This is Tough....

I don’t see a 90 day lockup with zero unlocks for teasing or anything ever happening for me. My Wife read all the chastity books and even the Happy Marriage thing, she does it the way she wants.
I’ve done a few 50-55 day no orgasm stints, and I’m locked 24/7, but if she wants piv a handful of times a month, she unlocks me, no O for me of course. And she enjoys edging me at least once a week, so at least I get that.
We’re into year 5 of using the cage, and it got serious about a year and half into it, Wife in total control but we still discuss wants, needs and expectations for each year. Of course I submit to her and obey.
I really don’t know if I could handle 90 days of lock and forget, hopefully I’ll never find out, losing orgasms is one thing but no erections for that long would be brutal!

 

No masturbating, solo or supervised. A little bit of piv but stopped well before the edge. She played with my balls a lot. She sucked, stroked and hurt them frequently.

I had opportunities when I was alone and unlocked where I could have got my self off, but I honoured my commitment to the denial. I never cheated.

She never really brought me to the edge during that period, any penis simulation was brief and over long before I approached the early stages of imminent orgasm.

 

Some days can be really really hard, yes. If you're committed, you'll find ways to cope. I try to keep myself busy and a really hard workout helps a lot too.

Also martinis.

 

It is tough and I’ve never had to go longer that 2 weeks. Actually as of late it is every 2 weeks. The hardest part is giving my Queen O’s while locked up. I always hope maybe she will let me out this time. At the same time I love it. I love pleasing her. It’s very unsatisfying getting that worked up with no release but also very erotic and a huge turn on. My Queen had recently talked about this 3 month lock up. I don’t know where it stemmed from but she said we are conditioning for it.

 

The 3 month thing is out there now. Credit to the author for getting countless men to be deprived of an orgasm for three months and many probably thinking, "why? What was the point in that?" It's like Scottish Munros (mountains over 3000 ft). When you pick a hillwalk you want to do a Munro even though there could be longer distance more beautiful mountain walks nearby. It's out there and you are just drawn (or forced ) to do it if you are serious about chastity. I did think, "what was the point in that?" after my intitiation? Then I found out It's only Munros from now on. There is no gold at the end of the rainbow just more chastity.

 

I don’t really understand this idea of not being able to do it. It’s like any other addiction. You need tobacco/alcohol/crack/lotterycards/checking your Facebook page because these things have got tied in with your dopamine reward system. Same with orgasms. But you can unhook if you persist with abstinence. No one NEEDS orgasms any more than they need chocolate.
Of course you might WANT them, in which case, have them.
In my case the whole self-gratification through drugs and wanking thing, which is crudely physical, has been replaced by something that’s far more about emotion. I always did value the feeling of arousal more than the rush of orgasm and eventually found a context in which I can have the former constantly without ever having the latter. For me that’s a liberation. I’m not trying to sell it though, or claiming to be on some sort of higher path. It’s just my peculiarity, and each to their own.

 

Agreed each their own. That said I'll never give up orgasms altogether. I'm in chasity in part to make them better when they happen. Not hey I'm bored, house is empty ill rub one out. They mean something this way.

 

Totally get that. From what you’ve shared elsewhere it sounds like you have a wonderful partnership. That’s what makes this whole strange field of adventure rewarding.

 

As it happens my first (and very intense) infatuation was for a very pretty teacher called Miss Munro. The fact that she was a teacher and I an 8 year old boy had much to do with my subsequent lifelong eroticisation of unattainability.

 

We have talked about the 3 month thing but never seriously considered it. It’s fun to think as we are having sex to imagine her saying to me this is going to be last orgasm for 3 months. In some respects I am glad she doesn’t really get off on denying me. But she likes that fact I am kept for her.

Now if she said to me I’ll only let you out if you beg to be released, and I accepted I am stubborn enough to last a long time. The longest I have gone without orgasm is 5 weeks which wasn’t too hard.

 

Tough? In the space of 4 years my orgasms have gone from around 365 a year to 4.

 

definitely!

 

In the scheme of things 90 days really means nothing. That’s not the part that is tough at all.

At first overnight is tough, a few days is tough, a week is tough, a month… eventually you just get used to it. The first few days feel tough as you’re used to being free. You want to have that back immediately. It intensifies over the week… but once you’ve done months on end, you don’t ever get that same feeling by being caged alone (without a good period of freedom preceding it).
Being caged initially pushes all your buttons… until it just doesn’t anymore. The length of time becomes irrelevant.

The aspect that’s really important is how much you want that freedom. How much you crave that orgasm.
(Pretty sure my favourite caption is still “Real chastity begins when you want out.” - wish I’d wrote that one!)

My wife, and I’m sure countless others that really understand the lifestyle know that the sweet spot is exactly when it is tough. That doesn’t take time. It’s an understanding that frustration can be created in the moment, over a weekend, over the course of a week. It’s the knowledge of how to push your buttons knowing you are caged, uncaged or in between and still not letting you climax. Keeping you on the edge.

Yes, that’s when it really becomes tough!

