After a stop start entrance due to a holiday break, today marks my first full month in our new chastity journey. Pierced chastity. It feels 10x more real than it ever did before and the denial has been excruciating. But what have I been denied of? That’s the question that’s been plaguing me. In the 32 days that I have been constrained thus far we have found a new love for CBT, an increased enthusiasm towards bondage play, I’ve been pegged more regularly than at any other time in my life and with each occurrence I have ejaculated (I’m one of the lucky ones). She has been open to orgasms, although in the context of most fantasies these are considerably less common than the 5-6 a night a read about. There has only been one restriction, I remain caged almost exclusively. Just once she has allowed me to enter her, with Emla cream to avoid orgasm and too much satisfaction. Hygiene breaks have been granted for 15 minutes (maybe a day or two after) post-orgasm. Last night, (and I posted a question about finding this very situation) we did a much frowned upon act; “A quickie”. In the missionary position. For all intents and purposes my wife and I had had intercourse. In a twist to our old routine of penis entering vagina, she donned her strapon and took me, it didn’t take long before I had climaxed and although she didn’t, the warmth and sexual intimacy was clearly at the heart of our evening. Positioning through sex can have a drastic impact on the feelings that transpire, and with her holding herself close to me I felt safe and loved. We haven’t lost the ability, although strange to some as it may appear, to make love! Her new terminology for pegging me is now “sex”. That’s a normality that will take some getting used to. So, after all this I have never felt more driven to please her. She has responded with a level of respect and care that I couldn’t even have dreamed of. But why? It wasn’t like this when I had pleasure on demand prior to chastity. She doesn’t control my actual orgasms, she actively encourages them when she takes me. If I needed, I have access to many prostate toys suitable for the job. What power does she wield? What level of control does she actually obtain? I can only come to two logical conclusions that go hand in hand with one another; my erections and physical stimulation to my penis. That’s all that has been taken away. When we ventured into this lifestyle it was always with the view to orgasm denial, but I’m starting to understand that to me, there needs to be a change in thinking. A different perspective. Chastity can be sexually fulfilling to both partners whilst maintaining the necessary pent-up tension and admiration out of the bedroom to deliver on its promises. There does however, have to be some sacrifices in way of ‘being a man’. Without my erections there’s an element of frustration during every sexual encounter and delivers in creating a situation where there almost can’t be too much of a good thing. With each one I still feel that I need the hard pulsing blood flow in my penis to really enjoy myself to conclusion. The orgasms are different, they’re better but completely non penile-centric. The ejaculation is a bi-product of my own enjoyment that goes beyond anything I have experienced so readily before. It’s not the sum of the equation and even if it wasn’t present there would be no loss to the activity at hand. If I over analysed it, I would compare it to a female orgasm against another that squirts. Although my wife is not a squirter, my partners in the past have told me that the occurrence adds little to the overall enjoyment. It’s just a fun quirk that takes a little more cleaning up. If these experiences and climax are better, the need then for an erection is just a legacy of a different time… but, I still feel that I need them! For as long as that feeling remains they will continue to be a driving factor. A treasured occasion that will only be granted through the complete satisfaction of my wife. On the other aspect of denial; the lack of contact. Each caged orgasm breads a yearning for more action. In the aftermath I grapple with the consuming desire to be touched; To have some sensation against my sexual organs beyond the titanium bars. To feel her soft caress against my hard shaft - any part of her would suffice. Without the physical stimulation there is no ultimate satisfaction. It just doesn’t feel whole. It’s a yearning that can last far longer than any sense of fulfilment, it almost becomes consuming. The warm embrace and gentle kisses deliver something far more potent than this, it’s why we continue in this life, it’s the goal and so it makes me ponder almost amusingly at why then it is so hard to achieve contentment in receiving everything you have ever asked for? The knowledge of this achievement in these moments are scant consolation against the loss of something that was previously so trivially granted. My fantasies have been reduced to being allowed from my cage and being handled. A soft brush of her tongue against me. Her hands running the entirety of my shaft. That’s all I want. I don’t even know if I want the resulting orgasm. I just crave that attention. Things evolve over time and I am under no illusion that things will always be this way, this isn’t the end to our sexual journey. The ultimate conclusion. As really, how long we can live on the memory of what I have yet to receive this far? How long can my fundamental need to feel fully erect without this being in turn granted remain a driving force? Will my mind simply give up the notion to desire it? Will resentment set in? Will I get annoyed that she just won’t touch me? Her game will have to evolve. There maybe a time to reward my efforts more fully and to re-etch a glimpse of a different satisfaction into my mind. I have no doubt my wife will prosper in this, but for now after what has only been a month; She has me completely! All it took was a small needle and the confidence to forget about the key… Oh, and a really expensive cage! I hope you enjoyed my ramblings. Thanks for reading.
