We are still fairly new to long term chastity. I’ve been in about 2.5 months this stretch. We talked about it tonight and decided it’s time for a break. There’s just too much going on with work and the holidays that neither of us have the energy to put into it. We’ll get back into it when things settle down. There’s no real point to my post other than to say it’s ok to not be hardcore all the time.
Hope y'all both have safe/relaxing holidays coming up! Yes, it's def. important to recognize when you need a break from chastity. For the last maybe 3 months or so, I've been only wearing my cage whenever I have the energy, motivation, and inspiration - unfortunately I've been only wearing it passively. I've certainly unlocked myself/took mini breaks due to the stress from my personal life atm... Just go at your own pace!
Even though my partner has subs and we live the lifestyle tgere comes times where you think i havent got time for this shit and we turn vanilla for a month or so, it happens i think it makes it more enjoyable when you revisit it. Life is more important the last thing on our minds if our child is up nights on end and work is crazy is shoving sometging up my butt and tying me up! Do whats right when its right.
I have been belted since April. The 1st 3 months I went with no orgasms or erections until my Queen allowed a wonderful hand job. The second 3 months I did cheat a few times while out of the belt to bath. My Queen did allow Piv at the end of the second 3 month period. I had trouble getting fully hard. Now 2 months in to this lock up, I am noticing mental changes. It’s like I have mental block about a full orgasm. I had to go to the court house yesterday and took the belt off. It felt wrong. When I bathed unbelted I did get an Erection honest it was almost uncomfortable. I am at a point where I feel the belt is rewiring my brain. On one hand I love the changes, on the other the changes scare me. I did not think my Queen would take this far. It’s really turning into a wild ride. I don’t think I could stop or go back if I wanted at this point.
We’re over 3.5 years into using a cage, with various degrees of strict. Each year getting more serious with it, but even in early ‘22 my Wife would occasionally grant a few days of freedom, she granted one 11 day stretch of freedom in September actually. But, overall they have become more rare, and she definitely notices the difference in my service and attentiveness to her when the little brain thinks he has Rights. Things have really changed within my Wife this year, chastity went from just a cage toy and something to try out for another kink, to something that excites me, to now, this is her lifestyle and she loves it! We both do, I don’t see much freedom in my 2023 calendar lol
I find this a strange concept. Before I really respond I will say I’m not judging, everyone’s experience within chastity and how it affects their relationship is different. There’s no one set set up at all. I just read posts about ‘life gets in the way’ etc and I don’t understand. Chastity is as ‘hardcore’ as you make it. Periods without tease are not difficult to manage, they’re easier. There’s a comfort in the cage that helps me get through other situations, Just because we’re going through other things that can be challenging in life wouldn’t mean that I would expect my wife to release me and allow me to pleasure myself, if anything I would suggest that this is the exact time that chastity would be positive. I would be happier to wait until we’re both in a position to find excitement and enjoyment in our sex life again. It brings us closer.
I think a night time breaks are good to allow natural errections. The life get to busy, stress, work or kids for tease/denial, well rubbing my wife feet, shoulders or back can be a lot of tease, especially if she’s naked or no underwear. I think sometimes we focus on the physical sex. I guess it depends on the reason locked, or denial oneself. Lifestyle, as life can get in the way or a kink with expectations to be met.
No I don't want my cock becoming re-accustomed to getting hard at night and my god the temptation there would be.
Exactly right, but let me say that I have arrived at viewing FLM chastity with a cage and active key holder I would say game on in all circumstances. I believe the truth is, is that you both get great enjoyment of playing games together, this game is no different, although in time it may become more than a game so be it, well there is no better game to begin that will automatically bring you both so much closer, its the caged and the KH that dichotomy creates all new sensations. If it doesn't work with both parties actively involved I find that hard to believe, well if that does not create a win win situation nothing will. The game of pretending different roles with each other can be a lot of fun, don't give up the game, let it slip in wherever possible in that busy schedule, it is invigorating, it will help you thru the day, fit it in and good luck.
There is no right or wrong way to do all of this "stuff" as long as both of you are happy with the situation. Enjoy the holiday!
I have to agree with everything you have said. For us it's not a game so life just goes on while wearing the cage.
I'm with @IB-Chaste and @littleguy3, I don't understand this idea of how life "gets in the way" of being in chastity. Chastity is just part of life, it's not dependent on circumstances or whether my wife has time or interest or whatever today or this week. I'm in chastity because I'm kind of self-centered and a masturbator and being in chastity and erection-free helps me be a better husband. "Breaks" are just times when I revert to being a masturbator and I dont want to go back there ( I like it, but it's not good for me emotionally or for our intimacy and my respect for her). So I stay in chastity always because that's who I am now in our marriage, a chaste submissive husband, and she'll let me out when she decides to, when the circumstances of her life give her the feeling that she wants to. Until then I wait, locked, chaste and erection-free.
It's easy to understand. There are things that happen in life that can take the joy out of life, like the wind being taken out of the sails. Those things sometimes happen to couples. And at least for some people, that can take the fun out of chastity. My wife and I are currently in one of those hard spots. So for me, it's now a chaste life without any play. (And it's currently chastity without a cage. But I've promised not to take care of my own needs, so it's all the same; I'd prefer to be back in the cage but it hasn't been mentioned since she let me remove it a few days ago.) There's currently very little interest from her in terms of sexual contact. She's always tired, and almost always sad. Not because of me, but because of something else that has sucked the joy out of life for us at the moment. But that's how it works sometimes. I have no complaints about her; I continue to learn to adore and respect and lovingly serve and obey her, and the absence of her attention is simply something that I must learn to appreciate as I appreciate everything else about her. And one positive is that she definitely appreciates not being pestered for sex or attention at all, and she appreciates me serving her and taking care of all of the things that she can't deal with at the moment. So she appreciates the benefits that chastity has brought her, even if it currently brings her no joy.
@bones_bones I applaud you and your conclusion and wish you an enjoyable holiday. My situation is indeed more like a few others that have posted (unlocking would probably ruin the holidays for her, and thus me as well) but it is nice to get a reminder that it doesn't have to be like that for everyone. Again enjoy!
I might seem negative here.... but what energy does it take to leave a cage locked on permanently? Or have I missed the point? A
I am locked all the time no matter what in the earlier days I used to go denied for 2 months then allowed a release but not lock back up and wife didn't enforce it. It would take me a while to get back into it. But now there is no option I am totally submitted to her and there is no release schedule and no worries when she wants to release it she will. Any inquiries usually end in a looong time. Just to get reassured I ask these things and always the same. But it is what makes us close and very intimate.