Still trying!

Obey, man, just obey. I am about 9 months ahead of you on the same path you are starting, with nearly the same chain of events (minus being told to throw it away).

 

I think telling her was the right thing- did you throw it out?

 

Let her catch you masturbating

 

Rather than throwing it away, could she keep it for you? My Wife didn’t like the urethral insert on the first cage I showed her, but her response was to say that since I was giving her control, she would get to keep the cage and I simply couldn’t wear it. I was on the honor system for about two years after that, which was time she needed to build up trust in my desire to be denied.

When the subject of the cage came up seriously again, she was good with me getting one without an insert, and let me order a Jailbird.

Ask her to keep it somewhere inaccessible to you, and to only bring it out when she feels comfortable with it. If you’re anything like me, throwing it away will lead to two things: you’ll get resentful, and you’ll probably end up buying another cage. If she keeps it for you, that gives you more incentive to keep pleasing her, and it gives her power over it which she doesn’t have if you’re using it behind her back or resenting having to throw it away.

 

It didn’t sound like she liked the cage, the only thing she did seem to enjoy was teaching you a lesson...which you didn’t seem to learn.

I suggest you bring it up as a favor, that you touch yourself too much, and need help to control that. Tell her you enjoy the lack of control, and the denial while keeping her satisfied is exciting. Tell her that there are other cages that are better looking and more like jewelry than plastic, if she didn’t like the looks of that one. Tell her you need her help to stay focused on what’s important...her.

After that, and she still thinks it’s awful, I’m sorry but this might be something that turns her off, and too much to accommodate. Then that’s it, she’s not into it. The good news is you talked, she knows what you like, and will know why your attention span and attitude changes back to your old self.

Good luck

 

“It wasn’t as much of a turnoff as she thought” - oh you smooth honey dripper!

As much as it was promising that she had endured it, you did also mention she primarily enjoyed it because she thought she was torturing you into never wanting to do that again. The fact that it didn’t work, doesn’t change her intent on...not wanting to do it again.

If it’s very important to you, tell her so, maybe there is a compromise there somewhere.

 

It’s taken almost 2 years for my wife to feel comfortable enough to order a cage. I had nothing to do with the ordering of it except giving her my dimensions. The cage has not arrived and I have not asked what she ordered. 2 years ago if you asked her about putting me in chastity she would have told you to go fly a kite. My point is it takes time and effort and more time and more effort. Do as she says and throw it away.

 

Haha the old ‘careful what you wish for’ adage comes to mind

 

If she’s bringing it up, that sounds like an invitation to talk. I’m not very good at communicating about difficult things, so your response of “yes” and nothing more is probably what I’d do, but those moments where she wants to talk about it shouldn’t be wasted. She knows you want it more, so share with her why you want it and why her plan backfired. Your focus on showing how it will benefit her is important, but if she has any curiosity at all about what you get out of it, communicating about that will help too.

 

you could always ask, "Can we talk about it?" Getting permission to actually discuss it is a big step.

 

I suggest you talk to her about building a list of things that interests her and things she is interested in having you do. When you feel the urge you attack the list and complete it and if you can show that the list is exhausted on a regular basis, ask her if a male chastity element can be added to the list.

 

Or, ask her if she wants to play a game. Writes a list of chores for you to do and she holds your key until you finish them. It may start with a short simple list but will get longer as she realizes that al, she has to do is lock you up to get things done.

 

From his statement she was pretty clear, so my view is to lead and prove sincerity via action. This is also not a top from the bottom situation, but one where he proves himself over and over and then she may say hey let me revisit why I don't like it.

 

Then again, if she gets everything she wants without a cage, why would she do the cage?

 

I recently posed it to my mistress lately like this...I started with questions about us together. Is she satisfied with her role, am I fulfilling my role, does she see the benefits of my behavior, does she understand why I am asking for chastity, etc... I got all positive answer answers to these questions. I then posed my request like this: "I am committing all of my self to you and asking for nothing except to be allowed to make you happy and to satisfy you. Is it possible for you to consider doing this one thing for me?" I don't think it is out of bounds to make a request, for it is just that. Yes or no is still up to her.

 

People don’t change without reason. She has no reason to incorporate a cage . I bet she can’t even articulate a good reason why she is against you wearing it. She would have the key and access any time she wants it so why is it a big deal? You are giving her all the benefits of her being a key holder without her being a key holder.

 

...exactly where I am too.