I have been married 8 years. My wife does like to be the boss in the marriage. I am Ok with that and she gets her way most all of the time. I wish my wife was more interested in sex and kink. I am here to get ideas about spicing things up in the bedroom
Start in the kitchen not the bed room. By being unconditionally nice to her and doing things you wouldn’t normally do like, the dishes, cleaning the kitchen, washing floors, etc. By treating her like a Queen your chances of her getting more interested in sex and your kink should increase. This formula isn’t perfect but it’s worked for me for many years. I’m not complaining about our sex life and her commitment to my kinky side. Life is Great.
That's already been done - for years. I do all the house cleaning including getting on my hands and knees to wash the floors. She never does housework and she can go shopping and travel all she wants. She is the queen. I have told her that I need sex in our marriage. She gave an effort. I was giving her baths and massages which would lead to me pleasuring her with my tongue (she doesn't like intercourse) I really thought she was enjoying it. About a twice a week she would ask for a bath and it would always lead to me giving her oral sex. Then it all stopped again. That was about 6 months ago. I have given up asking. She just seems to have no sex drive
Have you been locked up for her? If not, you might suggest being caged with her holding the key - just so you can overcome your masturbation problem. (Most women seem to find that particularly revolting. ) Perhaps, she might do that to help you out!
It definitely sounds like your committed to serving her needs. Sitting down and having a heart to heart talk is always helpful.
Assuming your wife is about your age, a disinterest in sex is likely due to menopause, not how frequently you clean the kitchen floor or bathe her. She should talk to her gynecologist.
Thanks for all the responses. She is the same age - 51. Menopause started several years ago. I suppose it's possible that is why she has no sex drive but there were periods of time that she really enjoyed being licked after the menopause started. But I do think the affects of menopause last for years. Maybe it comes and goes. I have had the conversation with her about masturbating. She simply doesn't care if I masturbate or not. I wish she did. As far as a chastity device - I like the idea but I sincerely believe they do not work unless you get pierced. I wasted a few thousand dollars trying various devices. Recently I spent about $800 buying various sizes of the Holy Trainer. It's easy to pull my cock out and put it back in regardless of the size of the ring or length of the tube. Same goes for a mature metal and custom Titanium device I tried. All a big waste of money. The honor system is Ok for me. I like not masturbating for a week at a time because I like to feel horny. I was going to introduce the chastity device to my wife if I found one that actually worked. But like I said - she really doesn't care if I masturbate or not so she probably wouldn't have went for it anyway. Maybe things will improve over time. I know she really likes having her pussy and asshole licked when she is in the mood for it. And she has no desire to suck my cock or have intercourse - that turns me on big time. I love being denied and pleasing her with my tongue. I think I have that in common with most of the men here. right?
Since writing my introduction here I have made a bigger effort to seduce my wife. I was allowed to give her oral sex over the weekend. We talked about the dry spell (no lick). She says I must do a better job pampering her before I am allowed to lick. She says I must take my time to bath her and give her a good massage before I can lick her ass and pussy. Joining this forum got me motivated to get our sex life going again
Hi there and good luck to hear you've got the motivation back, you mentioned earlier you tried various devices to no avail, I've been the same but recently purchased a very small cage with urethral insert and that makes pullout nearly impossible but 're insertion a definate no go, maybe try this route if your still after a cage
Baths and bathing are also important with my mistress and pampering her like that often leads to me being permitted to worship her sacred place. Your service to your wife is admirable and I understand why you'd despair over six months of isolation. IMHO that's too long and you two need to communicate about your need to sexually express your submission. Good luck.
Best wishes for success @csd! I share your dilemma and continue to wait for my post-menopausal wife to come around. The only thing I fear more than my sex life being over, is that she'll eventually take the key to shut me up - then I will be locked and forgotten. No real difference in our physical relationship, just a cage and no other outlets either... Keep us posted, and hang in there!
Thanks for the replies. I initiated the conversation with her about lack of sex. It was a good conversation. She pretty much repeated what she said in the past. She does not want intercourse. She will not suck my cock ever (she never has). She says I can give her oral sex if I do a good job bathing and massaging her first. My wife is not the type to ask for oral sex. I am going to need to do a better job of pampering her and then ask her politely if I can please lick her. I am going to have to take the initiative. I think she enjoys being licked. Her pussy gets really wet. She seems to like having her asshole licked more than her pussy. I wonder how many women are like that? As far as the chastity - She doesn't care about that at all. She does not care if I masturbate as long as it is in private (she does not want to watch). I do limit my masturbation to once a week so I am always eager to please her. Once a week is right for me. It keeps me feeling horny most all the time which I like.
It sounds to me like you are now on the right track - communication is the key! If you guys talk it out and really listen to each other's needs, it will go a long way to happiness!