Our lives under her rule: a sissy's diary of a FLR

My dreams of being replaced completely as a sexual adult in the house seem to be slowly becoming reality...it's kind of thrilling and frightening how things that I'd once only fantasized about start creeping into reality.

As I said she's becoming more matter-of-fact in her declarations that I'm a little girl; her tone and facial expressions saying less this is a game she is indulging me in and more that this is how she is viewing our marital roles.

Tonight, when I came home and was getting change she was lounging about, a hint of pink panty visible from her nightgown. She caught me peeking at her panties as she adjusted her hem, and flashed me a wicked sort of grin. "Stop that! No peeking at my panties, that's for real men."

"You never stopped me before..." I offered, having always enjoyed how cute she looked in her nighties and panties.

"Yes, well that was before it was a rule."

"It's a rule? Since when?"

"Since now. No more looking at my panties, ever. That's just for real men, otherwise you'll be punished. I'll have to be more careful not to flash them so much, but if I do and I catch you peeking I'll paddle you."

I wasn't sure if she was playing or serious, since she still had kind of a playful tone and expression, but later while giving her a footrub she assured me matter of factly she was serious. In her mind I was losing something sexual I liked, but she'd lost a real man in her marriage as she is fond of reminding me, so I was getting off easy. I wisely decided not to complain or argue, but it's another step towards being completely emasculated and regressed.

 

The past couple of weeks have continued apace, with me continuing to adjust to 24/7 chastity. She has begun teasing me when the whim strikes her.

For example, the other day I came home and found her excitable, rubbing against me and letting me caress and fondle her. After a few minutes of this, I asked if she was wanting anything more, only for her to dryly inform me she'd tended to herself hours ago and just wanted to tease me a little, then she stepped away effortlessly.

Over the past year she has been quite strict about not letting me back into men's clothes; the few times I pleaded for an evening in pants and t-shirts I was strictly told "no", and even paddled one day just for trying on a pair of men's briefs. I'd found them while cleaning, and tried them on to see if they fit, and when she saw me she paddled me on the spot, telling me I should have known better; I then had to throw them right in the trash.

This isn't because she has any sort of sissy fetish, as she doesn't. Rather, her philosophy has been that I don't get to pick and choose when to be a girl. I still recall one day months ago when I protested that I didn't "feel" like being a girl that day, she replied "And I don't feel like being a woman some days, but that's part of life as one, now put your panties on like the rest of us".


Of course, she's still heterosexual herself, so she's less interested in me sexually. She was feeling a bit amorous the other day, but after looking me over decided against letting me out for a quick fling; "too girly" she decided. The biggest change is she says she has begun to stop seeing me as a man anymore. "I used to, before this" she told me; these days she even casually addresses me mostly as "girl" or "lady". It's emasculating, and as someone who enjoys humiliation I'm genuinely torn: on the one hand her scorn when she tells things like having a man was nice while it lasted or that I'm more feminine than her can really cut, but it also feels so right and proper. It's a delicate thing, deliberately humiliating your partner with their consent, but using it as a chance to vent seems to have helped strike that balance. Obviously, you learn as you go. Luckily, she's equally quick to snuff out any lingering doubts that her feelings for me have changed. It takes her a fraction of a second to make me feel almost embarrassed for having doubted her, which makes it so much easier to keep even the most cutting, humiliating remarks from lingering.

I'm also feeling more and more like a housewife, honestly: I cook and clean, she doesn't; she teases me about being prettier, girlier, and more delicate and submissive than her; these days she's even taken to the odd smack on the ass when passing by, just "because [she] can". Yet another nail salon appointment tomorrow, with my acrylic nails being refilled. She had warned me last trip, when I first got them, that it would be semi-permanent going forward. I do like tending our home, staying pretty and silky, and my feminine frillies...

Most days, at least. A year into living as a sissy and as of tomorrow a solid month into no sex, no masturbation, and no release date in sight still, and I feel very much ground down, male ego-wise. I spend more hours a day living as a feminine, submissive house-girl than I do as ANY sort of male. My wife's reminders of how she no longer views me as a man either have also taken their toll over time. I sometimes find myself wishing I could, essentially, have my cake and eat it too, but it's been made clear that's out of the question. It's also, quite frankly, unfair: part of being the little girl is that it's that way 24/7 and my male time is essentially dress-up. While these feelings do pass, it's hardly possible for my wife to consider the girl whose panties she pulls down before spanking once a week is the Man of the House.

Lately, we've begun discussing moving things forward in another way: putting me on an allowance, with my credit cards and the rest of my income going directly to her. While it's still tentative, it also feels like a when, not if, conversation in some ways. I do like some aspects of the idea, but have reservations about surrendering that much control.

 

Hey all, bumping this after a long hiatus.

The past two years have been very difficult, and chastity play went on the backburner along with a lot else: in addition to the obvious chaos caused by COVID, we also bought a house (along with all the "surprise" repairs and maintenance you need when you first move into a home), and other personal crises unfold.

We've had some frank discussions about what does and doesn't work for her, and have had to make some changes. The little girl aspect of my sissy treatment has stopped; it made her feel too much like she was living with a daughter instead, and she doesn't want a kid.

She's technically still free to cuckold me, but she's not sure if she'll ever do it. She's fine with playing with herself for now. The last time we had sex using my penis was over a year and a half ago, with no real future instance in sight.

