What I've learned from Chastity

The biggest thing I’ve learned is that penile entry to her most intimate area is a luxury that is best savoured when she really feels the need for her own satisfaction. It no longer happens often. When it does it’s because she really wants it to.

I contrast this to pre-chastity. I would have measured the quality of a relationship and intimacy by how frequently this would happen. Even after my own pleasure in a different form this would also have to occur for me to feel satisfied. A good sexual experience, a meal out, a family party… anytime we had a good time it would have to be preceded by intercourse for me to feel that it was truly a life moment…

I actually find it funny now. That I thought my relationship was amazing because we had sex 4-5 times a week. I didn’t consider any other measures. This was the one. The pinnacle.

My relationship has improved. We have next to no intercourse. How paradoxical to my life long beliefs. Hate being wrong!

 

WoW!

My wife and I have been married for 28 years but we have only just started our journey. I really do hope that we're on the same path as you and your lady. Over time, I pulled away from my wife emotionally and sexually in a similar way to you and I think for similar reasons. Your list of pre-chastity behaviours is precisely how I feel about myself and I hope that the results will be similar. In fact, I felt the impact of the dopamine increase within hours. Unfortunately, I had to take a break from the device for 24 hours as I had rushed into a configuration that was too small. I have the device back on again and I aim to keep it on this time. Taking off and leaving it off was a real wrench but necessary. I was aware that I was less attentive and loving than in the previous days. The difference was striking. This evening, my wife came down wearing pyjamas and one of the top buttons had become undone, I was instantly turned on and filled with desire for her. I commented and could see how she enjoyed the impact she'd had on me. Due to her medical issues, she hasn't felt desirable for some time but I can see the confidence flooding back now. I'm hoping that her sexual confidence will increase and that she'll soon begin to revel in her rekindled sexuality and the power it has over me.

After we took off the device, we practiced a ruined orgasm. Although cumming was very nice, it felt like an 'anti-climax' to climax. I knew instantly that I preferred to remain 'locked and loaded'

We are going to draw up some guidelines for our arrangement and I want to ensure that I'm not allowed to cum for a minimum of a month, perhaps three.

We both said this evening that we can't believe it's taken so long for us to discover this practice. It may be seen as a kink but I can see a time when male chastity enters the mainstream because it's too powerful to be a niche activity! I would certainly like to advocate for it but overcoming the taboo is a significant obstacle.

How open have you been about chastity with your friends and family? How have people reacted when you tell them?

PS: I still can't believe she embraced the idea so quickly and easily! I noticed earlier today that my profile on here was created in 2017, so it's taken at least 5 years for me to come out of the closet about this. Why did I wait so long?!

 

She is holding my key but I'm still going through the 'running in' period trying to get the sizing right and break my body in gradually. I can't wait to go 24 x 7 but everything I've read says take it step-by-step. That hasn't stopped me from pushing the boundaries though unfortunately. I will learn! Night time is the hardest (no pun intended). How long (if ever) before that gets easier to sleep through?

 

If you’re in 24/7 with a good fit it won’t take too long. If you have a break. A big erection. Change your cage. It all starts over again…

 

My pleasure Center is now wherever she touches! I have erogenous zones I didn’t even know about these days!!

 

They still wake me up. Just the intensity changes, I look forward to them it seems to me that they are a reminder that everything is working as it should… I love this, and what it has done for our relationship!

 

Me too!

 

Thank you … your insight just reinforces what I have been experiencing, I say experiencing because this situation seems to know no bounds, so keep going forward!

 

Woah! Start all over again?!

Actually, I do believe I now have the optimum fit because, after measuring my dick properly (yes I know, should have done it properly from the start!) I changed my cage to the next size up (the plus) which is different in two ways from the ‘standard’. I feel that there is pressure (no pun intended) to go for a smaller cage than is required. I thought that the standard would be fine because I guess I was average. I guessed wrong. Also, I didn’t realise that the ‘standard’ model had a funnel-shaped tube which goes from 34mm to 33m at the end. I realised that it wa like walking around in pointed shoes that are one size too small. My cock is between 3 and 4 inches when I’m flaccid so I needed bit the longer length and girth. The girth mainly helps to accommodate my foreskin. Anyway I slept in the Vice Plus last night after wearing it for several hours earlier and couldn’t believe how comfortable it was. I also took the opportunity to move to a smaller ring because the pain o was getting in the balls during moments of ‘high pressure’ was mainly due to the cage being too short. Bottom line is that I’m confident I have found my perfect fit. Even the night time erections were relatively comfortable! I honestly doubted that this would be possible. They still
Woke me up but they were not painful at all.

Had I measured myself properly in the first place and not rushed in, then I’d be ahead of where I am now. Having said that, I think some trial and error is inevitable because there are several variables to consider and it’s a learning journey.

 

You can sometimes find articles in general and lifestyle newspapers and magazines that cover the topic eg
https://www.independent.co.uk/voice...elationship-sexuality-penis-a8600906.html?amp

Sharing an article like that to start a dialogue could be one way to get the topic on the table.

Another idea is to find a book that fits more into the ‘self help’ category ie: isn’t like referring someone to a book with a name like ‘Female Domination for Submissive Men’ or similar. This one could work … https://www.amazon.com/Locked-Love-...swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1616556040&sr=8-3

The author was interviewed on this podcast and comes across as very intelligent, thoughtful and scientific. Unfortunately, the podcast he’s interviewed on is not vanilla-friendly but maybe he’s done similar interviews elsewhere. If so you can point people to the blog interview.

https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/the-venus-cuckoldress-podcast/id1495573107?i=1000525229183

 

I see so much of myself in your "Chastity helped me realize that I am" lists, and not nearly enough of myself in your "Chastity has improved me" lists. But I'll stay locked and keep trying.

 

I've been locked most of the last year or so, with one continuous 120 days lock, 70 days, 58 days, 31 days, ugh.

When not doing a continuous lock she likes to play, tease, and make love often.

My GF is committed to it, and also firmly believes I should never orgasm.

I've learnt that I was, and still am, addicted to porn - but now I completely see how empty and pointless it is.

Also...

• A lot of the chastity memes are right, and a lot are just fantasy.
  
• That my GF loves chastity more than I do.
  
• Night-time boners remain a problem.
• Small cages are more comfortable.
• Bamboo qtips are best for keeping things clean.
  
• Be careful what you wish for, and when you get it just enjoy it.
• Everything works even after 120 days continuously in the cage.
• Ejaculation and orgasm are entirely different.
• Despite not having an orgasm for months, we can make love for a long time.
• Sex without orgasms is fantastic
• I really miss erections, probably more than orgasms.
  
• I can ejaculate, and feel something like orgasm, through meditation alone.
• We're never too old to learn new (sex) tricks

 

Thanks for sharing!

 

Amen!

 

Do you still feel at the right times you objectify your wife? When she wants you to?
As I still struggle with this. I’ll see my wife in an unsexual proposition and still think about her sexually. At times, when she wants me to view her in that way she is happy that I do so…

And should always be kept handy for re-arranging should the need arise. So many times I’ve had to dissect a ball point pen for the purpose and wished I’d had them to hand.

Need to learn this. Give myself what my wife won’t

 

Challenge…
3 captions you think are right in your relationship.
3 you think are pure fantasy.

Open to anyone in general: