Mental Chastity

I haven't seen a thread on mental chastity, which for me is the crux of genuine chastity and really turns me on. Maybe I haven't ventured far enough along this board though to find one on Mental Chastity. So, I thought I'd start it off by sharing...

I very recently had an unforgettable first-time experience with a very sweet, complex, genuine, younger guy who wanted to explore his submissive side... and anything I wanted to do along with that. Having never opened up to anyone about his erotic desires before, due to the real fear of being judged, and now finding himself in a situation where he could safely open up, things evolved pretty rapidly between us as and he went all-in. I was moved by his bravery in sharing so many deeper aspects of himself and not hiding anything at all. It was yummy witnessing him slowly open. It's such a gift when a person allows themselves to be seen by you and takes the time to really see you too. I haven't been seen like that in a long time -- in fact it's what initially drew me to him. His honesty and openness gave me access to something I've been looking for all my life - his completely open and willing sapiosexual mind to adventure with, without any borders or any restrictions. His innocence was so sweet and his mind so supple to my suggestions.

Having only been in long term vanilla relationships, he didn't know many of the things I talked about. When I explained I was a cuckoldress and I hinted at chastity by using the word in a sentence and he asked me what it meant. I explained the cuckoldress thing, which he didn't fully understand at first but was open to. I didn't go into details about chastity because I didn't want to scare him off... I wanted things to naturally evolve as I slowly introduced him... which of course I did. I started by asking him questions about his masturbation routine. Before long he was forgoing his daily routine simply because that's what I want, and it massively turned him on. He wasn't allowed to touch it at all, except to pee and wash, unless instructed, and he was very very good. Each day that passed his attentiveness grew stronger and communication was high, which I adored, and our conversations got racier. Each night he asked if I would let him cum and I said no, I was enjoying it all too much and that he can last yet another day. I would give him special tasks at night and at work designed to worsen his blue balls and drive him to total distraction. He confessed that he was obsessively thinking of me all the time and that he was also feeling strangely at peace finally, knowing his fate was all in my hands. In truth, I was thinking about him all the time too. By day 5 I said to him, "Congratulations! You are officially in mental chastity, and under the control of a real woman who loves it." He asked what did chastity mean. So cute! He has no idea how hard it is to even find a woman into this. He just accidentally stumbled into all of it.

God, the whole experience was so delicious! I absolutely loved it. I loved waking up in the mornings feeling aroused from his energy, I loved his erotic messages at work and getting to know and share so much about each other, and going to sleep with him on my mind. I loved how powerful and aroused I felt all day long at work. I loved coming up with his torturous tasks and experiencing his strong reactions. It's the most alive and happy I have felt in many years, and in some ways, I felt things Ive never felt before. It's a deeply intimate experience when there is total honesty, and for me it's the whole point of this lifestyle. His commitment to being chaste for me was beyond arousing, and the reason mental chastity was even a possibility. I would have loved to make it official with his first cage, not that he needed it, but mmmmmm, he earned it. I was looking forward to that shopping trip he didn't know about for a cage he didn't know existed. haha

Unfortunately, he already had plans to move to Seattle for a lot of reasons and didn't anticipate meeting anyone like me, ever really, in a million years. And I realized pretty quickly that this was a man with treasurable qualities I would prefer to have as my primary partner not a side-piece or additional lover, and so a long-distance relationship could never physically meet my needs. It's a shame because the mental and emotional connection was everything I've been looking for and he ticked all the other boxes (and I have a lot of boxes). I loved his explorer nature too - so adventurous! Unlimited options for me to explore.

I made the hard decision to break things off for now because I was falling for him harder with every day that passed and he's moving soon. And it's not driveable distance. The thought of taking this long-distance is too unbearable. But... the door is open for the possibility in the future should he decide to relocate to Utah, if I'm still available by then. I have a feeling he's thinking really hard and reconsidering his options right now. But i have no expectations.

I suspect, having experienced the intensity of mental chastity, and it being his first time, and now suddenly living without it, that he won't be able to forget any of this, ever. I certainly won't. I already miss it, and him, like crazy.

 

Wow.... all your messages were really thoughtful and insightful and warmed my heart. Thank you

It's been a rough weekend on both of us. I can feel him very much connected still. I did not have this type of energetic connection with the first guy I wrote about (the chemistry was amazing but when he would leave my house, the psychic connection was ambivalent and would taper off to nothing because he was distracted by other women), so I know that I've found something different here. I realise this all probably sounds a bit weird or unlikely but he's still under mental control of some kind, because I can feel it coming from him. I'm still receiving his energy and constant attentive thoughts whether hes self-denying or not. Its feeding me. And I think he feels me missing him but I cant know for sure if he can read energy the same way. I hope he knows.

