Is chastity what you thought/hoped it would be?

I got my dick pierced, I have told a woman all my fetishes, kinks and fantasies, and have given all sexual control to someone. I never dreamed I would do any of those, let alone the same person.

I have never been happier, and she told me the same. Not exactly how I had imagined it, somehow in my mind I thought my KH would be crueler, but I hit the jackpot by having a loving mistress that I can share everything with.

 

It's still a work in progress with the wife and I.

 

Its better than I had hoped, personally

 

We are both happy with it. Rejuvenated our marriage and has us both being more open with each other. It is not about being locked up, but the pleasure in the touch now that was missing due to lack of sensitivity.

 

Way different than what I thought. I initiated it as a kink/fetish and it opened up the whole world of Female Led Relationships and has taught me how to surrender. It has brought out a new personality in my wife I totally adore and now worship. Remarkable.

 

My boy and I are still trying to determine what works best for us. We both fantasize plenty about me being in charge and locking him away for at least a month, even as long as a year, but whenever we try to commit and put it into practice, things happen. He gets moody after several days and I feel bad, or he gets aggressive and makes me feel submissive, or I'm having too much fun teasing him and accidentally give him an orgasm ahead of schedule, or there's a weekend event we don't want to complicate, or...

We're figuring ourselves out. We're both switches, and whether we think it better for us to try for a long FLR term or "let ourselves be switchy" fluctuates. It's a journey, but we're on it together, and I'm so grateful that he and I have the closeness and trust that we do.

 

It is definitely different then I thought it would be. I actually thought it would be embarrassing. But I truly love it when he is locked up. I never thought we would let other people see him in his cage. We went to a bike rally and he wore chaps and cage. Some people were asking us questions about it and others were like hell with that idea. I actually like the thought I'm in control of his orgasms.
The Queen

 

It has turned out to be nothing like we thought it would be, we had no idea what a difference it could make within a relationship. If we knew it was this good, we would have started years ago.

 

She also didn't mentioned she told a close friend all about the outfit including the cage.

 

It is much more than I ever expected. We are approaching our first anniversary and, like @nvrsaynvr63 if I had realised the impact it would have I would have suggested it years ago. My Wife took several months to get to the point that we were doing this because she wanted it rather than just because I asked her to, but since then she has said that this is it, we are doing this for good and there is no going back. She is having far too much fun to want to stop.

 

I worried too much about "coming out" about my kinks. My wife likes the control and doesn't care either way about the kink. I know a few other people more into kink than me and I wish I was as comfortable as they are discussing it, exploring it...

Besides that, I did not think I would have bought about 6-7 chastity devices, got a piercing, stretched it etc. etc. and still not be able to wear one comfortably for long periods. It has literally been 5 years of trying devices and spending waaaay too much money.

 

In my experience it helps to keep your fantasies extreme and your practices sensible. With this method -- doable, workable power-exchanges get spiced up without the problems associated with unrealistic thinking. Put another way, if you lock your partner up, there's nothing wrong with him thinking/feeling it could be a year before he's released.

Flexibility sure beats rigidity, literal thinking, and real-life disappointments.

 

Chastity was perhaps the only major fetish that my wife and I have not tried in the last 45 years of fetish play. I though it was stupid since all of my life I was seeking more and more orgasms, not less. Without going into a long story (see my profile) chastity fit into our current life. I did not know what to expect since I had never gone longer than a week, if that, without an orgasm. No matter if it was post surgery in the hospital or in combat in Vietnam, there was always some way to have an orgasm.

I think this is the fifth week of no orgasm. I should get one for Valentine's Day. At first it was very difficult for both of us. However over the years we have adjusted to it. My wife loves, just loves to tease me. The last thing she will do each night is to kiss and fondle me. My wife does not dominate me or any of that stuff. She simply controls my penis and orgasms. Chastity has provided me with unexpected pleasure. I have grown to love being in a constant state of arousal. I enjoy the anticipation of an orgasm more than the orgasm itself. I do not feel like having an orgasm most days. I was not expecting this. I thought we would do it for a few weeks and then move on to something else.

I was into BDSM for 47 years but am too old to take the punishment I used to be subjected to. I am a sexual masochist but outside of sex I do not enjoy pain. Chastity appeals to my masochism without being whipped or sexually tortured in any way. I enjoy being denied and when I do have an orgasm I feel bored and non-energetic. I really miss the constant state of arousal that has me trying to get erect with a glimpse of cleavage. I miss jumping out of my skin when my penis is first touched during sex. If I did not become weak willed when I am edged for an hour, I would chose not to have any orgasms. I have even told my wife that it is OK if she wants to deny me pass the date I was supposed to have an orgasm.

