We are in a D/s marriage. Sometimes we devolve into vanilla, then realize neither of us really like the indirectness and misunderstandings of vanilla. My wife is interested in keeping things D/s. I am interested in the sexiness of a dominant woman. It's symbiotic. We have been D/s lately but felt we would benefit from a stronger dynamic. There will be far less mercy and rewards and far more service and suffering. After a comment I made about my alpha and beta sides, she put it eloquently: We need to drive out your alpha side and leave only your beta side and make sure it stays that way. Music to my ears.