Ideas to incorporated lack of sex drive into loving BDSM relationship

I restarted this topic because the previous thread devolved into a discussion on gender, cures for menopause, relationship advice etc and was not discussing the original intent/question.

The topic is about ideas to incorporate lack of a sex drive into a loving BDSM relationship. What are your ideas for a couple to do kinky play where the Dom/Domme has no or very low sex drive?

I am listing out the ideas from the original post. Thanks to Jessica Alexander and for providing some of these ideas

1. Roleplay where the Domme is not interested in sex with the sub because he does not "please her." This could include SPH, denial of PIV or other humiliation.
2. Masturbation while the Domme watches and humiliates him verbally
3. Masturbation while the Domme ignores him and goes about her day
4. CFNM (Clothed Female Nude Male) Masturbation
5. Golden showers
6. Orgasm control where the sub has to ask for permission to masturbate and the domme decides if and how (Masturbation, humping a pillow, anally, etc).
7. Humiliation Task Day. You can have an orgasm if you do all your tasks to my specification
   1. Dressed for Humiliation (Sissy, DIapers, Etc) with plugs inserted maybe bondage that allows the tasks
      
   2. Inspections after each task and punishment if not up to standard
   3. Allowed to masturbate to edge after each task
8. Slave directed to tie themself up. (Domme may have to tie last knot)
   1. Dildo inserted in
   2. Massager or vibrator used to edge slave until orgasm
9. Tied in the bed of a truck for shopping
   1. Slave has to tie themself naked into the bed of a truck with a tonneau cover (or SUV with dark windows)
      1. Domme goes about their day of errands
      2. This can end in many ways
10. Permanent roll play scenario where she has a well hung imaginary boyfriend that is the only one allowed to have sex with her and you are only allowed hand jobs (or whatever she is ok with). If she doesn’t have to fear painful penetration, she may relax and enjoy intimate play much more. Good luck!

 

I assume this question is for Starflyer since he mentioned his wife but it looked like it was for me.

 

Thanks folks. I appreciate the comments. I am not looking for help in my relationship. We have kinky play quite often. I am just looking for more interesting ideas. My partner is doing all of this for me and I am trying to help as much as possible by coming up with creative ideas that put less work on her. I realize that coming up with an intricate scene and executing the whole role on the fly takes a lot of work and effort.

 

Interesting. How often does this happen for you? Daily? I can see with a some good communication and agreement beforehand some people might be able to channel that frustration/anger into play.

 

A couple of specific ideasfor #2

• Humping a fleshlight in different places
  • under a pillow on the couch (perfect height)
  • on the bed
• Humping the arm of a chair or sofa while caged. This one doesnt really work in a neosteel
• In the cage and using a very strong massger/vibrator
• Allowed to cum in a fufu clip with a vibrator. This one is interesting because the cock cannot get hard. Similarly you can only allow limp orgasms. I can have these after a period of no orgasms and the use of a good vibrator

 

@Shimone, Thanks for the reply. As I stated in the initial post. I am not looking for a cure. That is for her GP and her Gynecologist to figure out. For the time being it is what it is and I am not going to look for the medical solution. I also do not need to "communicate more or better" That is always the case but this is something that we talk about quite easily and often. I am sure that I can improve but I don't see it as the biggest issue here.

I am looking for different ideas to incorporate this reality into our life. We do rolepaying scenes at least twice a week. I just realize that it is taxing to come up with something new so I want help and I am asking here for help in being creative.