Learning to handle emasculation and chastity.

@Finn-egan , a long time ago I wrote what became one of my most popular posts, in which I described that being locked up is not an act of emasculation, but an act of *harnessing* all that masculine energy.

https://vanillaedge.wordpress.com/2009/07/31/cock-locking/

When I wrote that, we still did somewhat regular unlockings, but as we approach a more permanent arrangement, the feelings have not changed much at all. I'm usually still randy, and Mrs Edge still loves the attention, and still loves knowing that she has it harnessed. When I put on my harness, I still go at her with a lot of energy because I get a lot of manly satisfaction from making her come until she's satisfied.

The way to not feel emasculated is to *own* that kink. Not that you have to proudly wave it around, but if you're accidentally discovered, instead of hanging your head, just simply explain "After 30 years, me and the wife are just trying things to keep the spark going." You don't have to get into details. Most 50+ year old guys will be envious of how often you're having sex.

 

One I'm still trying to clear is feeling comfortable enough to wear it in public. Like you, I'm afraid people might sense it somehow and I'll end up losing my job.

I find that when I'm in it, I hate taking it off - and it's hard to explain why. It just feels like part of me, somehow. I feel more 'me' than when I'm with it than without it.

If I knew I'd never get caught, I'd just never take it off.

I don't have any problems staying clean, as it cleans nicely in the shower. I went with an open cage design for just that reason.

No problems sleeping through the night either. I credit that to some really good sleep meds. Night time erections don't wake me or keep me from getting into REM.

I was worried about urine problems as men over 50 sometimes have difficulty in that department due to enlarged prostate and didn't want the base ring to squeeze the urethra and thus inhibit flow but so far, no issues there either. If anything my stream has actually increased.

Also like you, chastity is my new reality and it's now no big deal. I love it.

 

although not physically restrained by a cage, I am willing to bet a very high percentage of men, particularly those of us in th 50+ bracket, have no sex. So it may not be such a leap of imagination as you think.

Think of it not as what you've lost, but what you've gained - an infinitely better personality, for one, less focused on yourself and more on what's happening around you.

 

I have a friend, just a few years younger than I am, who recently told me that he rarely even thinks about it anymore. I'm sure it's partially because his own wife has lost interest. And I also have heard that some of Mrs Edge's friends aren't very active sexually anymore, so presumably their husbands are not, either.

Mrs Edge and I are having some good, intimate, multiple orgasm producing sex anywhere from once to three times a week (depending on how busy we are). That doesn't sound like emasculation to me.

 

My Wife tells me I have the libido of a teenager, it’s just directed towards making her happy now... I’m 51, have had a major stroke which my neurologist says he didn’t expect me to recover from, let alone be walking, talking and unloading trucks.... but my sex drive has always been high....

 

My wife doesn't doubt my sexuality. She knows that she, as a woman is the apex of my world and the prize above all other worldly delights, and also delights in the power that she has. I'm caged 24/7, only taken out at her whim. I'm kept 'pretty' at all times at home. My life is increasingly focussed on my role...

 

Do I feel emasculated?-nope-our sex life and intimacy is like some sort of tumblr acount that I dare not post here! The majority of couples we know are mostly in dysfunctional relationships to a shocking degree-my wife was talking about renewing our vows a minute ago...chastity and flr are magic tools for the wise

 

Also it's nice for my wife to be able to ride me when she likes...!

 

On a more serious note, the insights i have gained through practising an flr and chastity lifestyle have enabled me as a father to assist my eldest son go through his own gender issues which have been extensive but also amazing to behold (some kids today are incredibly brave)

 

I wasn’t bothered about wearing it out in public, it was work I was worried about, I’m a theatre nurse (O.R for those on the other side of the pond) so my uniform is just a thin set of scrubs, and the first time I wore my cage you could see the outline quite clearly and I though I was going to be spotted, and after a few days I was, but not how I thought I would.
We were sat waiting to start, and one of my friends was looking at my groin, and he just said Jees, I never realised what a massive cock you got! He isn’t gay, but he is very vanilla, it’s just how we all are with each other, and it did make me smile because I thought if only you knew!

