Who does not enjoy paying for sex in any of its forms?

No, thats not just You! Its me too .... and I think many others more feel same.
There are two possible judgements: is it true or not?
If its not, Im not interested in ..... If it is, it will have my full attention and makes me able to turn my inside out.

After all those Years I even cant watch porn or photso-sets without getting angry deep inside myself! All these "perfect" Ladies there .... screaming, moaning, acting like horny maniacs ..... up to 99% I dont even see a wet pussy! Its a dry moneybusiness, only slippery when creamed.
Theyre steady looking straight to the camera, try to build up personal binding .... embrassing tongueplay to show the "heat" ..... look, its me, that horny, willing slut staring deep into your eyes because I WANT YOU! No babe, you dont want me, im sure hahaha. And same things I see on that vanilla porns are given in SM porns! "Mistresses", looking like and doing things a real Mistress would rather die than do!

Sometimes I think it would be better for me if I werent like this .... if I wouldnt give a damn about all of this .... could fade it out or even had never ever noticed about. But most time I am proud of being like I am!

Its not just you!

 

Another vote against paying for sex here... not up for it, not fooled. Paying for some kink on the other hand - that is going to see a real life domtx is something I have done. No sex of course. They expect you to top from the bottom, but either way they do it well. Mine does anyway. Virtual domtx? Nah, not for me. Money badly spent and all the bs alluded to in the posts above still apply imho.

 

Is it the paying for it part that bothers you, or knowing they're not really into it? If the latter, what about porn? Almost everyone you see in the industry is faking it. Does that stop you from enjoying it? Or do you just not buy pornography, but watch it for free online?

What about non-porn entertainment? Do you avoid movies because they're not real? Do you not read books if they're fictional? If a waitress smiles when serving you, do you think she's being phoney?

I'm bringing up these examples, because in every case, it depends on how far you want to go with your belief (or your suspension of disbelief). What's the difference between paying Tom Hanks to pretend he's an astronaut in trouble and paying Mistress Maria to spank you? It's a slippery slope.

If you engage the services of a professional entertainer, and you enjoy what they do (with no one getting seriously hurt), is that a bad thing? Why or why not? I'm not challenging your point of view; I probably agree with you to a large degree. But I think it would be interesting to examine why we feel paying for sex is bad, when paying for other forms of simulated experience is not.

 

i spose it depend on the Mistress you might go and see. Mistress and me sometimes goes to a pro Mistress that She knows and lots of men goes there as well and She has got Her own sissymaid who i helps in the kitchen when we goes there.

 

Good questions Billus... for me it's not the faking it so much as the paying for it. If I see a dentist, I don't expect them to like me, I just want to get my teeth sorted out well. I can't do my own teeth. I can't strap myself to a cross and have my dick electrocuted (for example) - I'd pay a professional to do that because my Mrs/KH probably wouldn't. Maybe she would and not even take the cage off - I've never asked her.:spank: I can't pay somebody to have a loving relationship with me, if I have to pay somebody then it's not the real thing. Perhaps it's pride, perhaps there's something very basic about being a 'failure' at some level if you're unable to have the real thing.
Thought provoking stuff...

 

I love this discussion thread, thanks oldtimer! I have never found the idea of paying for sex appealing. I think that some of us that share the "chastity bug" have a harder time objectifying women. I think paying for someone to be intimate with is a huge turn off, but that's me. I also understand the difference between a professional dom and a prostitute. Never tried that either, but it seems more an expression of kink than a paid-for sex act. This is an awesome topic for discussion and I am anxious to hear what others think.

 

Great Question Oldtimer - However, I am not sure many of the men who pay for a session with a Pro would understandably admit It here.

I have no personal experience but I think there are a huge number of male subs who would pay a Pro to temporarily satisfy and fulfil a craving, no matter how short lived it is.

 

Sure there is, but with all three it's probably safe to assume that they are not interested as you as a person. Alan made a good point about not paying for a loving relationship. I agree, and doubt many people would pay a prostitute or pro domme thinking that it would be anything other than strictly business.

If you need that spark that comes with interaction from someone who genuinely cares about you, paying for sex is probably not even on the table. Conversely, if you shell out 'cash for gash', personal intimacy is probably an alien concept to you, either giving or receiving.

 

Intimacy is many different things to many different people. I, like oldtimer, far prefer (or need, even) a loving intimacy but I also enjoy some sex-doll intimacy when the mood takes. I couldn't just 'have sex' - it would leave my soul shivering. It's easy to conflate having sex and making love - for many people the two are synonymous but usually this is because (a) they've not really thought about it, (b) it's how they've been trained to think by those peddling sex (in whatever form) for profit and (c) therefore they are conditioned to believe that it is what they need.

This is just me talking. I have a friend who I think has only ever 'had sex'. It's all performance driven for him and, hell, he appears to enjoy it. He has 6 children by 2 ex-wives to prove it. Intimacy for him probably has a very different meaning.

