I first introduced my wife to the idea of chastity about 20 yrs ago . At the time she just thought it was weird and had no interest. A couple of years later when encouraging me to quit smoking she suggested I could buy a cage with the money I save . we looked on line at the few devices that were available at the time , even the full steel belts like my-steel and neosteel . Eventually we settled on the cb3000. The day it arrived I fitted it and she clicked the lock in place , it was unlocked a few hrs later for love making and it wasn't re fitted. I self locked for a day at a time on and off for a few years. saddened by the lack of engagement I wrote her a letter explaining my desire to be locked for her , I absolutely bared my soul in that letter ( only recently did she tell me she doesn't think she ever read it) About 10 years ago I bought a book " male chastity, a guide for keyholders" she read about 75% of it one weekend while I was on a lads weekend. Again it was another false dawn. over the last 15 yrs or so I've tried 20 plus cheap cages mostly poor quality but about 4 yrs ago I found one that was actually quite comfortable so I started to wear it everyday day . 2.5 yrs ago I ordered a made to measure from BAW and I've been in it pretty much 24/7 since. every time in the last 4 years that we make love she has found me locked. She accepts it but has shown no interest it. The last 2 yrs she seems to be happy to see me locked on these occasions but is always keen on me unlocking. Since the start of the year I have become very interested in FLR and have behaved as if I'm in an FLR, on holiday I bought up the subject and she said she would look into it . I have no idea if my actions have made a difference but a few weeks ago when making love she was genuinely excited to pull my boxers off to see the cage locked in place . I made a comment along the lines of I know you still find it a bit strange and she answered with " oh no I fucking love it " that's the first time in over 20 yrs she has voluntarily made a really positive comment about it . She knows I'm locked 24/7 and likes the idea but isn't yet interested in taking control for herself. I know to many on here this may seem insignificant but to me this is a huge leap forward. I know it is unlikely that she will become the whip wielding mistress of my dreams but I love her with all my heart and just hearing her say she loves it is a huge boost and a step in the right direction. if you made it this far thanks for reading this , for obvious reasons I don't have anyone to share this with so thought I'd post it on here as it seems to be a genuinely supportive community.
It’s been a long journey for you. I fully understand your struggle and I know how the setbacks can eat away at the relationship, the same way moving forward with a positive response from the wife can put you on cloud 9. You have a lot invested at this point so you might as well stick with it and see where it takes you.
Thanks . It took many years for the penny to drop that I have to make it about her , not me. Ive explained that it's my way of saving myself for her so as she is my only sexual outlet. She does seem to appreciate it but it would be nice if she engaged a bit more.
I'll definitely stick with it . After wearing it mostly 24/7 for 4 years it has become part of who I am and who I want to be . I honestly don't care if she lets me cum weekly or annually so long as she shows some level of engagement.
Big progress maybe she has other things on her mind and doesn’t know how to do it. Who knows if she eventually would be into it. Since she accepts you are being locked up maybe she could accept to keep the key safe until next time the two of you are in bed together.
Thanks . If I'm honest my wife and I are very similar, we will both avoid things we find awkward rather than facing them head on . She is aware of my submissiveness since we met 30 yrs ago and she has been aware of my interest in chastity for over 20 yrs . If she finds it uncomfortable to get involved she won't until it is something she is very comfortable about and it will be baby steps occasionally. But I love her and I will wait.
Understand perfectly it’s has a tiny degree of tabu. I mean think it’s great she is accepting it without fully attending. Just the fact she likes you wearing it says a lot. Maybe try to leave the keys somewhere maybe she would pick them up at some point. Else you could always play with those online keyholding sites like emlalock can be quite fun actually. For some reason I think her baby step could progress into something when she gets over the tabu.
It's odd how so many of us feel comfortable talking to a complete stranger about this, yet struggle to mention it to our nearest and dearest.
Makes me realize I'm lucky she got on board so quickly. After an initial wtf why whatever order it. As soon as it went on she grabbed keys took control.
I asked recently and was told she didn't want to . The key is always on show on my bedside table . She knows it's there , I might just put it on her side of the bed & see if she takes it .
I once was going out a with a girl who was kink friendly. I made a promise to myself that I'd be honest about all of my fantasies and activities. It was such a liberating experience and no doubt made the relationship work much better. It was nice not to have to feel the need to hide anything. That's intimacy. Having said that, at the begining I was petrified she'd leave me as I confessed the things that turned me on. It also made me feel much more trust and vulnerability around her, as she could read me like a book.
I'm genuniely surprised more women don't demand it. It must be very empowering for them. And, if a woman has locked a man before, and seen the changes, I expect she'd want every furture partner locked. Generally vanilla women, or women in general, don't want their partners cheating, or masturbating when they are not around. I never had a problem with the former, but with the latter, my inability to wait has annoyed many ex partners.
I'm very lucky as she was/is vanilla asf. The turnaround surprised me as well. Think she realized how much it benefits her. Hope your situation improves
I think she like the idea of me not masturbating and she will like the much reduced likelihood of me cheating but I think that's where the interest ends
I think for her not being able to cheat was beginning. Now though I'm way more helpful around house, more patient and attentive and foot rubs are endless lol. Maybe she'll come around in your case.
The trouble is the often quoted benefits she has had since the day we met 30 years ago. Within a month she found all my femdom mags, I've always been good with cleaning, shopping, cooking etc . The only benefit is I'm not masturbating and cheating and she has been getting that for years. She is very very well aware how important it is to me but progess is still so slow. She might she an interest if she finds me jerking off but I don't want to go down that route
That sucks. Guess being lazy paid off for me lol. Really though seems more we push more they resist. I barely even mention chasity with her to not overwhelm her seems to work best in our case.