How "real" is your chastity?

i am not lock up for always like some am here cos Mistress dose let me tuck sometimes and then i am not in my little cage but it dont go hard any more anyways.

 

The way we live i is real enough to us.

Nicoftime summes it up quite good though: "I’m locked until she unlocks me"

Reading this thread that could mean anything though so let's try to clarify a bit what this means to us.
We live in a FLR since we met, but our FLR is a down to earth version where she has the last word in almost everything, but without any domina roleplay.
Similar to our FLR is the way we handle chastity which has to fit our day to day live. How can it do that ? Well by me wearing the device 24/7, but with some exceptions:
- First exception would be she wanting me beeing unlocked for whatever reason
- Second exeption would be sports. She will unlock me for doing bicycling or material art, because there is simply no option to do this with a CB.
- Third an last time: WHenever we know that I will have to pass a bodyscanner. And due to my job that happens more often than for most people. Where we live my company has two organizations we work with that use bodyscanners. While I do not often visit them in person I have to fly a lot (1-2 weeks a month). Here I will carry my cb in my bag and will put it on again after I arrive at my destination.

So yes, I in theory wear my cb all the time, but we have some exceptions as we do not want to fit our life around chastity, but rather make chastity fit to our life.

 

I’m 100% with you Shimone. “Locking” is not the goal. It’s being chaste for someone. A huge difference. I unlock for bike rides and sports. But if I’m ever to pull down my pants to “present arms” it’s always with a locked cock.

 

1. I said recently I would do this as a way of life, no backing out. That means her choice as to how long as she wants, no agreed time limits.
2. When I think of a) just doing what I've done all my life, pleasuring freely either sex or alone OR b) actually living a submissive sex life for a very open-minded mistress and being told I'm going to be locked for a very long time. Actual long term chastity... there's only one choice that gets me aroused now.
3. On and off play, cheating the device, not properly handling stopping because of soreness. All that happened but I keep returning to the idea of long term chastity. I'm lucky I have a mistress very keen on keeping me in chastity and who has been patient up till now with me ripping up the rulebook. Much more backing out for whatever reason just makes this feel silly and me selfish. Put up or shut up time and the longer I go the more momentum I have to lose by quitting.
4. She's growing tomatoes and is also keeping track of her balls with a tape measure, 3 weeks in I dare not measure up smaller.
... that's how we're trying to do it for real. More than just depending on the device, I have to keep in my mind that I chose this so this is how I'll live now because I had my fair share of unlimited play and got a bit bored of how I was before. Being endlessly happy with "foreplay" and her pleasure is very enjoyable for us both at the moment.

 

I introduced it as a kink/fantasy. It became real as soon as my KH recognised the benefits (which was very quickly) and the power dynamic shifted. It's now a lifestyle for us.

 

Happy wife, happy life. My wife wasn't happy about chastity when I introduced it to her. It took a few years, but she eventually figured out the benefits.
Our dynamic is very similar to Shimone. I get unlocked for piv and when I go workout with a men's workout group 3 times a week. It has benefitted our marriage significantly. I believe she is truly happy now.

 

I'm locked 24/7 except when she unlocks me for PIV. That happens once or twice a month lately (she used to be happy with our Vixskin strapped on, but this past year she has much preferred the real thing) but most of the time I have to put on a condom and numbing cream and I'm instructed to not cum. She lets me cum about 6x / yr (today, as it happens, apparently in celebration of my birthday!). External cleaning works fine (I wear an MCN Contender) so no unlocking for hygiene (or doctor, or airport scanners ... if I set off the scanner I have to tell them I'm wearing intimate jewelry in my groin, they wand me and that's that).

We're not in FLR, though she has become somewhat more dominant in the bedroom. There's not a lot of time spent paying attention to my chastity -- she teases me briefly a couple of times a week, we have a major play session every weekend, most days I down on her. Fairly low-key ... it's just the way things are. She likes my attentiveness and greater efforts to please her, but other than that could take it or leave it.

