1st time doing chastity as Alpha male...guidance please!

I guess the odds that they are doing that as well is pretty low as whilst it does seem to be a growing kink it still is a fairly niche area I think. I do know what you mean though, when locked up for a while and feeling so much devotion it can be so easy to feel hurt at what was probably an innocent comment that could sound like a loss of respect or hurtful comment.

Most important thing if she does tell someone is just to be sure you would still be happy to meet them and not feel uncomfortable.

 

The likes of Amazon and eBay only sell stuff if they can shift lots of it and make a profit, so the fact that chastity cages are sold on these websites (and many other sites) suggests that this kink is more popular than we realise. There are probably millions of cocks worldwide that get locked from time to time.

Maybe the reason we don't realise it is that people tend to keep it a secret and don't tell other people.

 

If you're worried that she may think you're weak for wanting your cock locked, why not ask her about that and find out?

 

Hey Joey,

You and your fiance have been communicating a lot - that is great! You have researched the topic quite a bit which is great. I'm curious how much research your fiance has done on her own - or is it more just learning from you?

Since you are both communicating openly, I think you both need to define your wants and your boundaries. Take a look at a contract. Whether you actually do one or now, pretend you are doing to do one. They are all over the place and wide ranging in terms what people want. If you and your fiance look at some of those, I think you'll be able to quickly complete your plan and just move into this as a lifestyle. That would mean you would set parameters like you don't want friends to know etc. or she can't do it without your approval. Just because you're locked up, doesn't mean she can literally do whatever she wants; unless that is what you said you wanted when you agreed to terms.

Does she know you want to do this more long term? I could see it has funny or cute to tell a friend if you were locked up and it was just a kink you were going to do that day ... like the role playing stuff "my fiance has a wig and nurse outfit for tonight" etc, but I'd be less interested in my social circle knowing that I was going to lock my cock up all of the time etc. I fantasize about this and I think it is hot, but I think it is too risky. I think one thing that you've found already though, even talking about this is pretty edgy and can get plenty of tension between you just threatening. Why not keep it there. For me a more realistic idea would be for my wife to go on a vacation together and see what we could do to try and get noticed by strangers where we were at, say her wearing a key in a bar with me doting all over her or something.

At first, you kept wanting to know if she was into this and just kept dropping hints yourself. I sounds like it has become clear that she is totally into this. You want to chase. She wants to be chased. You're intoxicated by her more than ever. I don't see what long term damage there could be. I'd say on some rules, boundaries and a release schedule. I think that framework in itself will address your concerns and you are well on your way!

 

It's very obvious you have to be careful what you wish It's obvious your Lady loves you and love this game as well and keeping you on your toes. It's never bad to surprise her for embracing your new journey maybe flowers or gift then she will get even more hooked when see the romantic side too and your appreciation for her. You know her better if she would appreciate that. As much as you are arroused about the whole thing it important to remember the other things too. What woman could complain about a man doing chores and buying her flowers? Don't think so! There's a saying that most guys would get more sex if they did more chores since many woman have too much on their plates already. In this case the sex could be replace with the kink instead.

Regarding tellling a friend there's always the risk that the friend tell others. Don't think you should push that one too hard maybe in a flirty playful way. It's one of those things you can't force more a conversation or a person at the right time. Let's say they where discussing sex or who does what at home would fit to bring up. I agree it would be hot if she shared it with the right person. Must say it wouldn't be fitting to tell anyone maybe that's why she is truggling to find the right one. Not all want to know about it or would be open enough. As long as she keep you on the toes she might do it when you least think so.

I think more relationship get ruined by a lazy man and the woman is doing all the housework. So actually think this creates a stronger bond opens up for her to have more time chasing you instead of have million chores to do. Think you are doing the right thing and communicate openly. Just be open about it and let her know at some point if it becomes too much for her she should let you know. In the long run maybe she sometimes need a slower period. As it is now she is excited and she seems to like it a lot. Don't think you should worry too much. The more she knows your kinks she might be using them against you so the fun has just started Looking forward to reading about what will happen...

 

She really dig humiliating you The visible bulge was very creative. The strip club thing really surprised me maybe she is a bit more kinky than you might have expected The rules is a great idea especially as a chastity contract it's very arrousing to know you signed over the right to her and you have no say Love the humiliation fetish. Surpiced me how she choose a pink device for someone I would expect being vanilla in the beginning. Great follow up and super exciting development lately.

 

Communication. Let her know that you would still like to get some of that. Or maybe set dates were you can take some time for good old fashion affection

 

That's actually a really good question. Now everything is new for both of you so many things could still happen. Personally I have learned when having a relationship that's ONLY kink based isn't good long term. Must say it's also if it start like this as well where what you got in common. There must me more than the kink that keeps a couple together. On the other hand if you have a relationship where the kink doesn't match that can be a issue too. If you still got more than the kink you are on a safer ground than just having the kink as common ground. Both of you have known each other for 4 years so maybe this is just a new spice in your relationship so assume you would stand much stronger. This is solely based on personal experience. Simply don't believe a relationship should solely be based on kink. This is new for both of you so why not just enjoy maybe later you would tone it a bit down. You could still have a romantic relationship besides this common kink. I'm glad I can write common kink but seems like your girlfriend got the same kink now!

