Chastity and mental focus below 40yrs

I totally agree on that! This is one reason why I seek to find the most comfortable solution there is to lock me. I'm using a custom titanium cage now and it is a fine thing. Still, I get reminded a lot because a) I have to align everything to pee and b) it tucks on the ballssack like any other cage of that build. So I did the only reasonable thing (xdxdxd) and got a frenum piercing two days ago in order to use an Evotion Bijou in the future. This cage has no ring around the ballsack and there shouldn't be any fumbling neccessary to pee. I'll keep you posted if it is as good as I hope once I get it and the piercing is healed ;-).
In any case, this I will add to our list of factors that distract: The constant physical reminder on your junk. Which is also a fetish for us. So yeah, I guess practicing chastity on a honor system might be a solution to that - but certainly not for everyone. For me it would need some getting used to and well... I'd miss the fetish of being caged... I guess I'm trying to still have the feeling, but dialing it down a bit with a comfortable cage that only reminds me 27 times a day instead of 45 times^^... which brings me to another very good point...

It is a trade indeed! When in chastity for longer, I often ask myself if I am making a reasonable choice. And let's not forget that chastity messes with your brain chemistry and you'll likely have far more and extreme fantasies, that in my case (and I guess I'm not alone) lead to ideas about staying chaste longer and longer, as it is a major turn on. So I even start questioning, wheter I am still choosing this or not. I guess this topic is amplified when a KH is making choices for you. But in the end it still is your choice to submit... just much harder to get out of that rabbit hole. My girlfriend is very concious about how I feel and thus rather "forbids" me to go longer, as she doesn't like me to be distracted/needy for too long - although she enjoys the periods of course. In that sense, my getting better at chastoping (coping with chastity^^) enables her to enjoy the benefits more often. I guess it makes no sense to compare dynamics here, but maybe it can be said like this: Making a concious choice of how much energy/distraction you want to trade in a period to have fun with your sexuality and acting accordingly is another key to chastoping. At least I wouldn't be distracted by asking myself whether I'm living on auto pilot or not. However doing this is certainly a challenge for those of us that tend to get carried away.

Ways of chastoping better - the list is growing: meditation, making lists of things to do (and doing them^^), having a KH that helps you focus when needed, sports (especially in the morning), cold showers, pain play, acceptance (mental management), caged sex and anal play, reasonable teasing sessions, setting strategic chastity periods, processing ones identity as a (semi) chaste male, sharing feelings with others, making concoius choices (when not horny) on how much distraction is ok and acting on it, having a cage that gives minimal physical sensation.

Is there something missing? What else is helping you to chastope and stay functional in chastity?




I'm right now busy asking myself why I'm into chastity and what it should be for me/the lady in the future. Trying not to overthink it, but I do want to have an idea of what I'm doing. It's cofusing. For me chastity is not exclusively linked to being dominated by her, but it points in that direction. It's also linked to me having to manage my sexuality in general. It's also a fetish in itself. It is additionally a training/challenge in self control. When the femdom part is added, being submissive brings a whole bunch of more aspects/challenges and questions into the mix. At the same time, there is the question of how to have some chastity in my life while not being dominated or even being dominant myself (something the lady and I enjoy too). No wonder I'm really distracted by this. It helps to write it down though... so thanks ;-).

I guess another topic is choosing a fitting chastity routine. Keep in mind, my goal is to enjoy it, but to keep the distraction as low as possible (which will be a lot anyway - can't cheat brain chemistry^^). The last thing we tried was me having an O once a week but being chaste the rest of the time (while the lady had her fun of course ;-)). I'm not even sure if having an O once a week was making things easier compared to not having one for longer periods. Of course there was the nice feeling of release, but I was up for more the next day. It calmed down on day 2 after the release, then there were like 2-3 days that were ok, however a bit annoying, as I was horny enough to want release but not horny enough to have great fun with the hornieness. Then around day 6-7 I got incredibly horny - more than when settled in chastity and then the whole thing began again. A study has shown that the hormones reach peak after 7-8 Days and then the body reduces them. So my experience makes sense. It just means that I was riding the peak point all the time, which is not what I should do to avoid distractions.
On the other hand, doing less time than that is just annoying, as you're never really horny or in a fantasy, but you have the cage on. It feels pointless. I'd say having 2-3 orgasms a week is quite natural for me and can be very nice, but it has nothing to do with a chastity fantasy.

So I guess going beyond 8-10 days so the body can settle in makes sense. Once it fully has, let's say after two weeks, I can live chastity with all the things we listed to limit the distractions and still be a professional at work. Theoretically^^. Now since there are already 2 more distracted weeks invested, you'd not stop after one additional week. The ratio 2 taxing weeks and one (more) relaxed week is bad. So maybe go for 2 additional weeks. Now the entire show has lasted a month. In theory: 2 weeks very distracted, 2 weeks distracted. If there is time for that - I can go for it, if not, not. That would be one way to look at it. Of course it would be hard to be reasonable and stop after 4 weeks, if it feels good. At the same time it's hard to decide when to make the trade and when not. Alas my responsibilitie to perfome will be high throughout the year. But not acting on my thing with chastity to some degree feels bad too. Even now I'm thinking and writing so much about it AND got my junked pierced for a better cage - and I haven't even been chaste these past 2 weeks (we stopped our recent game). So there's an auto pilot for you^^. Anyway... I know you won't be able to figure this out for me, but it's good to write it down. Thank you for reading if you made it this far.

How are you doing?