Why are you in chastity?

If I HAD to pick one it’d be 4, but it wasn’t an addiction and had zero effect on our sex life. My wife was fine with it and even occasionally encouraged it as it was definitely a stress reliever and a way to manage feeling “pent up”. Chastity for us started simply as an occasional kink that quickly spiraled into a 24/7 lifestyle once my wife found her footing and started to notice all the benefits she gets with it. Took her about two months.

 

Yes. She knows everything.

 

Then lock it up, give her the key, tell her to hide it, and ask her to help you learn self-control. Tell her you want greater intimacy with her.

 

Imma be honest, I initially got into chastity because I was a masturbation addict, but now that's kind of a non-issue

Honestly, I just think it's hot. The cage inherently just feels really good in and of itself. And I get a kinky thrill from wearing it in public knowing that nobody knows it's there. I don't need more reason than that

And if it ever gets too uncomfortable, I'm self-locked. I can just take it off.

 

How long did it take for you to get over that and how did you accomplish that? It was my problem too. Are you in a relationship?

Doesn't that get you more aroused and want to remove it and masturbate?

 

Way too long. I used to be so addicted that I would jerk off in the worst possible situations. One time I masturbated in an airplane bathroom using the excuse that I was taking a shit

The older I got, the more my rampant libido would subside, but even as recently as a year ago, I was still stuck in a routine of jerking off to porn at least once a day in the morning because I thought I needed it to relax and the rush of endorphins put me in a good mood. However, it also made me foggy headed and wobbly legged. So I was less likely to have a panic attack but at the expense of also being less able to function

What helped me the most was two things.
1 - I got into martial arts; specifically TaeKwonDo. From that, I finally figured out how to be more disciplined and have more self control. And I was able to apply that same mindset to my masturbation habits. I don't need to rely on the cage as much now because it's easier for me to just say no.
2 - I started working on a long term project that's more important than wasting my time and energy on fapping. Specifically, I'm trying to produce a music album. I've written over 20 songs and I'm bound and determined to get at least 12 of those recorded, mixed, mastered, and up on Spotify. But it's been taking a long time because I've been learning the software from scratch and honestly don't know what I'm doing half the time.

Thing is, looking back, there were generally only two things that ever really drove me to jerk off: stress and boredom. But now, I'm more able to regulate my emotions and therefore don't get stressed as easily and can calm myself down in other ways like yoga, meditation, deep breathing, stretching, etc. And if I ever get bored, instead of jerking off, I dive into my music. I can get lost in the recording process for hours, so it really doesn't even feel like a sacrifice

Also, I frankly just find porn kind of boring most of the time now. I've been jerking it to the weirdest most extreme fetishes out there for so long that I think I'm just completely desensitized at this point. Nothing really turns me on anymore. So there's really just no point.

I wish! I've always been pretty socially awkward since I was such an over-emotional loose cannon all the time. As I said, I've recently been getting better at regulating myself. And I've also been trying to make an active effort to get more involved socially outside the house. I like to play open mic at a local bar every other week (with my own songs of course) and it's pretty fun. I don't know if those efforts will lead to a romantic relationship. I hope they do. But honestly, I'm still not sure I'm ready for the real thing. I'd like to get more financially stable first for one thing. And I still struggle at making good first impressions. so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Yes, but that's kind of the point. As I said, I've gotten to the point that I actually find porn and masturbation kind of boring. It's too repetitive. Too predictable.

The only times it really feels worthwhile are when I slip into the old mindset where I'm so horny and lust driven that I can't think about anything else. From that mentality, masturbation is a blast (literally, lol). It feels great in those cases because it's a relief; like scratching an itch. But the older I get, the fewer and further between those episodes become.

That's why I still wear the cage sometimes. I'm trying to induce that lust fueled mindset so I can actually enjoy jerking off again. When everything comes together, it's an experience like nothing else. The only thing I can think of that might be better would be actual sex, but again, I'm not there yet.

I also kind of have a love/hate relationship with the cage to be honest. I have one of those safe boxes with a timer on it for the key. And I like to challenge myself, trying to keep the cage on for as long as I can. Yes, I always have to have a backup key on standby in case of emergencies, but for me, seeing that timer count down is enough of a deterrent from using it. I'm the sort of person that when I make a commitment, either to myself or to someone else, I do everything I possibly can to honor that commitment. I do my best to follow through. It's one of my best traits.

But even still, the longest I've ever gone straight with the cage on (not taking it off) was only about 4 days. And that's because there's a ton of issues that come with wearing it. The biggest one is the absolute hell that is nocturnal erections. That interferes with my sleep. And, well, I care about my sleep. I don't want to mess that up. Also not convinced it's safe to keep it on while I'm doing martial arts. And that's in spite of the fact that I went out of my way to buy a sports cup big enough to accommodate it.

