Why do you like being caged?

I started this thread and I want to thank everyone who responded, I find so many similarities between my female sub's thoughts on denial and that of the caged males who responded on this thread.

For some background, I am a male dominant with a female sub and she has been on orgasm denial for the last year and eight months. She does not wear a chastity belt, she is on the honor system. She is not allowed to touch her vagina for any reason other than personal hygiene and she is not allowed to orgasm without permission. For more details you can read my introduction post.

My sub has written about how she feels about being denied at various times over the last 20 months and I am copying some of what she wrote below to contribute to this thread. The rest of this post is copied from her words, not mine...

To me orgasm denial is just another way to please you. I don’t need to orgasm in order to feel satisfied and happy. And I am happy to give you complete control over my orgasms. I will not ask for it. If you want me to have one you will allow me to. I like you having that control. I feel very aroused even when I am not around you but when I talk to you. I don’t know if that’s an effect of the orgasm denial. I am very shy so I don’t usually tell you that. But I want you all the time. I can feel you right now. If that’s a side effect of the denial, it’s a pretty good one. I personally think that I am always focused on you, and I don’t need any extra help to make sure that you get 100% satisfied. I feel like I’m getting an orgasm when you do anyway, I love it when you fill me in with your juices. I feel it all through me, I love it, and I love listening to you while you are doing it. So I am getting a different type of orgasm, very strange but it’s how I feel. I really like that you have that kind of control over me, I don’t get frustrated, I actually like it and I get horny. I want you to make the decisions about my orgasm, about sex and about everything. Knowing that you cum nicely makes me happy, my body feels it all though and I do get my satisfaction from knowing that I made you feel good. I am happy when you are.

I don’t get frustrated or upset or in a bad mood when I don’t orgasm because to me the physical act itself is almost not enough, I get so much deeper satisfaction and more fulfillment from what I call “mental orgasm.” I like His control and authority over me more than a physical orgasm. I like to feel His authority pressing down on me and taking over my mind and body and taking away my desire to have an orgasm. My Sir has all control over my mind and body and He has trained me so that I don’t want to have a physical orgasm. It’s not that I want a physical orgasm and I am holding it back, it goes deeper than that, I no longer want it and I don’t let the physical response of my body control my mind, He does. My body feels pleasure during sexual activity and the physical responses and urges are there but the mental desire for a physical orgasm is not there and I don’t want the focus on pleasing myself to take away and distract me from pleasing my Sir, that feels selfish.

I have been on orgasm denial for quite some time now, probably 8-9 months. I am also ordered not to touch myself so everything I do is no touch. It took awhile to get used to no touch. He always said He wants me to forget what it is to touch myself, and I did. All of my senses are hyped up, I can feel everything first in my vagina then all over my body like a warm wave to my head and back to my vagina. The simplest thing could be a trigger for me to get excited in most inappropriate places, and then I cannot stop it, it goes on and on for hours. My vagina is swollen. I can feel the throbbing, I can edge in a split second (no touching). This continues for the entire day and more. I think about my Master and boom I’m drooling, I get wet and my mind is preoccupied with him in all my holes. My heart beats 100 miles an hour and I am having a mental orgasm picturing him releasing his juices inside of me. I am in a constant state of arousal anymore. I am ready anytime, anywhere for Him to do whatever He wants with me. I love this feeling. He is inside my head all the time and in full 100% control of my body and its reactiveness.

My orgasms have never been very important to me. Rarely I think about them, and I never tell myself OMG I need to have an orgasm in order to function. My man's satisfaction is what is important to me. When I am with you I never even think about myself. I think about what you may want, what you like and how to make your experience with me better and more satisfying to you. When I get an orgasm, before I was on denial, it didn't feel very satisfying, it was not something I was looking forward to and think about and crave. When I was with you (at the beginning) after you got yours and only after that, I felt more like I am complete and even without a full blown orgasm I was happy as if I did get it. Since the denial, I feel more comfortable, less pressure, more like this fits me better. I like the control, the thought of how you get to deny me this so human action… that is actually so arousing, way better than a 2 sec orgasm. Your control, your ownership of my orgasms is what's driving my mental orgasms, what makes this entire experience that much more satisfying to me. It's sexy and arousing and gets deeply into my mind and touches my vagina and comes back and it's way more than a simple orgasm, it's a spiritual feeling of fulfillment.

I realize that as much as I like denial, I may need occasional orgasm, because physiologically that's a way of releasing some stress and pressure. And that glove you came up with was brilliant. My mind had a hard time allowing my body to get going, until you repeatedly assured me that's ok, this is the time, the glove is my way to orgasm. I like that you made a clear differentiation between being allowed to via a glove and no glove no orgasm. So when I want to get in a mood now I also think about your glove. It's special and it's a special kind of release because you allowed it to happen. It's not about the orgasm, it's about you allowing it, it's your 100% control over me and my body and mind.

I am quite happy that you put me on denial. Without realizing it, subconsciously I wanted that. It is extra special knowing that you control even such a primal thing. I don't get frustrated or anxious or needy when I am denied orgasm. I think about you a lot, I have nice warm thoughts about you and your penis. I get aroused easily as long as I'm not under a lot of stress from work, I can say that I'm aroused almost always. But I've had some stress lately.

I think that because of the denial I am able to get to an edge so quickly without touching. There are times that I am under constant edge or close to edge, to where my vagina is throbbing and is aching and wants you so bad, nothing works to stop it. I'm certain that's a side effect from the denial. I have never experienced anything like that feeling of constant arousal close to edge for such a long time before. It's so much better than just a simple good old orgasm. Things happen now in my mind but also I do feel physical effects as well. My vagina gets really excited, opens up and is very ready for you. I can feel a warm feeling from the vagina going up my body and then back down and making me throb and swell. It's a very different feeling, I love it so much better than just an orgasm. It's the build up in the body of sexual energy that is so special and invigorating, and mentally it is amazing… I have said before I do have mental orgasms. It's the sexual energy in my vagina put together with my mind playing gymnastics that makes an amazing little explosion in my head. And the best part- all that can last for a while.

So I love being denied orgasm, I will never ask you for one. I feel like this is your prerogative to allow me one or not. I like that feeling that you own that part of me (as well) the complete control over me, my body and my mind. It's perfect. I was meant to be controlled by you. I wouldn't want it any other way. And I am getting excited writing about all of this. My vagina is throbbing now. Also when I do get an orgasm by you now the release is so intense, I haven't had such strong orgasms ever.

 

I think you put "normal" in quotes to indicate that there is no such thing as normal because everyone is different and there should be no judgment about what is "normal" and what is not, and on that point I definitely agree. I really do not like the word "normal" in the context of human relationships. If you like being caged and denied, then that is right for you and that's it.