Love it! All I can say is, "You can climax way too easily!" I don't know whether to be jealous or not! When your intimacy becomes that tender and loving, nothing else really matters, does it? Yes, there is the constant desire to have an erection, to be touched. But that keeps the rest of it magical. The lack of an erection seems to keep everything else in proper balance and focus. Once he's let loose, he becomes center stage and it's hard to maintain focus on anything else. I wonder how she would describe her experience over the past month and what differences she's seeing now.
Very interesting. I'm glad you guys found a way to achieve a closeness while still not doing things the traditional way.
It’s fair to say that my wife’s views on this lifestyle can be summarised much more succinctly than my own. I brought up the timespan with her, asking if she was happy that it had been a month? “Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?” That was all she responded, and as she didn’t venture into giving any further detail I decided not to push for more information. She is definitely more within the ‘just relax and enjoy it’ mindset than myself, she is the @LesterBallard to my IB-chaste. She just doesn’t entertain too much discussion. It ruins it. That said, a question like that would trigger some motion in those hidden cogs deep within her brain mass, there would be a curiosity, an interest, a concern that I had asked posed the question? Whilst massaging her feet she brought the conversation back around, “Are you still happy with how it is?” I gave her the briefest summary of my thought process, that it had been an amazing month but I’ve never really felt satisfied. She looked worried. I should choose my words more carefully! I explained in more detail that the frustration is a construct of the erection denial and how I long to be touched, it’s how I’m never really losing motivation despite all the fun we are having. Smiling, she ended the conversation, “Just the way I like it” I don’t think I will ever get her in-depth thoughts on this way of life, how it affects me, what she enjoys, why she does it? Frankly, I don’t think it matters so much. It would just give me something more to ponder upon. Would I be happy if she was doing it for me? Would that make this a selfish way of life? Would I be content if she did it to alleviate the guilt of all she asks of me? Should she feel that way for getting the best of me? I would be flabbergasted if she admitted that she just does it out of sheer enjoyment… she just doesn’t vocalise her views on sex. It will forever be a mystery. What we do both agree on quite clearly is this: we’re both happier this way. Now, it sounds like a blessing, yet imagine this; everyone of your favourite interactions reduces in length each time. You can no longer look forward to the simplest of actions that you crave as they will be over almost before they have begun. As this level of denial progresses there is a knowledge that at some stage I will ejaculate before she has even taken me into her hand. She had me that way before and I feel that’s a mission of hers, she enjoys the ease of completion. It’s amusing. For me, it just breeds more frustration. It does however, create the positive cycle that is at the heart of our interactions, and so it’s fundamental In our lifestyle. If every pegging, every torture session, every caged orgasm took a lot of effort - If we had to put a whole evening aside to do so, she would be turned off by it. Our activities have been streamlined organically to the ones that we enjoy but don’t take a whole lot of effort. So far (and even prior to this month) we’re basically down to just four; pegging, safe-word play, intercourse and sexual massages. There’s variations; different outfits, different toys; different positions etc, but all of these actions take place in a very simple way. The toys are organised, a tray for each one that can be placed at the side of the bed. Her wand remains plugged in at all times (how we get away with that and having children is an art form.). Her outfits are bagged and sealed together so she doesn’t even have to rummage for matching accessories. My more extreme toys have their own home. Yes, I may have OCD, and organising in this manner may feel like a chore that takes away from the acts… but in the