 

The premise you have about pro-dommes is a very unfair generalization. Many pro-dommes have close and caring friendships with long term clients. Some are sweet caring individuals who form long term relationships with their clients. The more successful pro dommes offer services that may often be viewed by their clients as comparable to counseling or therapy. Some pro-dommes form friendships with their clients that involve seeing clients as friends outside of payed sessions. I would also suggest that many / most pro-dommes do not offer sex. It is not fair to group pro-dommes with prostitutes as many pro dommes don't engage in sexual services at all.

 

I agree Urcatcher... we are all human beings etc. but I wouldn't expect a pro-domme to actually like me in order to conduct the business transaction. Any more than I expect my dentist to like me. Many dentists are happily married and love their partner, some of whom may have been their patient. I'm sure the same is true for pro-dommes. I don't think I put pro-dommes into the same basket as prostitutes... certainly not my intention. I am well aware that sex is not a service most pro-dommes offer and perhaps I failed to make that clear. I have used a pro-domme several times and paid for strictly non-sexual services. I have never paid for sex with anyone. Many people do (it is the world's oldest profession) and it must deliver something to the clients. Whatever it is, I am unable to appreciate it.

 

@alan,

"So I am very curious about other's experience with paid Mistresses or similar. How to you bury the feeling that it is all an act?"

My reply to this is that it is not necessarily an "act". A client can be genuinely submissive and genuinely enjoy bottoming just as a pro-domme can be genuinely dominant and genuinely enjoy topping. The way a pro-domme "tops" may not be available to a client in his or her other relationships. Successful pro-dommes are very skilled in how they practice BDSM and with clients that they enjoy seeing, their "play" may not be an "act" and may involve a skill set. I would suggest to you that if they cannot enjoy their "play", they will not be successful pro-dommes. It is not difficult to tell when someone is "faking". There is a lack of chemistry, a lack of energy, a lack of passion. Great play sessions are likely as draining and cathartic for the pro-domme as they are for the client.

 

Maybe so, but a domme may see several clients a day; it would be unrealistic to expect them to be fully invested each and every time. With a skill set and experience comes the ability to perform even if not in the mood to so do. To use Alan's example, can you tell if your dentist has a headache?

Not to say a pro-domme does not enjoy their work. I'm sure many do, especially the better ones. But when I engage the services of a professional, no matter what field, I'm going to be much more interested in what they can do for me than in contemplating their mindset. If they can fool me (or perhaps, I'm willing to be fooled), then so much the better.

 

Paying for sex is not something I would consider. I can't see the point in having sex with someone that is not going to enjoy it. Nor would I be able to get out of my head the thought that the increased likelihood of catching something, possibly something doctors can't fix. like herpes or AIDS. I doubt that I could relax with someone who was just going to give me pleasure without me penetrating her either.

Don't get me wrong I really do respect their courage and I do know that some of them are terribly abused by pimps or whatever but no not for me thanks

Too many hygeine concerns, not enough mutual pleasure going on. I don't think I'd want to even touch them without a pair of industrial strength washing up gloves.

To be honest I don't think I would want to have sex with someone I was not in a realtionship with, just too shallow.

Each to their own. Someone in the military, in a theatre of war I can well understand the fatalistic point of view of take your pleasure when and while you can. Some one that is for whatever reason devoid of human contact, tactile skin on skin contact I can understand them paying for the time and the contact a professional would provide, the sex would incidental and hardly satisfying, relieving perhaps but far less so than masturbating.

 

you boys are so funny, you pay for sex everyday. you pay for everything your Mistress wants, or most of you do anyway. i know if i ask for anything, my slave does everything to make it happen. and i respond by giving him what he craves, well, what i want him to crave!

 

i'm another one who hasn't and wouldn't directly pay for sex or sexual services. For me kink and BDSM is (at least) as much mental as physical. i need to feel that the other person is really getting off on controlling me. Paying them - as pro Dom/me and/or keyholder - would make it difficult for me to believe that. i know most pros say they enjoy their job and i'm sure many of them really do. But paying would prevent me from getting into the headspace.

i should stress that i have no objection to any of these things - prostitutes, pro-Dom/mes, paid keyholder services, etc etc. There are great people in all of these trades. What they sell just isn't right for me.

 

I'm with Ms. Linda on this one. Casual, in the moment sex can sometimes be relativly inexpensive, but the rest we pay for. If you are very lucky and do well you may get to pay the same woman for thirty or forty years! Mr. Masoch says something to the effect that man desires and woman is desired and that is her whole and decisive advantage. Wonderful things are always at a premium and the many joys; be it emotional, spiritual or sexual that a woman brings into our lives is priceless. All things considered, I'm somewhat amazed that they talk to us most days.

 

I would be paying her and so ultimately she would be doing want I want.
Her taking any pleasure from our time together would undoubtedly be faked
The whole idea seems most unsatisfactory to me
Nor does paid for Keyholder holds no appeal.
Each to their own and good luck to them but only within a relationship for me thanks.

It is a relationship that I seek. I'm highly confident that over time I could get a new partner to become my KH
I'm not seeking a KH that I probably would never be able to form a proper relationship with.