Also, after a few days, when the cage really starts to do it's work, it gets really, really tempting to take it off and wank even if timer on my safe box hasn't gone off yet. After all, the whole reason I still wear the damn thing is to get into that horny mindset. That's when jerking it feels the best. But then there's the lingering worry that I'm jumping the gun and it might feel even better if I waited even longer and endured the discomfort of erections in the cage. But maybe by then I'd just be so worn out that I wouldn't feel anything . . .

Also, that's another thing, if I get too horny for too long while wearing the cage, then I basically get stuck with all the worst aspects of an orgasm (wobbly legs and brain fog) without any of the benefits (euphoria and relaxation). So it's also a balancing act. How much is too much?

But even if I struggle to keep the cage on, I still try to make it to the end of my self-imposed time limits at least through will power if not through the physical restraint. Easier said then done, but I try.

If I didn't have to deal with all the drawbacks of sleep deprivation, safety concerns, and the wobbly legs / brain fog, I'd probably keep the cage on a lot more often. But at the end of the day, it's a test of endurance and sometimes I just need time to recover.

Also, Ironically, I think the reason I self-lock is the same reason I probably wouldn't do well with an actual key holder. I got into chastity because I wanted to gain more control over my own sexuality. Giving that control to someone else is kind of the opposite. So if I ever had the chance to commit to such a drastic change . . . well, I guess I'll see how that goes. Lol

Even so, I still love the cage. It just feels good to wear

 

I'd be upset too if I only masturbated one time in an airplane bathroom. I'm well into the hundreds, maybe the thousands. But that number will never go up again ...

 

To put it simply me and Sara (my kh) have been together for 22 years we have a 2 lovely children together. But over the years are love life wained we stopped having time for each other. Everything become more important work kids school friends everything. We where going mouths with out anything. I didn't know what to do her depression wasn't helping she was miserable I have always been kinker then she has I got a cb6000 a few years go and tried it on a few time when she was out. I found out about locktober and was just going to self lock for the mouth when I got to the night before and she asked if I was ok and I just bust out and told her everything. She was shocked to say the least but she said she would hold the keys and we made a list for her to use so she want panicked. She was happy as it was 30 days to just make her happy make her feel valued wanted and appreciated and this is are 3ed locktober and she has hinted that November isnt going to be safe lol

 

All good wuest

ions! Lol.

 

Affecting intimacy is without a doubt a result of masturbation, I begged my wife to lock me up I was too wired for it, but actually wanting more of her attention, she agreed to wear the key on her anklet and as things unfolded she was the one getting more attention, I got my desires pleased by rubbing, massaging kissing her feet which I am completely attracted they are perfect… now she schedules me for her playtime and I am there to please her in anyway I can.

 

Picked 3 as was the closest to how we live our lives
I found a blog many years ago about chastity and asked shall we try that Picked out a cheap starter cage The naughty twinkle in her eye when she clicked the lock shut was all I needed to see
Obviously we both love the control side of things She loves to tease me and denial me She loves seeing my cock try to get hard in the cage just as much as I love the feeling of it
She will unlock me when she wants to use my cock not the other way round
But for us it's not just sexual it's how we live our life
We both like the fact we have a secret when we are out with friends or alone The naughty message
The feel of the cage when I'm alone reminds me just who's in control

 

Initial reason was my wife did want me to masturbate, especially when she was away. Since then it has moved into a submissive role.

 

Without discussing my origins of chastity, I think the best answer to this is simple.

I love living my life this way.

 

Because it's an exciting way to 1)exercise bedroom submission, 2) build her confidence and 3) experiment with the reported benefits of semen retention

 

You are missing mine which is blackmail.

I had a girlfriend years ago that was a switch like me. On weekends we would flip a coin as to who was in charge of the weekends’ sexual scenarios. It was a lot of fun for both of us. She started liking more and more intense femdom scenarios when she would win. Sometimes she would invite some of her like-minded girlfriends to join in the fun too. The relationship ended friendly but after she moved out I told her I planned to rent out one of my bedrooms since we shared the cost of the apartment. She said one of her friends that I had met and was looking for a place to share rent. I remembered her from just one of those scenarios as a tall sexy big tit blond and said sure. Two months of great sex later she was my femdom roommate and I was her blackmailed sub.

She discovered that I was playing a kinky version of Truth or Dare online. I let her watch while I was online. She took over my account and began posting Dares that players could request. She used these dares as a source of weekend entertainment usually for her and her likeminded girlfriends. She has 25 or 26 different cages in her collection and about 19 chastity related dares.

 

Did you practice chastity before you cheated?

 

No I did not. I did read about it and knew what it was. But I didn't practice chastity....
I am only to take the belt off when she is in the neighborhood and if there is a reason to get out otherwise it is locked. When I'm alone or out for work/shopping/etc I'm always chaste....

 

Because I`m an attention whore, giggles.

 

None of the options capture it for me, but @Elfman has pretty much summed it up with a line that is a bit of a "Catch all". It's the power exchange and the uncertainties that come with handing over that control, and the subsequent journey that has not been mapped out....