I am the male half of a couple just broaching our 50's and consider us to be a fairly vanilla couple. I am new here and to the world of chastity. Our journey.... 20's newlyweds and the sex was great. Three times per week. Wifey cums 1-2 times per session. 30's building careers and raising kids. Sex is two to three times per month. Wifey cums 1 of every 3 sessions. 40's work pressure and kids in college. Sex once to three times per month. Can't make wifey cum with my cock. During the 40's we tried some different things to help my wife cum. More oral play and I started using a larger strapon for missionary sessions, which happens to be her favorite. With an average sized cock it was the only position I could ever get her to cum and I think it was due to the friction on her clit. She enjoyed the strapon for a while but feelings of guilt had her asking for my cock vs the strapon even though she wouldn't orgasm with my cock. I developed some ED issues a few years ago and most PIV sex now ends in me losing my erection during. Her pleasure only comes with oral or a combo of oral and dildo and we have only had PIV sex maybe 5 times this year. I have turned to masturbation as my primary source of release with an occasional handjob or ball squeeze from my wife. I don't hide my masturbation from her and most times I do it while we are in our bed together. We had a discussion about curbing my masturbation back in April feeling that if I didn't self please 5 times per week then maybe I could keep erections for sex with her. During my online research, I found an article on chastity by Key Barrett which I found intriguing. I also stumbled upon evolvingyouman.com. I felt like this was the answer. I gave the article and a how to start guide to my wife and she thought I was crazy. I ordered a CB3000 and she agreed to hold the keys for one month of denial. Wifey has teased me about my cock size for years since she can't cum with it any longer so the normal teasing and two edging sessions got me through a rough 30 days (the CB design is not comfortable for long wear periods in my opinion). She held the key but didn't quite get into the whole back and forth like the start guide suggested. I don't think she ever realized the power and control aspect of keyholding. That was my first time in chastity and the control reversal was intoxicating for me. We put up the cage after my 30 days ended but I am having a deep desire to do it again. My wife likes control and is a strong type A personality. I am more of a negotiator type so I feel like we are 70% to a FLR as it is. My masturbation is almost daily again and I told her I may need a lock up again. She said she thought the cage was weird even though we have done it before. I ordered a stainless cage and when it arrives i am going to ask her to lock me up and be firm and relentless with me. I would like to hear feedback as I am nervous that this time I may be biting off more than I can chew. I love the feeling of giving up control and the power she has over me when locked. I enjoy and miss the feeling of having a cage over my cock. I also know the agony and feel it my be a more permanent part of my life this time if she realizes the power/control equation. I feel like I am about to step off the ledge.... Excited and nervous.
My stainless cage came in today. Super excited. I did a quick try on and it fits great. It is sooo much more comfortable than the CB3000. Has an integrated lock and is a short version. Recently I've been hinting to wifey that I needed locking up again. It has been several months since she has seen me in a device so I want to go slow. I put on the CB last night and will likely wear it a few days before I break out the steel. This morning when I was stepping out of the shower in my CB she said "look at that shriveled up little dick".
Sounds like the stage is being set for your new adventure. Best of luck and hope she is not only more receptive to the idea but sees how it can benefit her as much or more than you.
Good luck! It sounds like you are getting there. I would say that most of us in long term lock up have had the "Be careful what you wish for" thought, but eventually resolve it, and it becomes part of the fun.
You may find your wife will prefer the look of the steel cage. They have a sexy medieval look to them.
@MrsBR_Saiph you we’re right. She saw I made the switch and said “it looks like something out of a porn movie...so shiny”. It’s a short version and holds me in tightly. As we were running errands this weekend she called me “tiny” when getting out of the car. I asked what that meant and she pointed to my crotch and said “you know....that’s gonna be your new nickname, Tiny”.
Yesterday morning we had a frank discussion about our sexual history. I know I was part of the problem that created her not being able to cum during PIV and now she has some resentment issues with that. I realize how selfish I was then putting myself before her all those years....an even now with my frequent masturbation. I told her the device helped me. She has noticed the increased attention but has not yet realized how this benefits her. We didn't talk about it anymore yesterday and I rubbed her back as she went to sleep and again this morning. One key is on her keychain and the other has been on her nightstand since I locked last week. She had an early day today so I helped her get ready and was ironing her clothes naked when she walked by and gave me a strong smack on the ass (taking that as progress). I had planned to unlock after she left for a nice masturbation session with the key from the nightstand. I then realized that was the selfish me and I chose chastity to help me change behavior so I put the second key on her keyring leaving me without access to a key once she left. I had some anxiety after she left knowing I have zero control but feeling better now that I am at work and staying busy. The journey continues.....
Just try and keep it simple for now and make sure she knows you desire her and are excited for an unlock and love making any time she wants.
Wife had a late client appointment last night at 7pm. She said let's meet for dinner after and I said you know she is gonna talk more than an hour, take your time, I will pick up something. She got in at 9pm a little tipsy from the wine so we went straight to bed. It had been a long day for her, so I started to rub her and asked if I could make her feel good with an orgasm. The answer was a quick firm NO, maybe tomorrow she said. We spooned for about 10 minutes when she reached and put my hand on her hip (her signal) so I started rubbing her pussy and ass from behind. After a couple minutes she lifted her top leg and started rubbing her clit while I worked from behind. Minute later she rolled over and I positioned myself to finger her when she pushed my head down. I grabbed the large dildo out of our bedside drawer and started worshiping her with my mouth. Once she got heated I slid in the dildo in tandem with my mouth until she came. When finished she rolled over to sleep leaving me throbbing in my cage. Bliss!!! Btw, she gave me another smack on my ass this morning while I was ironing her clothes naked and caged. ; )
Things change on a dime!!! I had forgotten that we were dog sitting for another family member for the next 10 days. We already have a small dog of our own but not too needy. The one we are sitting is very attached to my wife, so now we have two dogs in bed with us for the next 10 days. Last night when we all got in bed the dogs were playing a bit and my wife looked at me and said, I will see you in 10 days! It hit me like a ton of bricks. I am currently 8 days locked with no cock attention and now I may even lose worshiping my wife orally for the next 10 days. After the steamy session we had the night before it was a real gut check.
Wifey said this morning while we were in the shower together “you need to take that thing off your dick”. She followed up with a comment that she thought it might hurt me over time. I’m gonna have to have a conversation with her about why it is important for me to keep it on....and ask for her support.