I’m sure there are many of you who fantasize or once fantasized about doing locktober, but struggled to or still struggle to think they could ever pull through with one full month of denial. How do I “man up” to begging for a whole month of chastity? I know if I asked her to deny me for the whole month, no matter how hard I beg, she would do it. I struggle to take the plunge into the unknown darkness that is full loss of control, despite the fact that I fantasize about it daily... I just struggle so bad trying to sleep whilst aroused...
How long have you gone before? There comes a point where your body settles and accepts no orgasms and the urge is more readily pushed to the back of your mind (until something makes it leap forward like a tease session etc), for me, that period is about 2 weeks. I've done 3 week stints fairly often, longest is 5 but didn't find that any more challenging than 3. Ultimately, you either will or won't and its your own will power that will dictate if you can (your partner doesn't sound "in charge" as such) Sen
It's a good idea to build up to long periods of chastity. Jumping straight in at a month or longer is quite hard. There is No_Vember as well. Maybe use the time between now and then to go two weeks, then three? Good luck.
Locktober NOvember Denial December After that you might as well continue to Valentines day If you have a cage that fits well and doesn't cause discomfort, and you can maintain hygiene, and you have managed a week then managing 31 days without a single unlock is merely an act of will. Fighting against urges that are built into the fabric of your being is just difficult. Not impossible though. Go for it. You won't regret the experience but you will regret not doing it. In my limited experience the first three weeks is the worst. I get so horny that I can barely function. Tell her that you will do absolutely anything she wants if she will take the keys and deny you. Keep a journal, either just for yourself or to share, as it makes seeing changes more interesting and fun. You can absolutely do it.
I started doing chastity almost 24/7 since last November and have been fantasizing about Locktober long before that. However, my chastity experience also includes giving control of my cage to my KH wife and I make a strong personal effort to try not to influence her decisions to lock or unlock. She knows when I'm horny and also knows I enjoy that feeling. I get a real thrill not knowing if or when I will be released and my wife would hate the cage if I kept begging her to let me out. I have subtly mentioned "this thing called Locktober" to my wife and secretly hope she will remember and keep me locked that whole month, but my plan is to let her decide and see what happens. I'm also a bit nervous that if she goes for that entire month without release then the future could bring many more months without release and I may not be fully prepared for that.
Only you and/or your key holder can make a decision if you follow Locktober. Everyone will be at a different stage in their chastity journey, for some a month is a relatively short chastity period. My KH/wife has never really brought in to it as we often have periods covering multiple months. When I have mentioned it before she has given a delightful chuckle and says something along the lines of its not like you were going to be unlocked anyway. If you are new to the lifestyle it can take a while to even find a device that suits you. That is key to longer lockups. In saying that if you have covered comfort and practicality why not try it, if you enjoy the concept, you have nothing to lose.
I find the first week or two can be the most difficult but then it gets to a point where you settle down and get used to being locked. You'll still get horny days though. There's no escaping that
Similar situation here. Brought it up, and she is up for it. Been making preparations. New open cage for cleaning so I don't have to unlock daily. And a harness and strapon for me to use caged so she isn't missing out, which she may or may not take to. She has to choose the vixskin she wants. She hasn't guaranteed the month, as she might not want to go that long herself, so we'll see. I'm excited to find out. And am a bit scared she might like her new faux too much. But that's part of the appeal, right?
@Chaste2be , Assuming you have a good fitting cage, my advice would be to explain Loctober and your mixed feelings and hand the decision (and keys) over to her. This is a great opportunity to grow together (yes, you will survive if she "goes for it" even if it seems at times otherwise, and if she doesn't it will give you a chance to understand why not and support her in whatever ways she wants/needs). No offense, but you have a lot of "I"'s above when at least 51% of this should be about her. THAT has been the one thing that makes longer lockups tolerable/fun for me.
Unfortunately our play has been limited to a day max here and there, we are by no means familiar with extended lock ups but I know it’s in our future… She has expressed interest in making me go for longer duration lockup’s starting with a couple of days here and there. I know that doesn’t sound like much to a lot of you guys, but I know it means she has it in her to take charge. I guess what I am trying to find here is the courage to nudge her down the fruitful path of learning to truly say “no” to me despite any protest I may have.
I love the enthusiasm! From what I gathered from your post, I definitely need to work up to a week. I know it’s definitely in our cards. How do you manage those three weeks where you are so horny you can’t function? I find I too loose focus and can’t get things done when I’m being teased and denied, even if just for short periods of time.
The good thing about chastity play is there are no set rules, it's what works for you and your partner. My wife used to feel guilty about keeping me locked, especially as for most of our marriage she was a giver (hand jobs / blow jobs during her period etc) so not giving me an orgasm was a foreign concept. She will likely respond to feedback. If you have a session just for her (whatever non penis based sex act she enjoys) don't even hint at unlocking and thank her for allowing you to pleasure her. When things are normal, talk about how being denied made you feel, be honest, women are good BS spotters. Don't try and hide the downsides, that the cage is uncomfortable at times etc, it'll help reassure her you aren't hiding anything. Lockup times can vary, if you usually have an orgasm every day, then a lockup period of 2 days may be challenging to begin with, as you get used to 2 days, look to extend it out to 3, rinse and repeat. Talk a lot with your OH about things, she may not want to be denied your penis for lengthy times, it is after all meant to be about what our key holders want, not us
I think I'm ready for Lockober. I've gone a week, then 10 days. I've done a 20, and to be honest, I was a little reluctant to lose the high for just a fleeting moment of bliss. I will be celebating (not a typo) my first Chastiversary in October, and hopefully it will be my longest "Challenge Accepted"! LET'S (NOT) DO IT!
Stay busy. Do some of those jobs you have put off for years, sort the garden out, decorate, if you have a KH pour attention on her. Wear yourself out mentally and physically if you can. Just stay away from porn and whining.