The next stage in my journey: learning by observing Female submission

It's not a clickbait title, but you will have to stick with me for a bit lol.

I've lived in FLR with my Wife for several years now, and it's been a constant journey of struggle and self-learning. When I first chose to submit, I had this ridiculous vision of total slavery to my Wife that I just shake my head at now. I learned that wasn't going to happen and decided to take what I could get...

Take what I could get!?! That's ridiculous! That led me to my first great lesson in submission. It's not what I want, it's what she wants. Yeah, it sounds dumb, but I'm a guy and it took me a while to figure that out. Yes, it took me months to figure out what most everyone here intuitively knew already. Sigh. However, I grabbed onto that thought, tied a knot in it and held onto it with all my might. I knew I had made a step forward and I didn't want to lose it.

Now, figuring that out, and actually doing it, well, that's another story. It probably took me another year to get to the next stage: Letting Her do what she wants, and accepting it. It's that second part -acceptance- that was the trick for me. It's easy to just shrug your shoulders and think, "Yeah, let the girl do it, it's all part of this submission thing, but I'm gonna let her know I disagree and be all bitchy about it." Yeah....no. It can't work that way.

Acceptance has been the great evolutionary stage for me. Acceptance that she knows best, acceptance that I do the chores She gives me without complaint, acceptance that I get only the kink She gifts, acceptance that my role as a leader will never return. Acceptance that I am to support, to give, and to carry out. Acceptance that I'm not a thinker in this relationship, I'm a doer.

As I journeyed along this acceptance path I realized that there is personal acceptance as above, and later, PUBLIC acceptance. This is when I made that step towards acting one way at all times. I can't be alpha boy at the social gathering and a dutiful sub at home, I have to be a dutiful sub for Her at all times and all places. Strangely, this was a bit easier for me than the personal acceptance. I guess I'm just spoiled and I had to learn some humility along the way.

An evolution of the acceptance route is acceptance of the future. While this is a happy step, it's still one that came at me rather suddenly. Not that I wish it, but there will never be freedom for me. I will kneel before Her and pledge fealty to Her every day for the rest of my days. Acceptance that I will never enjoy the embrace of another woman - I will stay locked and only ever remove my chastity device when She bids it. My Mistress has made it plain that as we grow old together, my path will be harder, not easier. Our positions in authority will grow ever farther apart. We will retire to the place of Her choosing, and live the life of Her choosing. My role in that life will be entirely of service to Her and those She wishes me to entertain. And my role as a sub will be possibly be more public than ever, as She intends to further her own journey as a Domme in a public way. I think my acceptance of this brings a personal validation that this life I chose for myself is indeed the life I want, or otherwise I would want to end my journey here. This is the happiest step, and possibly the scariest step so far. I will be the non-decider in the relationship forever.

So now I've come to a stage I recently decided to call Docility. This is where my acceptance becomes pure and my following of Mistress' will becomes joy. I fully accept my role as in my relationship, and realize this was never a burden, it is a journey toward being the best person I can be. It is being led towards release- not confinement. I am now released from my inner turmoil, my self-doubt, and my arrogance. I can now be selfless and open to making the love of my life the happiest person She can be, and by doing so, I can also be happy. It is very much a religious time for me. As a person opens themselves to be a tool for doing good, I try to be that selfless person filled with charity as well. As a husband, I've always felt deep love for my Wife, as a submissive I feel entirely devoted to Her in a way very few men can.

So now I've come to the title of this thread. I want to be a great submissive. I think that I should be proactive and not rely only on Mistress instruction but look to what I can learn from others. And I realized that perhaps unironically, women are the best teachers. For centuries, millennia even, women have selflessly given all of themselves to their men. I don't mean in the BDSM way, I mean in a devotion-for-life way. They have followed their men across continents, given of themselves, given birth, raised children, and run households and done it all without a last name or even a first name. So many women are lost to time but they have collectively done so very much for all of us.

I got a letter yesterday, sent to "Mr. and Mrs. Sub Snuggler." It hit me like a slap in the face. How do I get this distinction of a first and a last name on this hand-written letter, while my Miss does not? She is the one that runs this house, I'm the one told to check the mail for Her. I was so deeply hurt by this. By distinction of my gender, I get a name but She does not. Suddenly I saw how unfair this was. It was a moment of deep clarity of the gender differences society imposes on us.

Despite this, or maybe because of this, women have this purity of heart that all men should emulate. For most women it is not necessary to have that envelope addressed to them. They follow their leader, they give their undying love, and give all they have, washing his underwear and picking up his socks, and asking for nothing but a hug and a kiss. They hug him when he lost his job, and they lie under him and allow him penetration after 12 beers and a football game with his dumb jock friends. This is love, this is life, and this is the kind of deep humility that I find inspiring and can only hope to live up to. This is a simple lesson that every woman can teach. The actions are easy but the goodwill behind it are monumental. I want to say thank you to every woman out there and let them know they are the very best gender. Whether in dominance or submission, women are without a doubt the best at what they do.

I know for so many of you these lessons are obvious and perhaps didn't need to be written down, but thank you for listening to me.

TLDR; as a man I want to be a good submissive when I am surrounded by great women who can teach me by example.

 

I love it! I love the story behind your screen names! It's clear that you two are living the dream!

 

Calibob, thank you for a great comment. Partners in a great quest it seems. I wish you the best in becoming the person you and your wife deserve, although truthfully it seems if you are already there and polishing the gem you already are.