 

Hey Joey,

Yes, we are ourselves day to day. That's what i meant when I said it felt like you were still in more of a role playing mode with this and that you'(you and her) will need to settle in a normal day to day life where it is just part of your life. Chastity will still allow the kink tension to pop up at any moment. But day to day stresses and tension will at some point deter interest. So, just like normal life. But I have found in those down moments (you're stressed about your job, you kids, you relatives going through a hard time etc), my interest in sex will bounce back way quicker than if I wasn't locked. Then a day or so later, you're doing kinky shit with her sitting on your face. But chastity can't stop you from being overwhelmed in the rest of your life etc. If you keep going with long term, you'll start to enjoy the ride more than the destination.

I have a thought on the bossy factor with your fiance. I think you are both are still following your old instincts. Like this is a role play thing. You both agree that you like long term permanent chastity. However, I don't think you both want long term permanent role play. So you both need to settle into normal life. As I was saying you were following your instincts to cross the finish line - you were locked up and it was going to end with an orgam for you and the cage was just a prop etc. You are starting to settle in, now you need to do it together. At the moment, it feels like she hasn't come off of kink / role play mode yet. That is great, you're getting into it! But that will fade. The same themes can constantly remain though, they can just be toned down. Your both sitting watching tv - you're rubbing her feet. When her drink gets low, you ask her if you can get her a refill. You use the nick names you came up with here and there subtly instead of dramatically all of the time. But then, at any moment all of that kink can come back at a moments notice. When she demands it or when you express the need for more kink in so many words. I'll refer back to what I said before that this will evolve in a way that works for you both. I think you both now need to let "normal" settle back into the picture and see what that looks like. I'll always go for some fun kinky stuff, but you'll find that when you let "normal" settle in, your heightened senses and attraction to her will allow the most simple things and gestures drive you wild. Most of the locked up guys here have a challenge that their KH doesn't push the buttons and pull the levers of their locked up partner. We crave the extents your fiance is at and we but we love the the subtle stuff as well. For you guys though, I think you just need to start to learn how to dial things back so you can get on with life, but of course throttle up as often as possible.

Dude - keep it up! I think at this point, you should be providing tips to everyone else here! You're like the Doogie Houser or Bobby Fisher of chastity!

 

Have you mentioned CM to her?

 

You know sometimes the most shy are the wilder in reality. Think it's a hell of a confidence boost for her as well. In the begining I think it's a good idea to guide her but I would assume she would get it very soon which seems obvious already It's like you get raise to treat people the right way. If you have a partner you don't say humiliating things but when you approve it and say to her you like it. Then maybe she gets into it since she know you like it and don't hold back. So it gets a whole new meaning for her and you. So I'm not in doubt she could call the shots herself from now on. Of cause a little guidance since she might not know all that you like. The most important don't top from the bottom as they say. Trying to get her to do your kinks. Let her at all times be the one in control. Keep her needs the most important.

I know the character thing when you are totally absorbed in this thing you feel like "one" with that character. Being aroused and thinking with the chastity belt. Besides that there's also the normal life you mention work, gym it's not like chastity is forgotten more like it in the background. Even if it's constantly in your mind. Would probably say takes more space when it's new rather when you have done it for years. Being aroused of cause will always bring your thought to your Lady could happen at work or any place. It's easy the chastity takes over every minute of the day since us guys sometimes thinks with the thing we lockup.

I know it can feel overwhelming if she is moving faster than you expect think you should let her decide the speed just try to keep up. Just don't pressure about chastity just let her do it and do as she say. Then you might be on for a hell of a ride

 

I experienced ones a woman staring me down there for a long time where wearing joggers the cage stood out a bit. I general I haven't expericed it maybe because it's less visible when wearing certain clothes. To be honest I have no idea how much women look at guys down there. I assume from the description the way it's worn it's a bit more obvious than usual? Do you know if that mega dong reached out while you played chastity? It's obvious you really enjoy the humiliation part.

 

I understand the whole dilemma both from a relationship and kink perspective. Just curious what was up with the mega dong showing up in the middle of this. Good you got the talk might solve it. I understand you like when she mention mega dong etc. Probably her way adding little humiliation to the game with the showing the cage thing. I see the humiliation part as well if someone notice it is a cage. Nice you finally being your normal self too. It's good she hasn't forgot about the cage and you still love the whole thing. The journey continues....

 

I was in a store once and there was a lady shopping and the owner. I had to stretch up to check something out and I guess the lady was checking me out. She made a purchase and left before I did. When I checked out the owner said that he had never happen to him but the lady told him that I had a nice package. If they both only knew the reason

 

It was the same cage for me at the time lol

 

If you really are an "alpha male" then it doesn't really matter what you and your partner do to get each others' rocks off, does it?

Embrace your kinks. 8P

I mean, as long as you're not, like, eating babies or sacrificing kittens in Time Square or something like that.

 

oops double post