I'm a 33 year old bi male and I'm happily married to my wife (30) for 5 years now. We have a really good relationship, but our sex life has declined over the last few years. We've tried some new things like BDSM but that didn't last long. Our PIV activities have decreased a lot and my wife said it was a problem for her (not just the PIV, but the lack of sexual attention mostly). In the last years I've found my own "solution" with porn on the internet, mostly its easy and I've found some new kinks that way, but of course that caused the lack of attention for my wife. Just to be clear, our relation is fantastic and this isn't a deal breaker, but it is something I really want to improve. In comes chastity. I've tried chastity before in my younger and experimenting years, and I found it quite interesting to say the least. To give up the ability to touch myself is exciting and results in some very interesting behaviour that I realised my wife might also like. I've been trying some chastity devices now in the last few months to discover if it's something I can be locked in for 24/7, I'm fairly certain the next device I have in mind would work perfectly. On valentines day I'm going to reveal my chastity gift to give her the attention she needs, and I'm fairly confident that she will be onboard with this. Just this weekend she told me how fun our first few months together were where she had all the pleasures and me almost nothing. I'm really excited and I hope this will help with giving my wife the attention she needs
hello and welcome. Have you actually discussed chastity with your wife? It might be a bit overwhelming for her if she is just confronted with it on Valentine's day without a chance to talk or think through the benefits. Good luck
I can’t help but agree with this, there’s always a chance it may not be a welcome surprise if it’s just sprung on someone.
@Darlydixon Thanks, and I will! @LesterBallard @Nicolas Caged Yes I agree and I'm very well aware that this might not be a welcome surprise. I'm a bit excited, so I might have brought this a bit to "I'm telling and she is going to like it" kind of way, but I'm actually going to feel the water first to see how she feels about chastity. Thanks for the warning tho, I do need to keep myself from skipping these important steps
So I've talked to my wife yesterday and she is a bit on the fence, but I think she wants to give it a go. I've told her it maybe is a bit weird but I want to spice up our sex live and give her some more attention. In the end she was quite ok with it and liked that I wanted to do something about it. I've sent her an article that is quite vanilla (https://ezinearticles.com/?Chastity-Control-in-a-Loving-Relationship&id=5807358) to hopefully ease her mind a bit and get her a bit excited. Anymore vanilla articles suggestions are welcome
Update: she thought about it some more, but she decided she didn't want to do it She is weirded out by the idea of locking me up, and thinks I should give her more attention without chastity. I actually agree but wanted to spice things up as well. I'm a bit disappointed but I guess there is nothing more I can do at this point.
Have patience, use the honor system for no masturbation and emulate in your mind that you're caged. Give her the proper attention let her know you are in chastity for her pleasure. Possibly allow her to unlock you before you interact with her.
I usually say... “Welcome to chastity mansion! Good luck with your journey”! But, your journey got off to a rough start! Not all bad! Yet! Focus on your positives, she didn’t just say “Absolutely Not”!!! Give her time! Maybe try.... Keep locking up, self lock and unlock when time permitting! Keep giving your wife attention and subtle sex! Make it about her!!! Not you or your pleasures or orgasm! That what’s she wanting! To feel like the queen again!!! Chase her, show attention like you did before you penetrated her muffin! To start, your lock ups don’t have to be long! Could be hours or 1 day. Don’t just take HER dick completely away just yet! She’ll do that later after after you show her where her orgasms are going to cum from! Now’s the time to spice up your sex life with your tongue, fingers and toys! And then slowly work the cage back in! Good luck! Keep us posted! Pep talk.... Now get back in the game! It’s a long game and your just in the first inning!!! And your up!
@StubHub @LockedbyFridayGirl thanks for the pep talk! I was really disappointed but you both are right, I should give her some time, give her more attention and try it again later on. Thanks!
You may want to see if you can engage her in day play first. Think of it more as “all day forplay” on a Saturday and she can unlock you that night when she is ready. Maybe even have it so that you have to earn your release for Saturday night otherwise she unlocks you on Sunday.
Just take it slowly. She's not happy with the physical manifestation of chastity - licking up - which isn't remotely surprising, frankly, so show her the benefits without all the trappings. I'll be honest, I think that will be good for you, too, because you'll have a chance to separate observance from display. Good luck