The beginning

Discussion in 'Member fiction' started by L-u-c-y, Jan 20, 2020.

  1. L-u-c-y
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    Staff Member Owner of Chastity Mansion Administrator Verified Female

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    It had been a great night, Jane loved being out with her friends. The bar was full of young people having fun, drinking, and laughing - her best night out for ages. It was late though and she had missed her last train home. So, nightbus or taxi? The nightbus would still leave her a mile and a half walk to her apartment and it was likely to rain. Taxi then!

    The short cut through the alley to get to the high street seemed the best bet, but was quite spooky, but she'd done it many times before. Tonight though, half way down, she felt uneasy, something wasn't right. 'Hello darlin!' He appeared from behind a dumpster, right at the darkest point in the alley, she was scared! 'Oh don't be frightened little lady, I won't hurt you ... MUCH!' She turned and tried to run, but her heels were not built for speed. He was upon her, dragging her to the ground. 'Shhh you bitch!' He slapped her, she was screaming, crying out. 'Hold still!' Now tearing at her clothes, she knew this was going to be bad. His breathing loud, sweat dripping off his face, he was frenzied.
    She was on her back, he was bearing his weight down on her, she could not break free. 'You are going to love it bitch!' He shouted, slapped her again.

    This was it, she knew what was coming, she started to pray he would not kill her. Then suddenly, no weight! She was free. She opened her eyes, they were blurred with her tears and the darkness was so black. But five metres away, she could make out a black silhouette, arm outstretched. At the end of the arm, she could see the man, held up by his throat, legs dangling, choking sounds as the black silhouette held the rapist aloft with remarkable ease. Suddenly, a small scream and his body fell to the floor! She stared, eyes wide open. Who, what, was this? Then the black silhouette turned and caught her eye to eye. Deep green eyes, piercing, shining bright. It moved toward her, she started to panic, was she next?

    'Don't worry, it's over. That filth wont hurt you now'. A woman, a woman's voice! Her eyes cleared. She could not make out her face, the eyes were still piercing bright, but she was dressed in a black skintight outfit, gold stripes. 'Who are you?' The woman stepped back, eyes still transfixed. 'Tonight, I'm your saviour, but I may not always be here to save you. Make better choices!' She turned to leave. 'Wait! he's stirring, please don't leave!' The woman laughed. 'Oh that! Don't worry about that filth, it won't be hurting anymore women, ever!' She was gone!

    Jane got up and ran out to the main road and flagged down a passing police car. They went into the alley and there greeting them was the rapist. On his knees, head bowed, palms of his hands pointing upwards. The police arrested him and took him away.

    A week later, Lucy was at the garage waiting for her car to be serviced. She sat in the waiting room, crossed her leather clad legs, her black Louboutin boots gently moving as she watched the TV on the wall. The news was on and she read the subtitles. 'Doctors still puzzled over the alleged rapist found on his knees in a town alley. When the police arrested him, he seemed very submissive and timid, tests carried out on the man revealed he was in good health, apart from what appeared to be a snake bite on his neck!' Lucy continued to watch. 'Tests on the bite mark showed some form of toxin was present and further blood tests on the rapist revealed a strange compound had entered his bloodstream'. Another scientist appeared on the screen. 'This is a remarkable find, the patient appears to have transformed from a violent sex offender to a passive subservient slave. Every time a female walks by he bows and falls to his knees. But the most interesting find of all, he is also completely impotent!' Lucy's mouth ever so slightly broke into a smile.

    To be continued...


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  2. LesterBallard
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    LesterBallard Long term member

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    excellent start, MIss
     
  3. Vanillabusting
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    Like where this is going.
     
  4. CagedAnimal2
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    CagedAnimal2 Long term member

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    Great story so far Miss Lucy!
     
  5. JKisChaste
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    JKisChaste Active member

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    Brilliant Miss. Gripping. Can’t wait to read more.
     
  6. Blue00
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    Blue00 Member

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    Thank you for sharing your creativity. I was very disturbed by reprehensible crime at the start. I was relieved when the mysterious viligante appeared to save the day. I loved the Twilight Zone like ending and look forward to the next chapter of the mysterious viligante.

    I do have one question. Why did the heroine tell the victim to "make better choices" instead of directing that comment to the rapist? I am hesitant to ask, but I was surprised by a comment by the heroine which seemed to blame the victim. I suspect there is something here that I am missing. Perhaps it will be explained in a future installment?

    I look forward to additional adventures in righting wrongs! Please keep it going.
     
  7. DonnaSue
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    DonnaSue Long term member

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    Wonderful start, Miss! Can't wait for more!
     
  8. Cumschot
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    Cumschot Long term member

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    Mooi story
     
  9. filltee
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    filltee Junior Member

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    Now there's some motivation to try and log in more frequently.
     
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