It has now been 20 months since I confessed to my wife about masturbating and started winding down the path to trying to improve our marriage. I made all of the mistakes, over-did it, put too much pressure on her, she didn’t understand, we tried some chastity… But this month has been different. I believe she is finally starting to understand that if she is willing to control and pace my orgasms… This is more than a game to me, it changes me and makes me better…and it’s somehow a dream come true for me. Its enjoyable for her and there is no need for guilt when she receives pleasure and I don't Our marriage and my treatment of her is more fulfilling, healthy, and fun. I am more adoring, loving, compliant…always seeking ways to please her and to gently hit on her which makes her feel beautiful We have not had anything resembling an argument. All of this is even good for our kids who you can tell love that their parents are "in love" I was going crazy yesterday and literally could not think straight after 1 orgasm in 21 days. (keeping in mind I've been pleasuring her a lot, and she has been acting a little dominant with me sending me through the roof) She asked me to get into the tub with her and rub her feet and legs. I explained to her that I don't think this stuff matters to her and I'm really struggling and we should end my period of denial for now because I can't concentrate. She said "well, I am really enjoying the way you are treating me, but its hard for me to know when to release you". We kept talking and agreed that she would continue to decide if and when I orgasm, based on her desire for sex, whether she is pleased and impressed with me, or if its simply been "long enough". We went to the bedroom and she climbed on top of me, got herself off, asked me to promise to "be good" (honor system) until me next orgasm, and then told me to cum….and I had the best orgasm of my entire life. It lasted what seemed a lifetime. She watched me from on top and said it looked like I might cry. Amazing…I can still feel it today. Anyway…I think for the first time I can say my wife is controlling my orgasms on a long-term basis, is herself enjoying it, appreciating the effects, getting comfortable denying my, and getting a little bit more dominant. Awesome!!!
I mentioned but I'll do it again..for guys with a hesitant vanilla or submissive wife, this article I think helped my wife see this arrangement as "fun" and "mainstream" I think...its helpful to see from a perspective of a woman and other than mine... http://archive.is/wvvgc
One other thing I've noticed through this, my wife seems very comfortable with the idea of me "begging" for release...the few times I've mentioned it she has said "I would like to see that" and yesterday in the tub when I told her I could just break down to my knees and beg you...she said..."do it now, tell me how much you need me"...she's mentioned the "needing her" thing a few times too...I think she likes that aspect. great stuff from her...
She too loves when I’m broken down enough to beg or to admit how much I need her. It’s very humbling to actually say it, at least for me.
Thanks Bro, you know how it is some days are more exciting than others...she probably just ended her "horny period" (the week and a half after period) so it will get quieter now for a bit. But, feels like we are way more able to communicate and find middle ground and she is not worried or confused, just able to enjoy each other which is nice. Talk soon...
yeah definitely know how that goes. I was unlocked a few weeks ago and procrastinated about locking back up. She is still learning so hasn't been that exciting especially during the week. But finally she said I need you to lock back up, your attention and motivation towards me is severely lacking lol. I think she's getting it also.