Orgasm denial and chastity in question.

Of course. Whether her penis is locked or not, erect or not, cums or not, and variations and combinations of these are entirely up to her. IMHO that is the entire point of chastity -- her control as a means to improve all aspects of our relationship.

 

Firstly I'd like to thank Amanda for raising such an interesting point of development in the chastity mind-set. It's typical of her to be forward thinking and at the cutting edge in this.

I'd like to make the point that 'ruined' orgasms are a cause of much confusion and that, when properly conducted, they are a source of immense 'corrective' female empowerment. When offered a genuinely ruined climax I have often asked to continue in ongoing chastity rather than experience the bizarre mixture of frustrated longing and minimised 'relief' such a disciplined orgasm provides.

But let's be clear, most internet depictions of 'ruins' are no such thing. Wherever any physical contact with the penis is sustained at approach of orgasm, even the lightest touch or fleeting caress, then the orgasm should properly be deemed as full and complete.

Genuine 'ruins' are obtained only when the male gives adequate warning well in advance of any ejaculation. Manipulation or stimulation of any kind is then completely withdrawn and a 'hang' time then begins. If after 60 seconds no drips of ejaculate appear then stimulation may begin again.

Ideally as a couple explore this practice, then the 'timing' and warning to stop all stimulation will result in a 'hang' time of several seconds, perhaps up to twenty or more, between the cessation of stimulation and the subsequent emission.

A lengthy but effective 'hang' period will produce a spluttering, achingly confused and unfulfilling release. Both parties then know that 'relief' (of a sort) has been graciously granted, and the male can then be recaged in the knowledge that his Lady has kindly governed and controlled his libido.

As I mentioned, the muted sensations and deeply unsettling emotions that follow truly ruined emissions mean that, when given the choice, I frequently choose to remain in chastity rather than suffer such a disciplined and often bitterly frustrating orgasm.

I completely agree with Amanda that, when the key holder permits, either 'caged' or 'ruined' orgasms are a perfectly acceptable way of managing relief in the chaste male. As Rectrix ays above, all that really matters psychologically and physically, is that total control remains with the nominated key holder.

 

I have no choice, my wife loves to give me ruined orgasms. She says she loves the feel of my hot cum running down the length of her pussy and on to the crack of her ass. My hang time is only 4 or 5 seconds, and I would love to increase that time, but so far I have not been able to do so. I agree, the ruined orgasms you see on porn sites are not really ruined orgasms.

 

Don't think a magic wand gives the same feeling as real stimulation. Yes you can cum but feels kind of weird masturbating this way. I believe if the rules are he is not allowed to use it think it should have consequences. Maybe lock the magic wand away preventing cheating. Should be seen as cheating. Cheating isn't okay. If you allow this type of pleasure then it's okay. Still think it's not the kind of pleasure a someone that's locked-up are craving. But it's almost the same as anally getting a orgasm while in chastity. If cheating should have a servere consequence that would be remembered if he agreed on this is not allowed.

 

Very interesting posts! Actually it is very true that a locked orgasm means a waste of sperm. The semen just drips away and it is not very useful, unless collected! But the woman is still fully safe and in charge! Also, I'd like to remember that the experience is very frustrating and very very different from a full satisfying orgasm unlocked! I think a man should refrain from this and trying his best to avoid it. I shows commitment and caring for the lady. But if it happens is just another sign of the power of the woman over the locked man. It's just a physical act and doesn't compromise the foundations of the relationship in my view. Personally is very far from satisfaction too!

 

For the last fifteen years or so that we've been playing with this, I've always managed to have some kind of release while caged. It depends on how long it's been since the previous time, how aroused I am, how aroused Mrs Edge is, moon phases, what I had for dinner, or some other kind of voodoo. It usually happens while we're having sex. When I'm locked, I'm wearing a strapon, and the rhythmic pushing, combined my talking dirty in her ear seems to activate something that I can't always stop.

It's never the same twice in a row. Sometimes it's just a weird feeling in my groin, and next thing you know, some semen is being leaked or pumped out. Sometimes it feels "ruined" in the sense that it's very incomplete. And sometimes it feels like... well, almost like a full blown orgasm.

Mrs Edge is both amused and aroused by these. She doesn't get mad or feel like it's cheating. On the contrary, she loves to use that as a reason to claim "See, I don't need to unlock you, do I?" And usually, that leads to us egging each other on about leaving me locked for longer periods, perhaps even permanently, which inevitably leads to another orgasm for her.