My wife is having the most intense orgasms of her life and multiple ones at that. I think she had 10 last week but she says that is only the ones I know about. She is having a great time denying me after a lifetime of sharing her girlfriend with me and focusing on my orgasms. It is now her turn to be the center of attention and she loves it. I was not expecting any of this but there it is.

 

Yes, I think so, being locked as surpassed my expectations. My wife and I are still developing our respective D/s roles and chastity has been a key factor in enhancing our Domme/sub relationship. I fully expected, and I do, struggle from time to time in chastity but in the 'cold light of day', we both acknowledge that being locked for increasing periods of time has been good for our Female led relationship.

 

Much better, but different that I thought it would be.

I first wanted this for myself, thinking about my wife denying me orgasm for a while and wild wonderful orgasms when she permitted. I was a bit surprised that my feelings towards her were going to be so strong though! I literally can't stop thinking about her when we are apart, and I'm always touching her and giving her massages and telling her I'm so lucky to have her etc.

I was also a bit surprised that my need (want?) for an orgasm have almost disappeared. I really love this hyper-heightened sexual arousal, and wouldn't want to exchange it with a quick spurt of euphoria followed by a long down-period not being interested in sex.

I have also changed my mind-set from this being something for me to it being something for my wife - everything I do now is about her, without a thought to myself. Sure I will ask her if I can do some nipple-play on myself because I like it, but if she says no I'm still happy about it

 

So far I'm enjoying the sexually tension a lot .. I feel so close to my wife and just want to hold and cuddle her all day !!! I am also worked when I cum it will take a while to get back to where I am now . Mabe I can just have a ruined orgasom and lock it back up or mabe just some edging and lock it back up with no orgasom . Well that's my fantasy any way !!

 

I started with chastity strictly to stop masturbating. I never had any intention of it playing any role in our sex life. I had no "kink" for it. It was my wife who turned it into a sexual practice for us. She just plain likes it and has a really hard time having sex without it now. She would definitely never go back to the way things used to be.

So, yes, it is definitely more than I thought it would be. I thought it would just help me stop masturbating. I never considered that my wife would enjoy it so much. And I sure never thought that her enjoyment of it would lead to me being chaste for long periods of time.

 

Even though my wife and I had read and enjoyed numerous erotic novels or the personal experience of couples experimenting or utilising male chastity in their relationship on the internet. I did not expect or anticipate my wife saying one evening how much she believed that I would enjoy being restrained locked up and totally under her control.
Whilst she had already realised how submissive I am and that I preferred and enjoyed her taking the lead or control when making love this latest revelation was still unexpected.
Even though we discussed what she thought the benefits and advantages would be in reality our expectations have been surpassed and exceeded subsequently our relationship is never predictable or dull.

 

So far my experience has been anything but what I expected it to be . Of course my first bit of info came from tumbler lol I have enjoyed the teasing and the denial. But I have also enjoyed the spectacular sex !! Letting her have control of when we have sex has made a huge difference on how much she enjoys it . When I was the one always begging for sex she said it felt like a job. Now when she initiates it she really wants it . Since I'm also not able to masterbate now my orgasom was so intense !! I am so glad she was willing to take control of our sex life . It has been better than ever . So chastity is better than I have ever dreamed .

 

I think that the answer to a large part depends on how you are living (?) chastity and how long you are already into it.

In the beginning the CB was for us a kind of gimnick to play with ,bringing more excitement into our sexlife, but also a symbol of the powergap in our sexlife and al those things it fullfilled quite well. With time going by and things evolving you come to realize that things can be different, too. With denial perids expanding from some days to several months and at a time without any penile stimulation at all you come to wonder where all the fun is. But that just 1 side of the medal and just in the beginning before you learn to experience other things in a completely different way than before. And in this its a really good comparison to when you change a common relationship into a FLR.you will realize too, that it's for most part not only about fun and sex (even if it is so sometimes ),but when you are in ease with this (not all too surprising) fact it can give something else / more - something you couldn't get without.

 

I have and have always been into a lot of fetishes. My wife on the other hand was always old fashioned and naturaly submissive. She is in my eyes the perfect woman . She puts everything and everyone else's needs before her own . This is the hardest part for her
I want to cater to her and put her every want before my own . I want to give her pleasure without the pressure of having to return the favor. I so badly want a FLR in most aspects of my life . She so badly wants me to be the alpha I portray outside of our house . I would be happy to meet somewhere In the middle. Any advice always appreciated .