 

I started buying pants 1” too long and 2” bigger in the waist.... that seems to give me enough room in the crotch. That and wearing panties seems to hide my device, now a VICE which I love, it hangs straight down and barely moves

 

Something similar happened to me. I was wearing scrubs as well and it's easier to see such things. I was teaching a class and one of my students saw a bulge and just blushed. For those saying 'you can't see anything', that's not always the case.

 

I also never saw it as being "emasculated." It's just something my wife and I do to make sex and our overall relationship better. In other words, it's fun-adult play. I've been locked more or less 24/7 for a year and a half, and had 4 erections during that time. (only 1 in 2019 so far) And we both love it!

 

For me, it's the opposite of emasculation, in fact it's quite empowering.

 

A few years back I started taking pills for high blood pressure which resulted in some erectile dysfunction. Since then my situation has evolved into what feels like emasculation. No more PIV . Now the Bijou rarely comes off and my only regular means of 'release' is some prostate milking via butt plug. I am now required to tuck my chastised penis between my legs during our weekly bondage sessions. Hard to describe how I feel about it all other than I know I'm going further down the rabbit hole....

 

Some dysfunction or major dysfunction? I'm not a doctor, just a patient, but I can tell you you might consider asking your doc to change your medication.

 

You might consider asking your doc to change your medication.
I suppose I could but it's rather embarrassing. My guess is he'd just throw another pill at me. Besides, my Wife/ Mistress has some health issues that make the current arrangement ideal for her as well. Kink has always been a part of our relationship, but our age is catching up with us and I feel we are simply making the best of the situation.

 

Well, if he/she is a good doc, I'd expect you've already been given advice like manage your weight, exercise enough, watch your sodium intake and don't eat grapefruit, so there's likely no better option available than throwing another pill at you. But it would be a different pill, hopefully with no such side-effect on you. This is 2019, there are even drugs that are aimed primarily at African Americans, because they tend to have reduced response to some hypertension drugs that usually work for Caucasians, so there's good chances some pills out there would both work for you and not have the non-erectile effect.

My own lady has her own share of medical issues, so I can tell you that getting rid of even one of your own medical issues can help you better handle the stress from your wife's problems. And it seems to me like your arrrangement should work even if your ED is gone. Of course, whatever you decide is up to you, I don't wish to pressure you, but I do have some experience to share, so I wanted to. Good luck whichever way you go.

 

I've been through many types of blood pressure pill in the hope of finding one without nasty side-effects.

I recall one that I was on, Spironolactone, utterly killed by libido. I mean no erections because nothing turned me on (as opposed to being turned on but the old boy not responding). Turns out one of the things it does is suppress testosterone (and is sometimes used as part of HRT treatment in transwomen).

Just asking to replace it with something else immediately returned things back to normal. So definitely do not suffer in silence.

 

Spironolactone is commonly used by trans women to lower T to castrate levels so I’d expect it to cause problems.

 

Sure, I think I said that.

 

Learning to handle chastity.

Generally wearing my chastity device under clothing in public is OK now. Innitaly I must have looked like a rabbit in the headlights everytime someone looked at me. Real life is so different from that quick femdom chastity porno clip. You don't see the every day stuff in porn.

I used to be or should say still am a self conscious person but it's slowly teaching me to not care as my deeper feelings of submission take over and overide my ego, that said I very recently asked my wife for the key to take it off. We were going to be using the Spa facilities in a nice hotel and I was terrified of being seen by strangers with a strange bulge in my shorts in the steam room or sauna. She didn't give me the key and made me go through with it. At one point my wife left the steam room whilst I was talking to 4 other ladies chaste under my shorts.

There are times when I feel like I am in some kind of pleasurable cloud. It can slow me down and effect my concentration so I have to try and snap out of it.

Lastly, Im not sure what this is and feel a bit embarrassed writing it. On 3 occasions now I have gone 3 weeks of being horny as hell yet totally denied. Nearer the end of the 3 weeks I sometimes feel like I am having this strange orgasm feeling yet I'm not hard and not cuming.