 

How interesting is it to read your guys! Thanks for sharing candidly.

We live in an FLR that leaves room for discussion, sometimes of intensive nature. We do live with young adults children, so that demonstration of devotion is limited.

my Lady Partner complains that in reality, chastity and caging actually only goes as long as I enable it, that she has no mean to enforce it, that my obedience is actually what enables it or not.

She is of the opinion that I am a better Partner and lover without orgasms and questions if I really need some. I am irregularly caged, sometimes for longer periods, sometimes not. I must ask to take it off.

a second thing that bother is that the longer I am abstinent, the shorter I last and that really bother her.

One think that is key is that she decides about my sexual pleasure. An orgasm / ejaculation without her approval is viewed as significant breach of trust.

Although I sometimes must deal with my physiological urge, I derive my greatest sexual pleasure from giving her and experiencing her pleasure.

 

I'm not sure I could either TBH! That's why I need so many reminders

 

My chastity is very real although not always requiring the cage. I am required to wear the cage for extended periods of time but only because I've become too horny not to touch myself and when she notices that, which usually begins three or four days after I am allowed an orgasm, she commands me to begin wearing it again. I say my chastity is very real because despite the overwhelming urge to orgasm when I haven't for several weeks I mentally and totally submissive and a slave to her and would not want to have to endure her anger or her disappointment with me. The woman is the best thing that has ever occurred to me in my entire life. Yes she does take other lovers. She does make me fluff them, kneel alongside the bed while they screw her and clean them both up afterwards with my tongue. She does command me and order me and peg me and punish me and make me clean her orally after she urinates and uses and manipulates me in every aspect of my life but I love her beyond belief. She is my goddess and I her slave and my chastity is something I give to her willingly. My cage is only a tool to stop my weak body from performing an act that will upset her. She is not totally cruel however and does allow me a couple of minutes every few months, with her watching, teasing slapping or pegging me, to attempt to achieve an orgasm. I quite often fail...

 

For me chastity becoming a ‘real’ part of my life can be defined by how we’ve acted towards each other today. I’m currently ill, nothing major but enough that I’m off my game completely… but there’s a genuine affection showed towards me by my wife. There’s no discussion of me being allowed out, however she has given me a “free pass” today. Not completing my chores is acceptable. That’s it.

I guess my life has completely changed with chastity, but not into an over the top fetish. It’s just how it is now. We’re both very comfortable in just about every aspect of it.

Ensuring she’s happy in life is the main priority. Sexually her enjoyment is paramount, that doesn’t always include me bringing her to orgasm, she’s mostly happy with me just massaging her. Giving her attention. Ensuring she has the proper end to her day that reflects the mood the day has put her in.
Sexual actions for me are things I enjoyed previously but we didn’t do frequently. She enjoys pleasing me, but ultimately with denial. Allowing me a ruined orgasm (something she would previously have thought almost unfulfilling for me) is now regarded as a treat. It hasn’t happened often.
Frankly, our whole dynamic in our relationship has changed. Changed for the better. Previously she had doubts but now If there is ever a discussion about a full orgasm, she discusses how I was before we started. I don’t actually believe I was that bad… I don’t think she really thinks that either, but she knows she prefers it this way.

If we’re discussing whether the ‘realness’ is a definition of how often I’m locked up? Our agreement is simple. I remain in chastity until it no longer benefits our relationship or she’s no longer happy with it. So currently that’s 24/7.

 

meh it depends I know june thru the first part of august it was every weekend then when i put it on the weekend of August 6th it stayed on and she let me out on the 19th and then ,had we not gone out to Avalon resort, it probably woulda stayed on that weekend too but altho Avalon is a nudist resort, they frown on stuff like cages

 