That said, she has been able to force one out of me with the Hitachi. The plastic CB3000 would take just a couple of minutes, but the cast stainless steel clone, The Fort, seemed to be too heavy to transmit enough vibration. My current device, the boringly named A272, is thinner stainless steel, and probably would allow it, but we haven't tried it yet. Vibrator orgasms are a step above ruined - enough to clear the pipes, but sometimes not worth the comedown afterward. Other men's mileage may vary.

 

For Mistress Keyholder and I it is the fact that She makes all the decisions. She decides if I am to be caged or not. And likewise, it is Her decision if and when I get to orgasm. Its the loss of control for me. For Her it is the power She enjoys.
Oh, and She doesn't do rules apart from whatever I decide today

 

Mis-posted into another thread...posting in the correct.

I find this, for us, to be true. Your psychology may vary, as will your physical stimulation needs, but we have come to accept orgasms when caged as inevitable and yet not unacceptable.

For myself, the mere act of being caged does several things most notably 1) it immediately disassociates orgasm from erection, something engrained as far back as I can recall making my “attitude” sexually tense and hyper aware 2) with lack of penile “shaft” attention it drives me (literally) to pursue other means of stimulation (balls, ass, anything), and 3) over time with #1 and #2 my yearning becomes so outward focused I reach a form of feedback loop with my partner whereby her orgasm, pleasure etc literally feels like my own...there is no “interpretation”, when she cums I immediately feel like I am cumming as well up to and including post climax euphoria.

Given this, we had to accept that my having an orgasm while caged was “natural”, as I now often cum with no direct stimulation, just the feedback loop of her climax and the cage pressure making me explode. It is completely different however than a standard orgasm...it starts differently and grows/overwhelms me, often for some minutes, and swells from other areas. I'll add, its not even something i "want" anymore...it overwhelms me, but in general the euphoria of being "denied" or sexually frustrated and needing (in a deep way) the feedback loop of her sexual pleasure is much better than the brief albeit powerful orgasm while caged.

Anyway different strokes for different folks. They key is to enjoy what works for you and your individualized relationship. Enjoy.

 

It's entirely up to the keyholder! Sometimes I want to restrict his erections and sometimes I want to let it out and play with it and give it a good edging before putting it back into It's cage. Naturally without an orgasm. It's what I call topping it up!

 

I would disagree here. My wife has become very good at ruining orgasms, though the "hang time" from stopping stimulation to dribbling ejaculation varies between 4-10secs. I don't need to warn her as she has learnt the signs of impending orgasm. She can even ruin orgasms just using her pelvic floor muscles. The amount of pleasure compared to a normal orgasm may vary between 0 to 20% depending on the timing, but the outcome is the same, ejaculation but without the drop in horny-ness (and all that follows).

 

A riuned orgasm for me is no satisfaction at all. It feels nice on the build up because the penis thinks it's going to be finally given an orgasm, but to then stop and let it dribble out of it without the orgasm is a very strange feeling. The penis is constantly waiting and reminding you it's not finished yet but it is. It's like edging but a bit of physical pressure has been released. No frustration has gone at all though.

 

Yes indeed. A ruined is a strange beast. The frustration is immense

 

Quote @EdgednDenied ("It feels nice on the build up because the penis thinks it's going to be finally given an orgasm, but to then stop and let it dribble out of it without the orgasm is a very strange feeling. The penis is constantly waiting and reminding you it's not finished yet but it has)".

There is nothing like watching it straining hard and then softly throb and run down it. Unsatisfying to you maybe but highly satisfying for me!

 

Good! That is the punishment for releasing some pressure.

 

I think the frustration from a ruined orgasm has a lot to do with whether your expecting one or not. Personally I prefer a RO and if I'm expecting one its more of a release of pressure more so then frustration. Its a bit of both. But if your not expecting one then yes its a terrible feeling. Regardless in the end its a bit like removing a band aid. It has to be done and sometimes its not pretty

 

100% agreed. I think everyone's 'hang time' varies... Figuring out the sensations down to the millisecond has been great fun for Me.

A ruined orgasm, to Me, seems very much like taking a beer comb and swiping the excess off an expertly-poured pint of your favorite beer... retaining just the right amount of heady foam for a satisfying sight and taste.

Despite the dribble, the glass remains full.

Absolutely. 'Topping it up', I like that. Gotta keep the tank full!

 

we men can only be grateful that our Dommes put in so much effort to our training. It is a wonderful thing to know we are under such fine control.

 

This sounds very interesting!! lol

 

Teaching men orgasming without penetration and without being in control is the right way to remove the patriarchy.