How was your relationship turned into an FLR?

My Fiancee introduced me to chastity, but I didn't really get into it with as much enthusiasm as I did when he later introduced me to an FLR relationship. There was no going back for him after that!

 

I am in a weird place since we haven't really fully adopted the lifestyle of Chastity or female LED relationship yet before I'm at my wife I had played with the idea and that's when I bought most of my cheaper cages and devices just to see what worked and what didn't and if it was something I'd even be into granted at that time I was my own key holder and it was more or less only used when I wanted to build up the excitement for when I finally decided I was going to allow myself to masturbate or something.

I had introduced the idea to my wife mainly because if I was left to my own devices I probably masturbate at least once or twice a day behind her back and that's going to ultimately destroy our relationship and just put a huge divider and separation between us. I have expressed why I believe there are benefits to it and I even wear it daily now but again at this point I am still very much my own key holder she has not yet taken possession of the key or any kind of real ownership of it so we're very much still in the beginning phases of seeing whether or not we like this lifestyle or not.

I typically get up in the morning shower to get up clean everything put my cage on for the day go to the gym come back home rinse off get ready for work usually I leave the key at home and my wife's dresser drawer do the whole day come home again shower off cuz I'm an auto mechanic and there are days where I get completely covered in coolant or gasoline or oil or something so I take a lot of showers to say the least and then I stay locked until she gets home and typically go to bed or unlock right before bed and repeat the process the next day it's not a secret that I wear I changed your anything and she's seen me wear it she's only ever asked if it hurts or causes pain but hasn't really said much about it other than that.

I have given her a link to a website with a lot of good information and articles I believe it's a very common one on this forum that I see gets posted a lot about the secret to a happy marriage and I'm not sure if she's ready or not yet I don't plan on asking eventually I'm assuming she will and I'm assuming a short period after that we'll have a discussion about it or you know what she thinks and how she feels about it.

I know for her she would rather me sleep uncaged so she feels my body versus a foreign metal object pressed against her but that's just where we are now so we will see how things evolve.

 

Sorry this was a double post and I had to edit it

 

Just to verify, just because you are in chastity doesnt equate to FLR correct? FLR is an evolution of male chastity that could occur?

 

Not in it but I like the idea, or at least during chastity sessions. Intermittent FLR? For training out some bad behavior and habits?

It's no go with my wife. She likes me dominant, with all my flaws.

Frankly I admire my wife's work ethic, time management, early to rise, early to bed, takes care of the family really well. I could use some FLR correction in these areas. I spent too many years as a bachelor up late playing video games, drinking, sleeping in. I ended up in a high paying job where I could just go into work basically whenever I wanted. I ended up basically working 11 to 7 PM for years and years. That schedule just worked for me. But it put me out of sync with let's say, normal society. I've slowly corrected over time since marriage/kids but I still tend to stay up later and wake up later than everyone else in the family. I know it's kind of pathetic for a grown man to need/want a femdom "mommy" to keep his sleep schedule but it is what it is.

I get away with a lot of bullshit behavior in my marriage frankly. Probably I want to be corrected and trained and that's part of my attraction to all this. But my wife gives me a pass probably due to love and some areas I excel at...

 

I introduced my wife to chastity because I had a masturbation habit that she wasn't aware of. I wanted her to take full control of my sexuality. And she did. I'm expected not to touch or tease myself except for cleaning and bathroom functions.

Like @Marcus_Fappington , there was BS behavior in my life too. She has changed that now and holds me accountable for my attitude & behavior. I willingly comply because I've fallen so deeply in love with her again. My avatar really says it all.

Generally speaking, she takes the lead in our sex life. She decides when I'm released. She decides when to tease me. She decides when I'm allowed to please her. She decides how much physical intimacy we have. But because she doesn't feel forced upon & emotionally connected, it happens much more frequently than ever before.

Beyond that, she stills likes me to take the lead, initiate and plan things, but with her input and approval. She expects complete transparency.

I don't know if you'd call this an FLR. But it feels great and we feel more like a married couple who are best friends and can't wait to see each other at the end of our work days.

 

That's awesome. Good for you both. I have been reading a book on the 5 love languages. And I am seeing a lot of comparisons in terms of the chaste male learning how to speak the love language of their spouse better once locked in chastity.

Granted it's a bit more complex than that but the chaste tends to learn what the key holders wants more of be it acts of service (ie chores around the house) physical touch (intimacy with out pressure for sex) kind words etc. But the end result of chastity and learning the 5 love languages and which one your spouse speaks is a overall better happier more intimate relationship with them

 

Hmm mine: attention, compliments, and gifts. Ironically when we had a lot more money I just gave her big piles of money in her bank account and told her to buy whatever she wanted and now that we have way less money and I buy her cheap gifts and flowers more often she appreciates that more.

 

Yes! My wife and I have long thought we knew what our love languages were, but since we've started chastity we're finding that they may have evolved. We actually appreciate and love each other in multiple ways!

 

So many blurred memories and hazy aspects between chastity and an FLR.

I would say now we’re in chastity it has become easier to live this way, but that isn’t to say it start with chastity. I guess neither of us really realised we’d really gone the full way down this route… but we’ve definitely landed at full FLR this year. My remaining grasp at controlling any aspect of our lives appears to have dissipated and been replaced with her consideration to my needs in along the decisions…

So how did it start? It was a natural step. She’s always been the more dominant party (I’m talking out of the bedroom here). Happy when she gets her way, unhappy when she didn’t. I’ve always been easy going and relaxed. Our (her) biggest frustration in our relationship was always my passive responses to her questions. Answers like, “if you want” or “Yeah, whatever suits”. I just go with the flow and never saw that as a problem, for her it’s a problem because she never knew what I wanted.

