How real is your chastity experience

A lot depends on the rest of your relationship. A month and a half after we got engaged my Wife and I signed a slavery contract - it is now framed on our bedroom wall. Chastity or relinquishing my right to sexual freedom are thus part of our relationship and a device is indeed not really necessary. That being said so are any other toys yet I still wear a day collar and a slave ring around my ankle. A chastity device is a restraint too and my Wife and I think it natural for someone like me to wear it. Restraints and the slight discomfort and embarrassment they may bring also help to take away any illusion as to who is in charge in our relationship.For example, when I walk around the ankle ring may at times not sit right until I adjust it, but having to do that keeps me in my place psychologically even in the most vanilla setting.


So perhaps think of a chastity device as a strong reminder of your Ds commitment and not like something you could easily remove. I could remove my wedding ring too but would never do so because it has an important emotional value just like my collar has.

 

I can pull out whenever I want. Chastity is in my and her head. I will pull out to wash if I want, but I don’t masturbate without her permission.

 

I also can and do pull out. I do not orgasm without pernission, but I must admit I do get handsy while cleaning. On the rare occasions that I have had an "accident" I am honest about it. Godess' disappointment in me hurts worse than the drop or any punishment, so accidents are few and far between. I have asked a few times for a piercing and a PA cage, but Goddess is really turned off by the piercing. The last time I asked, she did reluctantly agree, but hearing the discord in her voice held me back from actually doing it. I really want her to want it. I hope that as we grow together she will someday appreciate the idea of the enhanced control enough to offset her aversion to the piercing.

 

I want to get a vice, hoping they have a black friday sale to offset the crappy exchange rate a bit. Still using the cheap CB6000s we started with in June, definitely due an upgrade.

 

I find it interesting how, no matter how much I want something, if my wife isn't also enthusiastic about it then I may hold off or even lose interest altogether.

 

I'm certainly not going to lose interest on this particular situation. It's something I really want, not just for me, but for us.

 

When I hand over the key, and have no idea where she keeps it, or how I’ll be locked for….oh yes…it’s very real!

 

It’s very real for me, I’ve been locked for 20 years now, given my devices used in the last two decades, yes I could of pulled out, but I would of never have been able to get back in! And with my last fully custom spiked device, I would not have been able to get out of it, no matter what!!

 

I can't pull out due to it being a stainless steel piercing attached device. I don't have a spare key, and my GF keeps the keys in a little key safe that I don't know the number for.

Since I enjoy being chaste for her, even thought sometimes it is difficult, I have not tried to figure the number out nor have I attempted to break out of the cage. I have tools, I could probably do it in a few minutes, but it would result in a broken cage.

We enjoy our game a lot.

It feels pretty real to us.

 

I am locked in a Bijou with a PA piercing, so no pulling out. There is only one "key" which is a sort of Allen key which is in her possession. So no lock picking and a standard Allen key will not work. It is plastic so yes I could probably cut it off but that would ruin it and of coure Mistress would know. She believes all men should be in chastity.
I do not have a safeword. We have a binding contract that I can not end and which I voluntarily signed. So for me chastity is real.

 

Chastity is very real for us. Similar to MSDB321, I wear a Evotion Bijou 24/7 . Before I was on blood pressure medication I could sometimes sneak an orgasm even while chaste by manipulating the base of my hard shaft. The medication makes it difficult to maintain an erection for any length of time. Now I cannot achieve an orgasm while chaste. Since I am chaste 24/7 and on hypertension medication, chastity is indeed very real for me. My Wife/Mistress truly decides when and how I orgasm.

 

If she wasn't...how would you?

 

Very real currently. Very short PA cage, don't know where she has the keys, been locked a week, and don't have a scheduled release date.

 

Semi-real. Wife didn't want a piercing, so I didn't get one. I've got a glans ring in my cage instead which I think would be very hard to get back into after pulling out. So I've never tried.