 

That dude is good at sounding authoritative but also good at generalizing but a lot of what he says is completely contradictory to my experiences. Those comments legitimately sound like someone who's either never actually experienced "enforced denial" beyond fantasy.

IMO: If you're good at it, it never gets easier.

 

What dude?

 

“Real chastity begins when you want out.” /QUOTE]

Yes that's probably my favourite too and a bit of a personal mantra. Today I've neither felt sexually aroused with being in chastity nor frustrated. Nothing really. That's not wanting out either though so I let this day pass in chastity but this day has nothing really to do with chastity either other than being caged... though a satisfying day none the less for other reasons ending with a nice conversation with my gf who is staying at hers. I sometimes do want out but what I want won't affect whatever my mistress plans for her willy, or more likely decides at a whim based on her needs. I believe if she never wanted to play with her willy ever again I would never get a sympathy release. She does not believe in any of this edging stuff, and "oh, the regular teasing makes it SO much worse" stuff. She doesn't find "edging and teasing", with her willy being the centre of attention, particularly interesting. Last night we had a chilled pjs night playing yahtzee, she even let me out of the cage for a couple of hours to let her property have a rest. This only happens when we stay together of course as I'm supervised then. She ordered me to strip and cage up at her feet as usual and as soon as I was caged crushed my balls with her toes, stamped, squeezed and punched them for about half an hour. That's my typical teasing as she enjoys that. Too late to be allowed to give her oral as I was working early she didn't allow it.

I like some of IB Chaste's ramblings, well thought out and written. I hope as it's mostly sub males here discussing with one another here we're not trying to vie for authority. I know I feel a need to write too to get out some of my chastity induced energy rather that annoying my mistress with it, although I do that too.

 

I'll never get all the journals and blogs personally. How many it's day 9 I'm horny posts does it take. We had an active weekend don't feel the need to journal about it. As far as authority goes I think it's the opposite. Who can be the most tortured, longest longed or endure the most. Which is actually kinda sad as some stuff here if true is bordering if not outright abuse. Im submissive to one person my wife and have made it known i don't believe in some blanket notion of female superiority. Or any superiority for that matter based on genetics or gender. Your actions make you superior not being born to something you had no control over. I digress however it will always be tough. First it's a week, then two then a month. There will always be a new mountain to climb so it'll never be easy.

 

Yeah there's one-upmanship on here I agree. This is a chastity forum which I would call a fetish, and I would think many login to get their fetish ON. And although just male chastity alone does not necessarily = bdsm, if it's the former it's going to be a bit, "Day 101, did all the housework."

I'm in chastity, what are we going to do in the meantime? Torture, humiliation, degradation and sleaze! Of course I want to be the most tortured slave on here and have the most sadistic mistress. But always happy to be one-upped in others writings... and get my fetish ON! There's people playing 3 word story kids games on here. Buy a horse-crop ffs!

 

That's not everyone's deal though. Not everyone is a masochist or their kh a sadist. It's what works for the people involved is what matters. Not how they go about it.

 

The OP mentioned 3 months seeming a bit daunting as he's starting out. I'm just saying if he realises that 3 months have passed and he's buried in sand up to the neck wearing nothing but a cage, head surrounded by scorpions this is the right way of doing it and when you hand that key over eventually it will happen anyway as you become too submissive to resist.

 

I'll never become so submissive over an easily broken lock. I do what she says because I enjoy doing it. Even times I don't and get pissy the times I love it outweigh it. If I'm told fuck that dude or wear this dress I'm not playing along. She only has the power you give her.

 

Wow! First time I’ve been called a fantasist on here. That’s new.

I enjoyed writing my journals at the time. I rarely look back on them now but I imagine they’ll feel as alien as if I was reading someone else’s entirely. Situations change and feelings towards being caged certainly vary over time.
You should read some of the good journals (not mine), they give good accounts of how this scenario fits into relationships and the positive and negative aspects that it entails. It was good for me to read some and understand it wasn’t all plain sailing.
That’s why I always tried to document the downsides to being caged even when I much preferred to write in detail about our sexual exploits. The times it didn’t go so well and how I felt when the situation wasn’t working for me.
If I was a fantasist my journals wouldn’t end with me breaking my lock with pliers out of anger towards my wife’s attitude or discussing taking a break because too much denial was detrimental to our relationship overall. We (she) always comes back to it though… even when at times I’m wondering if this is even good for me anymore, when I’m dying for freedom and to be able to climax by my own hand.
That’s the real story we want to read. How our partners change in their feelings towards chastity over time? Why they decide upon that course?
Problem is, we find it very difficult to get into their heads and there are very few journals by genuine females.

I also find the ‘I’m so horny after 3 days’, ‘I’ve locked overnight and had to take it off’, ‘I’ve got a small abrasion so the cage is removed again’ kinda posts pretty tedious too.

I think my point in all of this is that you get those plateaus over time where chastity just doesn’t feel tough. You feel like you could go forever. The importance is really in the external factors of the cage…. Not the cage itself.