Anyway. A few years into our relationship. Probably after marriage, the baby and her going back to work we had to make our sex life still connect to our reality of life. I had a high sex drive. I liked the unusual. Fisting wasn’t uncommon. Pegging happened at times. We were enjoying a bit of play with feminisation… we didn’t find it sexual or anything, but it was a fun experience between us. I look hot as a woman and she enjoyed making me over. The intrigue of that one has worn off and we’ve moved beyond it. Basically, I wanted everything… and frequently. Chastity cages was a turn off for her.

To help her with… well life in general as she returned to work we devised a game. I earned sexual rewards based on how much I helped her. I helped a lot!!!
So much so she couldn’t keep up with the rewards. It actually seems a little silly now but that was the gateway. It showed how much I could do. It helped her get over her concern about telling me what she wanted me to do… and so the answers to the questions became. “Yes, of course”. “Ok”. Etc.
The frustration in our relationship disappeared.

Can’t remember exactly everything. One reward was an evening in chastity and it went from there, I enjoyed it… I wanted more… I begged for more. It took some working on to accept the cage, but once she did I certainly knew I would regret it. (That’s a joke, I never regret this. This works for us.)

Eventually, punishments were added. Might regret that one!

 

We were deeply in love, but unable to connect sexually. She said at one point she thought she was asexual.

During a “We are in trouble” discussion, she admitted that sometimes I last too long and it was uncomfortable. She asked if we could just stop when she needed to. Thinking about what I was giving up made it very difficult to answer. But, I agreed.

We started have sex more often. Stopping, at her request, became denial. Then teasing was introduced. Somehow, a chastity device was introduced.

I can remember seeing one when researching teasing and denial. I thought, “No way.”

Within a year I was locked up. At first, she didn’t like the looks of it. After a few months, she adjusted and started to tease me. She discovered how hot it was for her to have me so desperate for her and always frustrated.

We started having a lot of sex. She liked being in control. She might finish two to four times, and all I got was a good workout.

Chastity then became a FLR.

We are deeply in love and on a level I didn’t think was possible. I miss free access to my orgasms, but I would not trade what we have for anything.

 

Somehow being reluctant but still controlled makes it all more exciting and arousing to me.

 

I introduced chastity device, I assumed it would be worn for short periods during teasing.

When she agreed and started wearing the key, she took it and ran with it. She undoubtedly looked online, found the aspects she liked, ditched what she didn’t, and has no problem making sex all about her, having me pamper and respect her, and takes control when needed.

I don’t see her getting too far ahead of herself with anything else. I would never agree to financial domination, and I am already pretty pliable to everything else. If she asks me if I want to do something I’ll be honest and say yes or no. If she asks if I will do something I say yes. That’s not very subbie but I don’t lie about what I like or want to do. I’ll do almost anything for someone, but I won’t lie about my feelings on it. I tell my wife all the time, if you were going to be upset with the answer, you shouldn’t have asked lol.

 

I have always been submissive, and I have always felt the need to be controlled and dominated by a beautiful woman. Until a couple of years ago we had every now and then kinky sex, but 4 years ago I had bought a Cb6000s and she loved it, and then slowly she started to take over control, until last year when I noticed she was lacking interest and therefore I also did, unfortunately. But the last weeks things are spicing up again, and tomorrow she wants me wearing my sissy maid uniform again in the morning. She slowly is taking control again.
She had never told me she likes to dominate me, but I would have noticed it so I think that had come with her aging, because I am quite sure she has never had those feelings. When she told me it made me very happy, also when she told me my future life will be the life of a sissy maid, being dressed up at home always wearing a uniform. Out of the house always locked up and wearing lingerie. Not sure what more is going to come. What will be taken away are the male things, hanging out with friends, going to sports, concerts etc. It will be only her to serve.

 

What book did you share?

 

The Mistress Manual

 

Was it helpful?

 

It led to me and my wife having a frank discussion about my desires and now we are in an FLR including crossdressing. VERY helpful!

 

If neither my wife nor I are into feminization would that book be of any value?

 

My partner had just come out of a sexless 20 year marriage (apart from having a kid; husband came out as gay after 20 years) and had no idea what FemDom or BDSM were. I gave her Elise Suttons book and after she read it all the way through (in two days) I asked her which bits she liked. "All of it!" she said. It turned out she is an absolute natural domme and loves pretty much all aspects of the lifestyle.
We don't have an FLR though really, except during sex play. The rest of our relationship is very much a team effort, supporting and encouraging each other. in what we do We complement each other nicely in day-to-day life and I wouldn't want it any other way.

 

my wife and I are the same in life. Team effort but she can’t get on board as a domme.

she never will.

 

Congrats! Sounds like a dream come true.

 

We both read the 50 shades of grey books, and were like “let’s give it a try “ even though we already had a very healthy vanilla sex life. We tried it with me being in the dominant role, which didn’t work for me at all. I was physically ill when I spanked her, and not only was I done at this point, but so was she. She then suggested the next time that we switch spots, with her being in control. Not only did she love it, but I completely melted in her hands. The rest is history.

 

I had kinky thoughts and bought a chastity device one day.

I showed it to my wife and asked her what she thinks it is for.

I just wanted to play and sent her a link after quickly googeling Keuschheitsgürtel and accidentially found a site about FLR instead of usual kink play.

I didnt read it at first. She said:"Oh cool this is what i ever wanted." and " Come over here i want to put it onto your cock. "

Since then it is a FLR and I am her locked boi toy.

 

Our relationship was platonic because she’s lesbian and i am not. But we decided to try the mixed orientation relationship since we discovered we both love one another. Since she’s lesbian, it helps that we are Female Led.