Dear CM fellows: I don't know if this is the right place to post this message, but where there are introductions there are also departings, where there are arriving there are also leaving. I've joined CM for a little more than nine months so far. Time enough for bringing something new to my world. Prior to that date, I knew nothing or almost nothing about male chasting and the benefits that this living style could bring to both partners. Although I knew how fruitful could it be restraining ejaculation for males from my training on old oriental practices, being a member of CM and having been in close contact with practitioners from all over the world, has brought to me a new understanding of how the male side is reacting to it, how can be helpful the different male chastity devices, what are the more common responses about being controlled and restrained and most important of all, what is the role of the female on all that. There are those who can meet and succeed the challenge and those who are not up to it. The last ones are mainly those who get aroused by the idea of a female controlling their primal instinct and see this as just another kink appealing to stimulate their libido and get laid. They will never have the full benefits that chasting can bring to their lives. Those who have followed the same threads that I had been involved know how I treasure sex as a way to develop our inner self and the use of sex for the purpose of grabbing hold of a fuller understanding of our role in life. When I mention about males and females and the shifting of the power, I'm not addressing the masculine and feminine individuals, but the characteristic and original traits of each sex. FLR focus on shifting the traditional power role of the male behavior towards the female partner, in my view not to degrade the male, but to bring about the female characteristics confined and dwarfed by our repressive society into every male brain since its upbringing, and, by the way, on our female attitudes too, as females are also victims of our patriarchal society, after all in most families females are the sole responsible for education and upbringing of our infants and they help to perpetuate that unfortunate state of things. In my view, two are the most important messages in FLR. The first thought I want to share with you is: every male through knowing his internal resident female and bringing her to light and at the same time keeping alive the male, gains a better understanding of his inner self, and can be prepared for the next leap in knowledge, namely the full immersion in the universal stream to another plane of knowledge, opening his heart, connecting with the within spirit, and releasing the fears that give life a bitter taste. This can be accomplished by restraining the male outward flow of semen, turning it inward and thus preserving his sexual energy storing his strength for the leap to the next level of knowledge in order to realize his full potential. Ejaculation prevents this from happening, so masturbation must be repressed and condemned, teasing and denying brings out the best that lies inside the male, the humbleness, and the humility that has to be devoted to his internal female, necessary steps to be taken for the blossoming of the new male character, one that can and will bring joy and self-realization. The use of a device is priceless for those that can't be left alone without messing around but in the long run, the honor system is the better choice. Regular spanking assured by his female partner regarding this aspect of submitting and control plays an important role as a way to tell the physical body that a change of behavior is an ongoing process. Femininization, on the other hand, is entirely an option of the involved couple, it can speed the process of learning and submit or slow it, depending on the circumstances and evolution of each relationship. The second thought is about how sites like CM helps in bringing closer the dissemination of this living style to a broader audience, making a mass adopting of FLR more feasible on the seeable horizon. On a true FLR, there's no possibility of a war between sexes, as there is no fighting but only the wresting of lovers through love, not of battling enemies. This can only be possible by the female lead as the male has that irresistible instinct to fight, an opposite drive that of the female will of care and giving. It is important to express here that care and giving are not weak traits but the most important attributes that womankind has to offer to our chauvinistic society. FLR being a living widespread style it would be the end of all wars and bring peace on earth. I know I do not have enough knowledge to give lectures to anyone, everyone has its own way, I have mine and by no means I believe that that is the only way, it is only my way and it may and certainly will change in the future, always learning from my ongoing experience. One of the most beautiful characteristics features of CM is how anyone can express its feelings and share its way with others with no fear of being harassed or blamed for its supposed evil doings, this is so reassuring! I could say that knowing in depth about FLR and all of its different ways it changed my life but that would be an overstatement, but I'm certain that some of my prior knowledge of how the way the male brain functions and how the male character can change with chasting, has made of me a better version of myself as I could immerse deeply in so many treats of it that I couldn't have known if it was not for all of you been sharing so candidly your life and ideas with us. For those who have had the patience to follow me up to here, I have to say that my intention is to express how indebted I am to everyone and all here for everything that I have had the opportunity to learn, being them Mistresses, subs, or even curious about FLR, all of them my instructors, everyone has something to teach to anyone. I want to express my satisfaction to you because of all that I have learned from many threads and chatting with the more knowledgeable of you made of me a better listener and interlocutor when it comes to understanding the male part of life, much more aware of how the empowering of women can make a better living for all. Of the many enlightening