Well, I had something quite different in mind, before I entered my current relationship (I was single for a very long time). I envisioned gradual reduction of frequency of orgasm, taking steps to make my cage escape proof, even fantasizing about eventually being cuckolded. I bought a very expensive cock cage as a sort of "insurance" against a desperate urge to break or cut it (it would be damned difficult, as it is titanium, but not impossible and it would mean throwing $4100 in the thrash). But none of this actually materialized. My current girlfriend has absolutely no interest in me wearing it, while I am around her. She likes PIV very much, although I gotta say - my performance is just barely tolerable (I guess all this time spent by myself masturbating didn't help : ( . She also laughed out loud, when I told her about my fantasy of being cuckolded - she downright sneered at me, saying this is the last thing in the world she would find sexy. In a way I think she is morbidly jealous, which I find both flattering and unnecessary - I am very antisocial and quite inept with women, also, by my own judgement - just average looking. But she does demand that I have no privacy, not on my phone, not on my computer, nowhere - she goes through everything. So the cage found its purpose - as soon as I leave the house, she insists that I wear it, period. I love her very much and although our situation turned out quite different than what I had imagined, I think my chastity is not any less real, just of another nature. Not a 24/7/365 by any means, but I don't think I would've liked or even tolerated being permanently locked. I still struggle with the device if I have to wear it longer than three days (I travel a lot, so sometimes a week goes by before I am back home). She (and I) are not quite happy with the cage yet, as I can easily pull out the back. So we looked into solutions and it looks like the tetherspout is the one for me. She knows I can pull out, but to her masturbation is not the issue, it is actual cheating with another woman and me being unable to completely remove the cage does give her some piece of mind. So this is where I am at the moment.

 

My Goddess/wife live a FLR M/s lifestyle the majority of the time (2 or 3 weeks per month) which requires me to be an obedient sissy slave who is either naked or dressed as a sissy and is locked in chastity. W/we tried a strict FLR M/s relationship with 24/7 chastity and dominance but realized we started to lose some of the fun W/we had before discovering this other side of ourselves. Also, Goddess loves having PIV (and anal) with me so permanent deprivation, which might work for some people, isn’t right for us. Over time we determined that the division we currently live works for us. That’s said, when W/we are in our “normal” or “vanilla” lifestyle i am not locked but am still not allowed to play with myself so to that extent chastity is full-time.

All that said, my chastity is “real” to me. While W/we still consider this something we enjoy i don’t know if it fits into the “game” bucket or the “lifestyle” bucket. In the end it really doesn’t matter to U/us!

 

For me, locked chastity is mandatory. My Wife has made it clear I do not have any choice in the matter at all, chastity is required in our marriage. My device is secured by a PA piercing, there is only one key, and she keeps it.

She has also explained that my submission and calm hormones are more desired than my penis. She enjoys the closeness and pairing that giving me PIV provides, but my penis is not used for pleasure anymore. This was a harsh value judgement the first time I heard it, but I'm at peace with it now.

I'm absolutely not allowed to touch myself in any way without permission. I'm given ruins and orgasms in roughly equal portions, but the O's may be caged, by supervised masturbation, or by PIV. I get approximately 2 releases of some kind per month.

 

I guess mine is fake. I release every day for proper cleaning and for workouts and to play tennis. I am only locked about 75% of the time. Orgasm denial, however is paramount. I don't get any unless allowed, which is rare. Teasing is constant.

 

Chastity is orgasm control it doesn't necessarily mean you have to have a cage on it means that you do not orgasm without the permission of another. There are actually times that I'm allowed out of my cage for periods of time but I would still never dream of orgasming without my goddesses permission so my chastity is very real and just like you her teasing is very real as well

 

I agree, chastity is orgasm control. I worked shift work and my wife worked at a regular day job. On days I was at home without her, i was spending too much time playing with myself. My wife didn't realize how often I was masturbating. She was reluctant at first, but after reading about chasity devices, she said she would give it a try.

I got way more done around the house when I started locking up. I was only locked when she was gone, not locked when we were together. I did do a few longer long up times just to see how it would go.

It wasn't done to be cruel or punished, it was done so I didn't have orgasms when she wasn't around.

I am on the honor system at all times and still lock up if she is gone from the house for very long at all. In the past 2 or 3 years, I have probably only came a couple of times that she didn't know about.