 

I wear a custom titanium tube device that is designed such that the friction of narrowed portion of the tube against my shaft prevents it from hanging from my 2 gauge piercing. A side effect of the design is I am unable to stimulate myself to orgasm without a great deal of pain. Having experienced this twice has conditioned me to not attempt it again. The PA pin has a security screw housed in a thick loose washer that spins freely even with the screw tightened securely in place. I’m fairly confident I could shear a 2 gauge titanium pin with the right tool. That would likely require a bolt cutter exceeding 18 inch’s in length. I might achieve the pin shear without injury. But then I’d be faced with pulling the sheared ragged and sharp pin through my piercing. Maybe given time and a hand tool that can effectively file titanium I could smooth it sufficiently. The device never needs to be removed to clean. I’ve never been delayed by TSA. I’m able to participate in any sport activity. It has become a non-negotiable part of the relationship (similar to maintaining a job until we’ve saved enough for retirement). I’m in secure bondage when she removes it for play (averaging a couple times per week). The bondage is uncomfortable enough that after an hour or so, I’m happy to put my device back on to be relived of the bondage (especially if it’s the locking nose vice). Real? It certainly feels like it. But I could be in the Matrix (how can I know for sure, no one has offered me the red pill or the blue pill).

 

You call that real chastity?! pfft.

 

No amount of lock picking can get you out of this scenario without your KH knowing. PA piercing so no pullout and a magic locker secured by a numbered clamshell security tag THROUGH the key chamber.

 

What outer cage do you wear? I’ve got a Behind Barz belt with a Hannibal 3 outer cage. What an unbelievable mind f*** being in this belt. Have you considered going for the massages and not taking the belt off? (Evil grin lol)

 

If you set up a situation where you CAN pullout, then you are creating a psycholgical as well as physical escape valve. Not being forthcoming to your Keyholder about this security weakness may harm your own experience. And depending on your arrangement with your KH this might be seen in a negative light by them, should they ever discover it.

While there are no 100% effective devices, finding one that's more secure will likely enhance your own experience and give you more of the feeling of denial and powerlessness with respect to your own urges. Chastity is a hobby, and finding a successful device that provides the right mix of security and comfort can be a long process with lots of failures. FYI- custom devices are more likely to succeed that stock ones.

As far as my own life, my custom device from Steelwerks Extreme is secured with a locking PA. I've never had any luck with orgasms in my device except via extended e-stem. It otherwise prevents any intercourse or oral, to completion, while not restricting erections. This can be incredibly frustrating in its own way.

The chastity kink is a bit like home espresso coffee making. The machines can be very expensive, take a lot of time to learn to use, and when you get all done with that...some people pull shots of amazing espresso, and others just get little cups of coffee. It all depends on what effort you put in to fine tuning your chastity relationship with your partner and on experimenting with devices until you find one that really tickles your fantasy bone, so the experience is just the right amount of real to be satisfying.

At the end of the day you cannot be held captive by your KH against your will. The police will come and compel your KH to release you from even the most perfect inescapable device. So there is always the part of the chastity experience that is a voluntary surrender of your power to "escape" from the restrictions of your chastity. The question you have to answer is how much or how little security and surrender does it take before the chastity feels "real"?

Chastity is a journey of exploration of yourself and your relationship with your cock and your Keyholder, and her relationship with you and your /her cock. Don't sell the experience short by quitting too soon.

 

Hey, can you explain how does this work? Sounds good!

 

Instead of re-typing, I just pulled this from my earlier reply. Hope it helps.

 

I wear the enclosed outer cage. I like being able to wash with the belt on and was concerned about hygiene with the number 3. I have considered a talk bout the belt with my massage therapist as see her is the main reason I unlock. I cannot bring myself to have that conversion.

 

I’m locked 24/7 in a MM Jailbird. Even though I always have a key on me (at my wife’s insistence) I only use it to unlock for weekly shaving or if she forgets hers when we’re away. I haven’t cum at all in 6 weeks now and will not until next year at the earliest. I won’t lie and say there’s never temptation to cheat, especially with having the literal key to an orgasm in my pocket, but I made her a promise to follow whatever rules she sets if we did this and plan on keeping my word. She trusts me and I would never want to give my wife a reason to doubt my word. For us that’s more security than any piercing or belt could offer.

 

That's fantastic!

Given all of that, do you still need the cage?

 

I don’t think weNEED it but it would be missed for a few reasons. She loves the look of it on me and the fact that it gives her control over my erections. I enjoy the feeling when she takes it off and it’s definitely a deterrent in my weaker moments. For both of us the symbolism is pretty powerful as well. She refers to it as the second ring I wear for her and the ritualistic nature of locking/unlocking has become a turn on for us both.