break from it to whisper me the cheat codes to the game of life itself. A literate, almost competent person is sometimes too much to ask for apparently.

maybe the jokes on me and they just want me to get some more ‘Yo Get’ at the closest TCBY and instead of it being some highfalutin yet innocent yogurt den, they are winking at their buddies for ‘Takin’ Care of Business Ya’ll.’ I’ve almost fallen into Imagrande’s trap many times.

not anymore!

It sounds absurd because it is:

Imagrande thinks to himself “I really need a cockboss”
Then proceeds to spam women and women-adjacent individuals online with a broken engrish poorly constructed copypasta.

Truly unique.
Not special unless they also have …. “needs.”
Just unbelievable.

Anyhoo— so glad to see the Captain enjoyed and got a kick out of my rambles !

 

Also, had a silly thought .
(Edit: this made more sense when I used my emoji keyboard but after posting realized most do not show on CM so that’s why I got long dumb []’s)

I don’t at all mean this seriously so if you’re upset by any implication , I’m not sorry — I’m just being a stupid , mildly r-worded goofball.

why not introduce new flairs on the site ?

the GGs have a Verified Female tag but it’s so mysterious from the outside ::makes spooky hand gestures :: So….. are they taking pics of their ladyparts? I mean — that’s their thing and all and obviously their right, but what’s the actual criteria? I don’t need an answer, it’ll ruin it for me.

Also— Seems like a fun sorority , truth be told!

I don’t care to see but that’s surely not what the dumb and poorly constructed thought I’m making here is about .

anyway , assuming in my headcanon that this is the case and that they are verifying themselves with PPs(pussy pics) , those that are certified Imagrande status should just have a poop emoji frowny face with a dookie brown box around it. Frowny face with tears around it would be bonus points !

this way all potential KHs would be immediately aware of their presence so they can disinfect the surrounding area once the threat has passed and not even engage.

I say: chastise their ability to waste time ! Let them rethink their “uncle bubba’s used car emporium and diner” approach to marketing themselves and push them towards the light they may never see !

furthermore , I would then vote for at least two more verified tags

. ✅ [insert shrimp emoji that doesn’t work on CM here] verified shrimp dick, caged as it should be. No one’s got any cocktail sauce either , so it’s going to be a VERY common one.

Also would tickle me to no end if you scrolled through the SPH sub forum and see a bunch of ✅[insert shrimp emoji that doesn’t work on CM here] ’s by their names.

the only other tag would be a ‍[insert lady shrug emoji] for “don’t know haven’t seen it”

I didn’t get this far with my stupid idea so this one is going firmly in the Miss Bella “box of analogies that played out exactly like a ruined orgasm does”

WHAT , no payoff? BULLSHIT!

but what else can I say ya’ll?

I can’t help it, I’m just an idealist.

 

Perhaps (or not) contrary to impressions I may give here....when I'm 'on a roll'-- I don't stop to proofread only because that's just delaying or stopping or putting a damper on other stuff that I could have spurting from brain to virtual page.

With alot of what I did, I'm sure (positively) that some and/or most would drive me nuts if I cared to dive back into it all individually.

While I suppose I do otherwise believe in 'quality over quantity' -- I have been on a very long writing hiatus not having written much at all in the last 10+ years even though writing was a lifelong passion of mine. For a lot of reasons actually. Lots of folks clearly have all of their thoughts swarming around but I kind of treat most of this type of writing as 'playing darts with my thoughts being the actual darts themselves, the blank box I'm typing in the dartboard.

Sometimes it sticks, sometimes it stinks, but I'll be damned if it doesn't feel incredible to make an effort to try.



Also interesting thing you shared about your wife-- does she also make you shave? Just wonderin'

 

The very best part of it is that is 100% copy/pasted from my conversations into that message … and a completely honest attempt to get me interested.

It really is like raw urban open mic poetry night right into my inbox which then had the joy of raw dogging everyone’s eyes .

Maybe the jokes on us — so subtly ridiculous that it HAS to be meta-commentary on the absurdity of ‘online relationships’ !