This question in not about cuckolding or permanent chastity. It is intended to be for couples who still want to remain intimate and sexual in a monogamous relationship. For some couples menopause means the loss of sex drive, no more sex and no more kink or at least greatly diminished. In a loving relationship this can be challenging to maintain the intimacy and closeness. What about ideas to incorporate the lack of sex drive into play? I am struggling to come up with many ideas that would be very little effort on the part of Domme who has lost her sex drive and who is probably not interested in some long scene. Here are a couple idea where the female has lost her sex drive and the sub will have to do most of the work. Roleplay where the Domme is not interested in sex with the sub because he does not "please her." This could include SPH, denail of PIV or other humiliation. Masturbation while the Domme watches and humiliates him verbally Masturbation while the Domme ignores him and goes about her day CFNM (Clothed Female Nude Male) Masturbation Golden showers Orgasm control where the sub has to ask for permission to masturbate and the domme decides if and how (Masturbation, humping a pillow, anally, etc). I can come up with a plethora of situations where the sub has to humiliate themself for the pleasure of masturbating and cumming. E.g. Sissification, doint chores in diapers before being allowed to cum etc etc. What other ideas are there, that do not overburden the Domme who is not interested in sex at all?
Have you talked with her about it? Maybe you can masturbate with her encouragement while you cuddle. Hopefully she sees value in maintaining intimacy even if she has no libido. Without intimacy, you are just room mates.
I may have answered this thread once before, please forgive me if I did. BUT you really need to look into menopause because it could be something as simple as salt intake or iron, I just forget now. But the moral to the story is a hundred years ago women had menopause for like 5 minutes and not 40 years. So something has happened and change that.
She should definitely talk to her doctor. There are many health benefits in taking hormone replacement therapy as long as you take the right stuff and the best stuff is very cheap.
in my life menopause became a late 30s nightmare, it wasn't just sex it affected every part of life. her hysterectomy ended our sex life for a time,we faded apart neary broke up .We talked about her disinterest in sex and came up with bondage and femdom still not her thing nut she began to like it
In our case - since sex was out despite hormone therapy - I couched kink in terms of things that would benefit her outside of sex. I was successfully placed in chastity and was her sissy slave as she saw how much more attentive I was under those conditions. The benefits of having a sissy maid became clear to her in that the house was kept much cleaner and many of her non sex needs were met. And even though she isn't interested in sex she still has a boyfriend from her sex days that she likes to hang out with, so that satisfied my cuckolding fantasies to some degree.
Thanks folks We are looking into medical and professional options. I started this post because there are others in a similar situation and there are people who are way more creative than I am. I hope to discuss ideas for more sexual activities that are "easy" on the Domme because lack of sex drive can make kink scenes a chore rather than a pleasure. We are very intimate and open minded and still play. We don't have PIV sex because it is painful and she has no sex drive. I was curious for more interesting ideas. I can also list several more scenarios, if this is of interest to others.
OK I went back and did the research for any one interested. Its as simple as 4 - 6 soft eggs (never fried) per day and wait for the change. Should be noticeable.
if she is up for it, make it a permanent roll play scenario where she has a well hung imaginary boyfriend that is the only one allowed to have sex with her and you are only allowed hand jobs (or whatever she is ok with). If she doesn’t have to fear painful penetration, she may relax and enjoy intimate play much more. Good luck!
My gf has gone through the menopause but still has a large appetite for sex, oral in our case. She doesn't like piv now but I'm not sure if that's linked to the menopause. I'm not sure how it compares with before but the past doesn't really matter now. Her lack of interest in piv took me by surprise as I assumed that would be how I would get released for an orgasm fairly regularly. This has enabled her to keep me locked up permanently which is a bit extreme but there's no negotiation. I'm either locked and she makes all decisions about sex or I try to quit but she's made it clear she won't reward that with any kind of penile sex. I'll still be licking her but without wearing a cage. I would rather take the first option.
i'm with someone who anticipates a diminished but not full loss of sex drive over the coming years. i do not milk during the intimacy we have now, when i'm unlocked and suitably erect for whatever she decides. Afterwards, i return to chastity. i hope to be given an opportunity to milk based on how well i behave in general and how well i serve Her. it's like Her honest review based on Her expectations about me, the person, the relationship, and sissymaid service. i strongly feel i should be milked only if she thinks i deserve it. i know i sound insecure, but i don't want to take anything for granted in our relationship and really need help and feedback from Her. OK so i'm more than a little insecure lol
Loss of drive and menopause is very personal for my wife and I. She is in her early 70s and I in my early 60s. Due to menopause PIV sex has been too painful so we just haven’t had it for almost two decades. Her drive increased in her 50s so I would go down on her and she would supervise my masturbation. She became less interested in sex the last ten years and now she may have an itch for the vibrator 4-6 times a year and not much interest in me at all. After many years of playing around with chastity solo, we started to develop a Queen and Knight style of chastity last year where I served her needs in the bedroom and she denied mine about 95% of the time. It was really getting exciting when I was diagnosed with prostate cancer and that threw a wrench in it all. I had it removed in April. Now that I’m finally able to have orgasms again (dry ones of course, without erections, and only with with a great deal of artificial stimulation), she is not even a little bit interested in resuming our fun. She has sales goals and grandkids keeping her occupied and I need to figure out how to start this thing over again. Aging is a challenge, but I am back to solo chastity and currently living vicariously through all of you and listening to your ideas. Here’s hoping to be back on track soon!
Ok. A few more ideas Humiliation Task Day. You can have an orgasm if you do all your tasks to my specification Dressed for Humiliation (Sissy, DIapers, Etc) with plugs inserted maybe bondage that allows the tasks Inspections after each task and punishment if not up to standard Allowed to masturbate to edge after each task Slave directed to tie themself up. (Domme may have to tie last knot) Dildo inserted in Massager or vibrator used to edge slave until orgasm Tied in the bed of a truck for shopping Slave has to tie themself naked into the bed of a truck with a tonneau cover (or SUV with dark windows) Domme goes about their day of errands This can end in many ways
I will just leave this here, hope it doesn`t complicate things I`m trying to keep it simple as possible. However I do think though that a lot of women these days are lacking in iron.
You not only appropriate the female gender you are also denying that a very serious issue that affects them exists. The menopause is real, I work in an environment where I've had to work around females with the menopause. They can't regulate their body temperature, I've seen this and have sat them down and gotten them fans and tea. You really are showing your selfishness here. There's a common thread running through this community and it's being kind to biological females. Why don't you put you own self-obssession to one side for a minute and actually care for half of the population? You're not female, never will be and can't comment on on issues of being female.
I don't mean to hurt anyone's feelings and any female that wants to be referred to as female I will of course do. I just think there needs to be a distinction sometimes from those that were born females when it comes to things like the menopause. My gf had it fairly easy but I've worked with women whom I've looked up to who have found it hard with foggy brain and decision making. Then the emotional upheaval but it's all life's lessons. Let's all just support each other through this journey we're all on?
Being part of an internet forum involves conversing with people with different perspectives. Understanding people may give you different opinions is why we are here. No need to get pissy
I think this thread has lost the plot. The point was to discuss different ideas for intimate BDSM play.
Correct. Except that is not what happened here. Someone stated utter nonsense that there is no such thing as menopause- that silly women are just lacking iron. If someone posted there is no such thing as being submissive or having high blood pressure would we cherish their different perspectives? No...
Sorry to hear my friend I am having a bit of a problem down in that area at this time but not like that, but my wife have almost lost total interest in sex of any kind so like you I'm in and out of self lock up so I know the frustration.