How To Get Your Partner More Involved

Discussion in 'Chastity and orgasm denial' started by Mistress Jules, Apr 18, 2019.

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  1. Jasmic68
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    Jasmic68 Long term member

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    Why is having chastity as a lifestyle wrong?

    My favourite quote that I have read since we ‘discovered’ Chastity is “Having a fantasy is great. Living it is better.” I understand this isn’t always true, some fantasy’s turn out to be pretty bad when you try them out, but if your fantasy comes true and is still as good as the fantasy promised, then it can become a lifestyle and remain a fantasy.

    Actually, if you have fantasy and enact it, does it remain a fantasy? Or is a fantasy only an idea?

    I’m confusing myself now...
     
  2. MistressLolo
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    Verified Female

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    @Mistress Jules, yes, yes, yes yes and yes. This is EXACTLY what I have been explaining to subby hubby for the past five plus years. I hope he reads this and takes notes. Thank you! Our FLR is not him living out his fantasy and recreating what he has seen a million times over on porn sites with me playing the role of the leather clad mistress. Our FLR is real life. It is about making me happy which in turn leads to his fantasies being fulfilled, but on my terms. I'm happy, he will be happy. I am not turned on by being accosted at the door on my way in from a busy day at work with an hour til the school run just because he's had a free morning and porn binged. We are wired differently. Adore me, I will reward you. Piss me off, your locked cock will remain ignored... So simple...
     
  3. Jasmic68
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    Jasmic68 Long term member

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    This is marvelous! All those rubbish chastity porn captioned images should just be replaced with this.
     
  4. diane49
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    diane49 Member

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    Mistress Jules,
    A great post and advice. I learned some things just by reading.

    Thanks
     
  5. 1SubHub
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    1SubHub Member

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    My wife made it very clear to me the first time I was locked in a chastity cage, in her words "It's my pleasure I'm out for, not yours"
     
  6. Chaste J.
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    Chaste J. Long term member

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    And quite right to! :)
     
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  7. RhiannonT
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    RhiannonT Long term member

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    Great advice. Thanks for sharing
     
  8. hardbodysub
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    hardbodysub BrokeTheMold

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    Perfectly articulated. His desires and fantasies are absolutely subordinated to your desires and demands, but they aren't totally irrelevant, because they provide additional motivation for him to cater to your wants.
     
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  9. lovetohearno
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    lovetohearno Active member

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    Well said!

    For us it boils down to “Happy wife, happy life”. I try to remember this especially when I tend to overcomplicate something. Things always turn out better this way.
     
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  10. mlcf
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    mlcf Obedient

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    That is something interesting to know... As we got deep in CB, my wife pushed me to interesting behavioral... Long kisses at night, I´m forbidden to talk about sex (with include mention the chastity), lots of cuddle at the bed, massages and other things.. If I do well I can make her have two or three orgasms a week. I measure in orgasms because I lerned that if she has two at one night it very possible to have a long wait time for next time.. IT is interesting... Normally I have an orgasm when I too excited... One time she dresses with my favorite fantasies. And as soon as I got to the point of no return she stopped. And told me to not waste too much energy at once.
     
  11. kdog
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    kdog Member

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    "Happy Wife, Happy Life" is definitely the take away here. When I let my fantasies and impulses take control, I just piss Her off and don't get anything. However, if I'm patient and focusing on her non-sexual needs, the future always holds some play time. It's just on Her time and it may not happen for a few days or more.
     
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