heat of the moments it’s a blessing. Anyway, back to the positive cycle. As an example I’ll go with pegging: Previously, when it was all new she would put her strap-on on (and become quite aroused, she likes wearing it and I’ll never understand why.). She’d bend me over and do the usual styles you’d see in a porn film. It would never really be over. When does that end? I hadn’t climaxed. The vibrators that fit into her harness are not powerful enough to bring her over the edge. It was just an action, until we started experimenting to find different angles of entry. Different attachments. Different toys; The aneros, a rotating massager, her fingers. We tried everything until we knew what was the right way for us. Over time my body began to accept the pleasure of it all more readily. I learned to climax from that alone. (I’d say it was the same sort of mission that you have with your nipple play, once obtained the can of worms is opened. There is no going back.) So now, she can wear her harness. We can make love, I’ll climax, and she’ll more see positive interactions from me. Both emotionally and in acts of service. She’ll do it again as it worked. It won’t take as long. She gets the same treatment. The frequency increases… the length of action gets shorter, my body reacts more quickly. It’s now even easier for her and I am left even more frustrated (although satisfying in its own way.) Again, the frequency increases. With each action we build on our sexual intimacy, the feeling of denial lessens but the frustration remains. It all becomes more loving. More natural. Overtime I’ve become confident enough to ride her, this allows her to use her wand and the whole experience becomes a two-way event. Seeing me react, and the pleasure it delivers creates an excitement to her. She climaxes faster this was than any other. So yes. I climax too quickly but it is both a blessing and a curse! I ramble on way too much.
Same thing with D. Which is why I posed the question. I think we just wish they would think about our sexual intimacy more the way we do. I think I would like it if she commented about it like she does a good meal. "Oooh! That really felt good!" "Mmmmm.... I really, really enjoyed that!" "Hey, let's try that again sometime soon!" There are so many times I wish this was true for me. I''ve settled that I'll never get that orgasm from nipple play alone. And maybe that's a blessing. I do everything to keep them as sensitive as possible, but it just isn't happening. It must be an age thing! I wish she could see the way I react when I give her an orgasm. Those are becoming my preferred method for being teased. The pleasure of her pleasure, especially since she prefers my fingers over anything else, really makes my little guy slobber all over himself! I think the novelty of her teasing me and making me moan has worn off a bit because she doesn't get as aroused from that like she did.
It’s frustrating. I’m probably the same. We cuddle and enjoy the moments after but we don’t really discuss it or comment… I mean sometimes I do I guess. One time I didn’t message her the next day to thank her and tell her how amazing it was. I nearly always leave before she’s awake and I was just busy at work… she scolded me for it when she saw me! She needs the validation, but I have to live without it. It hardly seems fair. I thought the same. I just considered it couldn’t happen. Until I realised the magic of making it happen is to not try and make it happen. It’s all about forgetting about your penis and just enjoying the feelings of what’s occurring. I am too good at it now, you’ll probably remember my journal entry when I ejaculated from just her sucking my nipple and caressing my thigh. I just overcame that element of control I had over myself… I hope at some point it may return. My time within her (if this ever really happens now) is defined by my stamina. If I can’t control myself the cream does. I get maybe two or three strokes before I have to stop and she doesn’t allow me to continue doing that over and over. That’s not fun for her. What I’m seeing though is more beneficial than this. When I see your entries it appears that D is far more sexually accepting. She will allow pleasure without delivering your own, that takes confidence. She appears to save that for mutual occasions. It could be worse.