We've stopped spankings for now, not because she doesn't like it but because she's felt too overwhelmed to do it for the moment. She was surprised at how much she enjoyed spanking me, so that will likely return once she feels less stressed.

I got a long break from chastity, but I'm locked back inside, permanently. I'm only to be released for the odd bit of cleaning or shaving there (both to be done as rarely as possible), and if she wants to have sex with me (which she hasn't ruled out, but isn't on the horizon either). I'm back in the small cage I linked above, but I'm about to switch to a belt, this one in particular (no plug or rear hole, pink color): https://www.aliexpress.com/item/1005001645111421.html

I'm switching to a belt because A) my testicles have a bad habit of squeezing through the ring sometimes (if I'm lucky it takes weeks, if I'm not just a few days) and I'm tired of feeling it (plus the hassle of having to bother her for the key and redo everything), and B) I'm tired of the bulge in my panties. I want a smooth, flat front when I wear them.

Now that I work from home, my sissy life has come close to 24/7. We've settled into a routine as a couple, with my daily reality being the following:

1. I only wear panties, and most days I wear a bra all day (still debating if I'll have to wear them outside the home)
2. I don't wear socks; i wear pantyhose, knee-high, or thigh-high stockings. I'm considering buying a garter belt since they can all be annoying about sliding down.
3. I remove all my body hair. Waxing works the best, but she won't wax me and I can't do my entire body (and salons are too expensive for full body waxing), so for now it's Nair treatments as needed.
4. I've got my own makeup bag, filled with makeup, and have been practicing. I don't wear it most days (she prefers me without it), but I'm working on getting passable so I can go out dressed for halloween or possibly fetish nights at clubs/other safe spaces. I do have a glittery lip gloss she picked out for me that I can wear daily.
5. I wear negligees and babydolls to bed, and sleepshirts or sundresses during the day. Even when I go out, I wear women's slacks or jeans.
6. We stopped getting mani-pedis when we moved, but we intend to start going back soon. I'll have french tips at all times, and my toenails will be painted.
7. I'm no longer allowed to touch her sexually or see her naked body without her express permission. I have to earn those privileges; all I get otherwise is the odd hug or kiss on the cheek.

She's not wanting to discipline me for any of this; she expects me to be the sissy we both know I am without her having to stay on me about it. She's told me that I'm a girl and to accept it, and she refers to me as her wife or housewife. I have to handle all the housework and yard work, laundry, and cooking. She just enjoys being waited on, massaged, and

 

There's been a minor tweak to #7 in my previous post: not only can I not see her naked, I can't even see her in her underwear unless she specifically says I've earned it. I have to avert my gaze or turn away if she does anything that might reveal her panties or bra when I'm in the room, and when she's undressing to change or lay down on the bed for a massage, I have to wait outside the room.

Even though it's only been a couple days, I'm already feeling the impact of this change. I used to see her in her panties and bra (or even just her panties) throughout the day, especially since we've both been at home during COVID...now suddenly I'm not allowed a look at all. Massaging her feels so different now that there's a towel across her instead of her pantied backside visible to me.

I'm throwing myself into being the best housewife I can be, though truthfully I think I enjoy being teased and denied more than getting sexual release. We'll see if I still feel that way after a few weeks...or months....

 

It's been just about a week, little more, since I started living as the housewife in our home. I've been busy every day with domestic duties: cleaning (including long overdue tiny details, like wiping down baseboards and door frames, or dusting hard to reach places and wall decorations), cooking, laundry, and in general keeping everything tidy and handled for her.

It's been tiring, but I am absolutely loving it. I really feel like I've found my place. I love being her wife, and thinking of myself as a wife, not a husband. I've never felt this fulfilled before, and all of the submission: cleaning up after her, serving her dinner before myself, being unable to see her undressed in any form, all of it is just incredible.

I'm hoping we can take this further over time, but I'm being patient: I don't want to get too eager too fast. There will be plenty of time for discussions about going further after it's been a few months and I'm consistently doing well at this.

It's been rough being locked up for a week straight, especially since I can't even get the partial thrill of seeing her in her underwear or naked. I'm hoping that eventually we can make my chastity permanent and denial of orgasms permanent. Ideally, I'd like to be let out once or twice a year to be given a "chance" to cum, but the circumstances make it impossible (i.e., forced to use a toy, numbing cream and multiple condoms applied, incredibly short amount of time to try, and so on) so I'll in effect just be getting incredibly frustrated and denied before being locked up again. Hopefully, one day I'll be frustrated enough to be reduced to tears and begging, only for her to say "no". We'll see, I guess.

 

Well, my chastity is on hold for now; I had a testicle squeeze through the ring, which I had hoped wouldn't occur anymore after a lot more time being used to this device. I removed the device, cleaned everything thoroughly, and put it back one, making sure to use vaseline to keep it from sticking and perhaps making slippage more likely.

Today, BOTH testicles squeezed through. Problems with this happening is part of why I stopped wearing this device before, but I was hoping to stay locked up until my new belt arrives in a few weeks. That won't be happening, clearly. Hopefully I can get the belt to fit properly.

 

One came out, and then about a half hour later the other squeezed through.

The one I bought came with three different rings, and the one size smaller is too small for me. It's moot at this point anyway, if I can't get the belt type one to work, I'm not sure I'll be able to continue with chastity. We're not going to spend the kind of money it takes for a custom fitted belt.