threads I've followed as I can't mention them all I want to highlight especially those of Breathe, magnificently written with an open heart and truly offering that splendid knowledge of how love can free the restraints that bind us, thanks Breathe for your teachings and my regards to @_and_smile for offering so candidly the male counterpart. Of all members that I have had conversations that enhanced my knowledge, as I can't mention them all, I want to thank L for the short stories he dedicated to me and his profound view of the woman side, being always attentive and respectful, a true gentleman, so rare on our times. Last but not least, my dear D has been a good companion and best friend, we have grown together in a way that we couldn't ever imagine from an online relationship, hope someday we can meet in real life or maybe in a future one if that can be. I'm indebted also to many others whom I had the pleasure to meet here, love them all, I have assisted some of you here to get rid of the nasty habit of masturbation, hope they keep up the good work. As you have had guessed by now, I'll be away for some time from my online activities for a good reason - my upcoming marriage. Some of you already know about our relationship, we became engaged last year and in a few days after an intimate ceremony, a honeymoon trip will take place followed by a long period of studies and reflections. Sometimes to be freed from the chains that hold us and being able to expand our breath a window must be opened and even some glass shattered. You can leave the destiny guide you or you can guide the destiny, we chose the latter one. For some time I'll be away from CM and of most online activities. Hope to see you as soon as possible. Kissing you all. Joan&Ann. Suddenly, a white paw reached up and grabbed her by the ankle. With a quick jerk, it yanked her off her feet. Alice threw out her arms and screamed She was falling. down the rabbit hole ― Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland
That was written with love and honesty, your writing is profound, interesting and intelligent, and I for one will miss you. Embrace your changes and grow.....the world is big and so many people needing your teachings.... I, from my heart, wish for you and your new partner a happy loving and fulfilling life. I have grown and become a better version of myself and this is because of you.....thank you for having the opportunity to be a part, however small, of your life......I am indeed blessed. xxx
This is beautifully written and has so many great thoughts, some I have acted on myself. I wish you both a wonderful journey through life and shall read this again if I ever have doubts about the path I should tread, Miss Joan big smiles from someone you helped
It’s a pretty big detachment from reality for a fetishist to try to normalize his fetish as somehow being a good standard for what the norm should be. Just imagine, someone into corporal punishment suddenly thinking that it is a good and solid foundation to organize a relationship. FLR is about power imbalance. It’s about control. It’s about superiority and command of one partner over the other. It’s the complete antithesis of an equal and balanced relationship. I truly question the sense of reality of anyone who tries sell it as anything other than a fetish for people who like being controlled and obeying orders. Same thing for having basic autonomy over your own body regulated and controlled with chastity, or having your pleasure being less important than that of your partner. This is all good and fun as a fetish, and I have that fetish too otherwise I wouldn’t be here. But to imply this is in any way a good standard to be “mass adopted” by the general public is just laughable. If ANY guy into male-dom ever came close to implying something like this he would be crucified, and rightfully so.
What a lovely update. That was an awesome surprise as I was reading, too. @Joan.t - thank you so much for your kind words. Encouraging love and understanding seems to be quite important for us both; I feel honored to have connected with you here. I wish you and yours only the best. I look forward to your return.
Last year I shared my metoo story, and it helped me start to understand the conflicts to gender and sexuality. I have a very dominant masculine spirit around protection, loyalty and love for service; however, on the flip side my yin to yang also has one where I wish to submit fully and unconditionally to a woman in a variety of ways. Hence, I am very much a natural switch under some sexuality views. How I started to repair my masculinity was actually through the start of reading and educating myself on feminism and becoming a feminist. I am not a perfect person and will screw things up massively, but what I learned goes along some lines you have stated here. To rebuild, transform the masculine spirit sometimes requires looking at the negative (not to mean bad btw) or opposite version which is feminine. Most people don't get that everyone is not purely binary with their gender and sexuality. Of course some people never adjust their dials and that is a-ok since it means they never experienced hard trauma or a variety of other nasty/negative things. That is a good thing! So like a clock, gender (or masculine/feminine spirituality), 9'o clock is pure feminine, 3'o clock is pure masculine, noon is bisexual, and 6pm is asexual with positive views and negative views depending on how one swings the hour hand. The same thing applies to hetero/homo sexuality views. For me prior to my assault, I was a pure 3'oclock guy and depending on loss it dipped to the negative 4-6 (heavy masturbation makes one asexual). After it I learned to question things, albeit it took nearly two decades before I attacked the demons. So what you share isn't foreign, or weird or wild. One need to learn that as a human being, we are dynamic, different, and diverse and that is a-ok, as long as one stays positive. Thanks for the share
This was so brilliantly written! I for one will miss our conversations @Joan.t . In our 7 months, I have appreciated the time you have given me & your effort to help me learn some finer points of 'living'. In your absence, you will be thought of often. And once again, congratulations - very happy for you both.