I have a lot of thinking to do, but I can't shake the feeling this is To Be Continued....

 

I'm glad you brought this up so I could think about this. I considered and talked about a piercing with the first guy because he had a habit of breaking out of chastity whenever it suited him and I wasn't into this purely to satisfy his kink. It really saddened me that I couldn't trust him at all and it broke the close and warm feelings I had about him. So, whether or not things work out with this lovely man, I'm so glad I broke things off with the last one so I could meet him and discover that the trust aspect, demonstrates his total submission, and is a HUGE part of the arousal for me.

It allows me to feel the high more continuously and actually prepare myself mentally for the drop, because I feel it too. He should never be in charge of his orgasm. The impact on the KH post-orgasm is BIG and so often overlooked.

 

Every day he would check in with me and let me know how it was going and

Every day he would check in with me before I asked about it and let me know how it was all feeling and the things he was noticing about the effects of this control... how it was impacting his day to day life. It was constantly on his mind. He didn't lose the focus.

I never once got the vibe from him that he was interested in cheating - its not his personality and defeats the whole point for him. I told him about my previous experience and how frustrating it was to deal with. His response was,

"I just don't see the point. If you're gonna fight it and act like you're too good for it, then why be there?

Like, lemme sign up for the gym and then complain weights are heavy and I don't need to get in better shape."

I'm pretty good at reading vibes from men. I know the ones that will struggle and probably cheat (with other women) and the ones that are grounded with bigger relationship goals in the face of temptation. I've always caught the cheaters (every single one I had the vibe about) and never once the ones I didn't get the vibe about. Chastity comes with very similar vibe signals. There seem to be two types of guys into this, and I'm mentally attracted to the ones that are devoted. There are enough challenges and obstacles in this lifestyle to create variety without also introducing games of deception.

To answer your other question, had he cheated, I would have emotionally disassociated from him like what happened with the last guy, and it would have brought out a sadistic streak in me in terms of punishment. More importantly, I would have continued looking for someone else and eventually stopped all contact. Without trust there is no real relationship.

 

@John I should mention however that the arrangement we had was less formal than that. He didn't know he was in chastity -- he was on a personal quest to see how far he could go with this, purely to please me, and because of his submissive tendencies. I wanted him to save up and build up his cum for me (I love the stuff! Don't even get me started on the topic.) So it wasn't official chastity yet where it could be considered cheating to break it. I wanted him to discover the joys of chastity before it got more intensive. I very much doubt that he would have broken the streak without discussing it with me first. He loved that I knew everything and was on this journey with him. So what I described above about breaking chastity, would only be applicable had we been much further along.

If he had broken the streak on purpose and told me about it afterwards (which seems highly uncharacteristic), it would have made me reassess how close of a connection we had. But I wouldn't have ended it.

 

Hahaha! That's exactly how he feels about it. Doesn't make his situation any easier when I remind him, but it does help mine

 

Hahaha @John - usually I would agree but I've got a craaazy work day ahead and I'll get waaaay too horny talking about that.

I really understand what you're talking about. He's really different though. Hes not particularly turned on by punishment or meanness or dismissiveness (in fact turned off by it - his vanilla ex was like that), but hugely by being able to please and make me happy, whatever that looks like for me. The affirmation and knowing he's made a big difference to my day really hits spot. He has a truly serving, submissive heart and was arousingly attentive with messages throughout the day, every day whether he was horny or not. He knew it kept us connected in a way I deeply desired and so it pleased him to do so. His service mindedness reminds me a lot of the nature of the subs who Lucy has chosen to serve her. Theres a clarity and purity in his heart. He hasn't been distorted and I was careful not to destroy that. He is really into being tightly restrained though and facing whatever consequences might come to my devilish mind... and that was pretty hot.

So being bad in order to be creatively punished doesn't do it for him. He's never mouthy or cheeky even though he is very witty and sarcastic with friends. He wants to please me soooo badly. The only training he seems to need is the pavlovian response to what turns me on. I got a ways down that road too. Oh and of course, FLR training.

There was total, mutual trust, which felt really good. I'm amazed I wasnt so jaded yet to not give him the chance to show me his sincerity and trust him from the get go.