Advice needed please.

We're pretty new going on a month in. She has me on my longest one yet, 7 days. Before it was maybe 4 or 5 at the least. Got the point across at least in my case.

 

I would say slowly work up to longer times and don’t tell him what it will be

 

On a related note she has me roll dice to kind off pick my own fate. Started with one dice if she felt number was too low she'd have me roll again. Added a second dice this past time. If I begged or got annoying she'd add a day then take it away if I started acting right.

 

Some opt for a long initial lock up (90 days or whatever) with no release other than for cleaning, etc. I never did that. We worked our way up to longer and longer timeframes. Also, I make a big distinction between unlocking for some teasing (frequent) and letting him have an orgasm (infrequent). I've found that the teasing just adds to my level of control.

For example, if right now the longest is 3 days locked followed by an orgasm, maybe try as the next step 1 week until an orgasm, but with one or two unlocks for teasing during that week. Even if you got no further then that you'd still be very much in control. But if it goes well then you could aim for 2 weeks, etc. Experiment and find out what works best for you.

If you don't like the idea of unlocked teasing at all, then 1 week might still be a nice target. But make sure you do something during that week to keep him aroused (verbal teasing, dressing provocatively, having him please you, etc). Lock-and-ignore is a recipe for failure.

 

If it was me I would give him a good head trip, and tell him how much you like it he stays in chastity, and reward him super extra when he stays in longer. ;-D

 

Perhaps something like tell him need to go 7 days and on the 7th day tell him you changed your mind he has to go 10. Release at 10 for a couple of days. Then without discussion tell him to put cage back on, lock, and say he will stay locked for somewhere between 7 to 14 days. Dont tell him a specific day/time. Extending but not all the time will eventually take the question of release off the table. It shouldnt be something known ahead of time.

 

Two weeks is probably a good goal if you think he's up for it. A lot depends on him what he can tolerate.

 

First welcome to CM.
To reply to your questions...
There is no such thing as: "my husband can only go several days without release." Of course he can, he just needs your help.

The initial break in period is to make sure he can wear his cage comfortably for a week. Once he can do that you can begin the initial lock up. Some women make this 3 months long to really break his habit of frequent orgasms and to show him you are serious about his chastity. But the other members suggestions above are also good.

The main thing as MsPamela wrote is "But make sure you do something during that week to keep him aroused (verbal teasing, dressing provocatively, having him please you, etc). Lock-and-ignore is a recipe for failure."

Once you have imposed the initial lock up, then you can set a release schedule to suit you. That might be monthly or longer it is up to you.

Have you got him to sign a Chastity Contract? Doing that will make him commit to your new regime.

Good luck.

 

I'm in my initial phase right now. We got the cage in September and fooled around a little. Actually, we tried several for fit and comfort before the one I'm locked in right now.

At the beginning of October I had my last orgasm to date and my wife has decided that we are aiming for an initial 90 day denial l period before we consider whether I can cum again. She's teasing me a lot and has unlocked me to edge me a few times. I've been told to get her off with vibrators many times and also been forced to stand at the edge of the bed and watch her masturbate.

I've got to say that I'm enjoying it immensely. I feel so much more focused on her and everything just feels right. I'm in no rush to be allowed to orgasm right now.

So long as she teases and aroused me daily, I feel I'd be happy to live like this indefinitely.

Of course, I'm only 30 days in, so that may change.

 

Not knowing your husband's age, I would suggest 2-3 weeks denial as a starting point. He needs to get to the stage where his body is constantly reminding him that he needs an orgasm. I've heard it referred to as the bees are buzzing. That is the stage where all the fun is.

Once he's there, you need to give him a steady diet of pussy worship. Act dominant, make him do it at the snap of your fingers. Tie his hands any time you uncage him for some teasing.

Find out his fantasies. Most importantly, have fun.

 

Not knowing your husband's age, I would suggest 2-3 weeks denial as a starting point. He needs to get to the stage where his body is constantly reminding him that he needs an orgasm. I've heard it referred to as the bees are buzzing. That is the stage where all the fun is.

Once he's there, you need to give him a steady diet of pussy worship. Act dominant, make him do it at the snap of your fingers. Tie his hands any time you uncage him for some teasing.

Find out his fantasies. Most importantly, have fun.

 

Not knowing your husband's age, I would suggest 2-3 weeks denial as a starting point. He needs to get to the stage where his body is constantly reminding him that he needs an orgasm. I've heard it referred to as the bees are buzzing. That is the stage where all the fun is.

Once he's there, you need to give him a steady diet of pussy worship. Act dominant, make him do it at the snap of your fingers. Tie his hands any time you uncage him for some teasing.

Find out his fantasies. Most importantly, have fun.

 

WTF? Sorry about that.

