We are in a D/s marriage. Sometimes we devolve into vanilla, then realize neither of us really like the indirectness and misunderstandings of vanilla. My wife is interested in keeping things D/s. I am interested in the sexiness of a dominant woman. It's symbiotic. We have been D/s lately but felt we would benefit from a stronger dynamic. There will be far less mercy and rewards and far more service and suffering. After a comment I made about my alpha and beta sides, she put it eloquently: We need to drive out your alpha side and leave only your beta side and make sure it stays that way. Music to my ears.
Yes, Mrs. Lilith, Our efforts are around normalizing our D/s, so that eventually over time vanilla becomes weird. These are not written down, like some set of rules, but they, in essence, are the things that are being done: 1. My Mistress tells me she will keep me in chastity forever. It's what she says if I inquire and I am expected to show willingness to accept her sentence. However, she hints at times that I can earn an orgasm by continuing to be good and obedient. So I know it probably won't be forever without an orgasm, but it will be wearing it forever in that I have to put it back on right away after she allows me to use my penis for her pleasure. 2. She is going to have complete control over all finances. We go to the bank on Friday to remove my name from the bank account. Only she will decide how we spend money. My purpose is to earn money for her, not us, not me. This step, we feel, is important because it, more than any other, locks us into her control and is difficult to reverse. 3. She is getting older and says as she ages she is less willing to compromise on what she wants. She has a certain lifestyle that involves me as her personal slave. As a result, I am expected to do ALL the household chores and cook when ordered. Still, she realizes I need direction and she will tell me or make lists of the chores I need to complete. I appreciate her guidance. 4. My free time belongs to her. She basically wants me thinking about her ALL THE TIME. At work, I have blue balls and all my earnings are for her. At home, all my free time is about pleasing her. She does allow me to go exercise (I enjoy the outdoors), but this is also about caring about my body to please her. In bed, for example, she smothers me in her breasts and twists my nipples to cause cage pain. She has been really good at making me think about her all the time. 5. I must ask to sleep with her. If I am good, I get to sleep in her bed. If not, I get locked in a closet where the doorknob is reversed. On weekends, she makes me wear a butt plug, just to enforce her will. 6. She enjoys racking more than any other punishment, so I fear her wrath. For real, not play. So far, since our new efforts, I have avoided the penalty. I hate getting racked (but I like her dominance, of course.) 7. This is a rule: I can never end our D/s relationship. As a slave, there is no stopping slavery, no freedom. I can ask to modify the slavery, but I must trust her to know what is best for me for the remainder of my existence. It's really about complete surrender. I am OK with it. 8. She controls any alcohol consumption I desire. No beer unless she allows it. I love how I feel owned. I hope this answers your question. I feel like a cornered and captured man, a victim of her sexiness. - Slave to Wife
Hello slave to wife, I really like rules 1, 2 and 4 and of course 7 (!). The others are a bit "weak" to fit in between. I really think that those 4 will be perfect to form a FLR. I would say that 3 (household chores), 5 (sleeping) and 8 (alcohol) are included in 4 (free time). But still it's a nice set of rules. Lucky you. Imhers
Thanks. Yeah, I guess despite my lengthy post with its points, I left off the No. 1 thing that grows our D/s dynamic: the way she talks to me. Even on small things. She might be in bed and using me for a pillow and watching TV, then mentioning that tomorrow I need to do some errand. I get told what I will do. The vanilla version asks. It's less attractive, less strong. I like how normal it becomes to be ordered to do even casual family stuff.
I totally agreey, I had this feeling once when I was "told" to get her a new cup of tea. Not sure if she was recognizing at all, that I liked this way to talk so much. The problem is, that she is a very very polite and friendly persons and I think it is just not her way to talk. And as I am seeing this the FLR as small garden which we both need to work on, I don't want to mess things up beeing to pushy. I think you're a lucky man and some light years ahead ;-) you're rules 4 & 7 and so powerfull. Hope to be there one day. Imhers