 

I have to agree with the two-three weeks at first. Yes, he's going to tell you he needs to be out sooner. You need to make sure he understands that you're in charge of that thing now.

If he has an open cage, keeping clean will not be a problem. If you have him in a closed cage, you'll have to supervise his cleanings. Out for cleaning, then back in his cage. He needs to learn that his life now as a sub is controlled by you

 

Others have said 2-3 weeks. That would be good, but I feel it's the absolute minimum. 2-3 weeks will be difficult, but on a scale of 1-10, maybe a 6. To me, the point of chastity is to be challenged. I'm new to this too. Started right off with 6 months locked with release for play but that soon became too easy. Any length of time locked as long as you have release is not difficult. Although it will break habits and introduce compliance. I'd say 6 months locked, release every 6 weeks as long as the cock does not orgasm and is not milked during that interval. To make it more "fun", the cock owner should pleasure his keyholder daily for as long as the keyholder desires.

 

As many others have stated already on here, the initial "start up" phase seems to be when the cage is placed on him for what may be hour or a few consecutive days at a time. Thus allowing your husband the opportunity to become accustomed to wearing it. I would then suggest a gradually increasing the length of time he is caged. The longest I have been caged is a month, but only because I was a good sissy and my mistress gave me a "reward". Your husband needs to understand as you put it, who is in charge now and if he desires to be released or ejaculate, that will be up to you and on your terms, meaning your timeframe.

 

Well it was a good post, even better than New York, so saying it thrice was appropriate.

 

There is no set time. You, as a couple, set the rules. You're not training a dog here!

Getting other people's advice on a release timeline is pointless. They're not part of your life. Sit down with hubby and discuss the rules as they apply to your couple. Stay alert, and if at any point you feel things need to change, make them.

 

It will be easier for us to advise you if you can tell us why your husband can only go for a few days...

Is it becauise of comfort or skin issues?
Is it because of frustration, sexual urges?
Or something else?

Knowing why will make all the difference to helping you both to progress.

As long as there's no physical health issue (sores, bruises, cuts, etc), then if it's frustration that's making him want to be released, just plan on leaving him locked for as long as you can without a time limit. If he wants a time limit, give him one but don't stick to it, find an excuse to delay and extend it. If you think he's not enjoying it, then tell him he'll be released in a day or two, or the next weekend, then you can release him. The key, is don't let him decide exactly when, make it explicitly your choice, even if it is only hours or a day or two after he requesed it. Let him have his freedom for a short while, with or without an orgasm as you decide, and then lock him up again soon after. By making it explicit that you are the only one who decides when he is released, and always repeating it, then that will become your new normal.

By having short periods of being unlocked, you can form a double impression, the individual sessions are short, but the total time he's locked up becomes significant. He gets momentarily release, but also gets used to being locked up more often than he is not. After a while, like a wedding ring, he'll become more uncomfortable when he's not locked up.

 

I could not find any info on what type of cage you are using. Non-metallic ones usually need to come off every day or 2 o3 for cleaning. Most open metal cages can be kept on indefinitely.

If this is a new activity, start with a day, then a couple of days to get the scrotum skin conditioned and prevent problems. That also will tell you if the fit is good.

Then try a week. Take a break, then another week. Once you get that far, go for 2 weeks, then 4, then whatever you want. Once you hit the 3-4 week time, going longer is no problem.

As to letting him out & orgasms - you can plan what you are going to do, but not tell him in advance. You could also let him out and flip a coin to see if he is going to get an orgasm or not. You can also have him cum in the cage. A Hitachi wand can do wonders for a caged cock!

 

I would ask him why he needs to be unlocked. And then ask him what he is expecting to happen practicing chastity. Sounds like there might be a slight disconnect. There shouldn't be a physical need for removal beyond the cage not fitting correctly. But if it's only off for a short time and then back on...well, there you go.

Assuming you two have an understanding and agreement I'd set an amount of time longer than you have before and stick to it. Check both your status and then increase the time again. Perhaps when you get to X weeks without issue, you let him know he will be released when you're ready. (Let him know about that before you get to it so he knows what to expect.)

 

I wanted to echo what LeCouple said... IMHO it's the most important advice in this thread. Every couple has to find what works for them, and that will evolve over time.

MsIndeed - feel free to DM me. I'm always happy to share what's worked (or not) for me.

 

At a point my mistress made it clear that if I really wanted release I wouldn't be having any form of penis-centric with her. I would probably be having less of any kind of sex for taking away her favourite fetish. I could return to mastubating alone. I chose to stay locked as long as she desires. He has a right to be uncaged, he doesn't have a right to be rewarded with access to you body for doing so. I think any man who agrees to this can do a month if there's no comfort issues although 3 seems to be a rite of passage. It was for me this summer and my girlfriend's approval was some substitute for all the orgasms I was missing.